So I know it's been awhile but here's the latest chapter. I won't be giving up on this story but sadly I can't crank out chapter after chapter either too quickly since I have a lot on my plate but rest assured this story shall continue, I'm not stopping till I feel like I've gotten to a point I can end it.

As always please if you can leave a review, it really helps me and keeps me writing since sometimes I get into little moments. I'm glad some are still giving this story a chance and please be aware this has a lot of errors in it (if I had to fix I would most likely take many years to finish it) and is GRAPHIC/MATURE and if you just clicked on this story not aware it is SLASH/YAOI/TWINCEST so if you're not a fan then I suggest skipping it cause this would not be the story for you.

Huge thanks to those still reading :D

Chapter 19. Louder Than Your Love

I lick my lips, the sweat dripping from my brow as I continue through, burning up all over. My body feels so alive right now, everything has become so sensitive and my senses are wild. I arch my back slightly and raise myself up so that he's completely unsheathed from me, and with our eyes locked suddenly I bring myself down hard onto his hard cock. I cry out, hearing him echo me, fingers digging into my hips. I continue the rhythm I've set and I think it's safe to say after all the times I've gotten better, more consistent. Throwing my head back I lose myself in the throes of passion, riding Angel until finally we both cum in unison.

Our cries finally die out; the loud rock music that Angel had put on earlier is now audible once again. I roll off Angel, hoping to catch my breath quickly since I need to be back at work soon. We ended up having sex at Fox's studio, which I should note was not at all supposed to happen. I had thought I'd surprise Angel with lunch since this is his first week he's been working for Fox and well one thing led to another.

I wasn't sure about doing it here since well it's Fox's studio but Angel said he's the only one with the keys and Fox is at some art gallery thing so he insisted we wouldn't get caught. Have to admit it was weird at first but I warmed up. It's a little thrilling thinking you could get caught though.

Not like I'd ever want to get caught. Think that would be freaking awful since there's no way you could explain that.

Especially seeing as it would be too freaking obvious.

Angel sits up, breathing still labored. "God you were amazing, I tried my best to make it last."

"No complaints." I laugh tiredly, sitting up to grab my pants from the floor. "Lessons pay off see."

Angel gets dressed as well then stands up from the small cot. We're in a room in the back of the studio, pretty much where Fox I guess sleeps if he's stayed here for too long working on something but according to Angel he hardly uses it. The studio is one of those fancy ones in the heights that must cost a lot to have and Fox definitely uses all the space within it.

So we pretty much have sex a lot but sadly it's been getting difficult since we don't have anywhere to really well do it. After those days at the inn, we tried other places but that tends to get pricey and Angel hasn't been wanting to pay, claiming he's broke but I think he's saving up for something. As for me I have to cut back on my hours since school is back, hoping to find something else though.

Doing it in our room has gotten a little tricky since Mom and Dad are always home and when they do go to sleep it's late and I can't stay up too long now due to my schedule. On top of school and work, I'm also in yearbook club since I want it to look good on my transcript. Then there's all the college prep which I've even strangely convinced Angel to start preparing for.

Sex is and we pretty much cuddle any chance we can get. I've become better definitely, well mainly being the bottom. I don't like to admit it but I like it better, Angel knows my body so well and I know just how to drive him crazy as well. It's like second nature now pleasing him, think its hormones because we both sadly have high sex drives, I didn't even think I had a sex drive.

I clean myself up in the small bathroom then join Angel, who is eating his Subway I bought him. He starts talking about what all he has to do today then the homework from school. "Do you think you could give me the answers to the quiz for Physics?"

"Of course, you always copy me anyways."

He nods his head and thinks for a bit. "I mean if you want you can just tutor me if you have time."

"That would be better." I look through my calendar, trying to find a good date. "I'm swamped tomorrow so if you want to do it tonight that would great."

He sits aside the sandwich and gets up to open a window, lighting a cigarette later. "I mean if you're free then cool but I know you're super busy."

Lately if we have time we pretty much end up doing it and the rare moments we aren't we are either talking about the horrors of second semester, work or being overly cheesy. Since I'm usually at work, club and school I don't even have time to hang with my friends. Martin's been swinging by my job to see me but that's about it, he too has a lot on his plate with sports.

"I'll make time tonight if you don't jump my bones y'know." A blush creeps up onto my cheeks and I cough in my fist.

He laughs, taking a long drag. "Stop allowing me then all the time, I always want you so yeah."

He's definitely right on that, Angel's like always in the mood. We've had some pretty risky moments, especially a couple of days ago when he decided we should screw in the car one night. This probably wouldn't have been so bad if we weren't in the garage. He locked the door of course but we could still have gotten caught. This was during our relatives stay here, Tommy ended up staying over a few extra days and Angel got so desperate he begged me to let it happen.

I sadly always agree, just can't turn him away but lately it's like he just doesn't care to not get caught. Almost infuriates me when he acts like its big deal but as long as I try we can continue without any problems.

"Well Ang, this has to tide you over till like Sunday or next week, think you can manage that?"

"Okay then deal but if I last then you have to give me a date; I wanna take you out somewhere nice." He looks me over and when I simply agree he does a silly cheer. "Awesome, okay just make sure to free up a day for our date cause I'm for sure going to hold back for this."

I slip on my shoes nodding my head, unable to actually take him serious. "Sure, sure but hey call me and let me know when you'll be done working, I have to head back."

He runs after me as I get to the door, calling wait. I stop and turn to him, almost expecting him to remind me that I'm forgetting something in my busy day but instead he gives me a lengthy kiss on the lips. I'm on my way back to my job after that, quite a little afternoon session if I do say so but back to the grind.

But of course since having lunch with Angel took longer than it was supposed to I get stuck in traffic. I really have to start managing my time better but more than anything all the stress from everything is getting to me. Only thing I look forward to is seeing Angel, like he's that one light in my life. I mean I love Melinda and my folks but it doesn't compare with my love for him.

My phone starts ringing and of course it's sadly my boss, not like this is the first time I'm late from lunch. She ends up bitching at for at least thirty minutes before screaming to not bother with coming back and saying I'll be working a double tomorrow. When she hangs up in my face I'd be lying if I said I'm not furious.

Two more calls come after that from my yearbook friends about some stuff they wanted to know and such but I'm still caught up on that damn call from my manager. Now I can't help but to debate on whether I should head back on our side of town or just go back to the studio.

Fuck it I'm free and I'm always down to be with Angel. Pretty rare for me to have some time so this should be good.

I finally get to exit and just go ahead and head back to the studio and of course Angel's definitely happy to see me. I end up watching him work which today he explains is just him stretching canvas, cleaning paintbrushes and priming a few of the canvas. It's a pretty chill day; we end up making out though at one point while he was still stretching canvas.

A knock sounds on the door and I bolt up from where we're sitting on the floor. Angel gets the door and in walks Fox, carrying this huge portfolio under one of his arms and he also has a cup of coffee in his hand. He's talking to Angel about the show then sees me and grins widely. "Hey it's Thing 1 and Thing 2 together, came to watch us work Payton?"

I nod to this, standing up as Fox dumps his portfolio on the large desk to the side of the room. "You boys eat already 'cause I can order a pizza?"

"Nah we're good, so Fox thought your show was still gonna be going on?"

He sits down on the small stool at the desk, shaking his head and running a hand through his hair. "Decided to leave early, most of my work sold so was no need for me to be there."

Fox has been very much buried into his work a lot lately and sometimes during class he spaces out. Since Angel and I are close to him we found out a few days ago he broke up with his girlfriend and she, according to him is not taking the breakup well. It's been noted though that I know for sure Fox has a bit of a way with the ladies, guy seems to have a few stalkers already.

"I'm so glad your brother could work for me Payton, I'm like swamped with so much stuff then there's still the construction of my gallery. Angel is a better helper than student that's for sure." He chuckles.

"Hey," Angel mocks as if his feelings are hurt. "I'm improving myself academically, don't pretend you don't notice."

Fox jots down a few things, smirking. "Oh Thing 1 you should become a comedian as well, too funny. You know you are already missing homework in my class?"

"I'll help him don't worry." I assure as Angel joins me back on the floor, going through one of portfolios that he had cleaned out earlier."

Fox swivels the stool to face me, looking to us both. "Don't fall behind either from it though, you didn't hear this from me but let's just say definitely could be valedictorian."

I fake being surprised, not really news to me. I've been striving for this ever since I could remember and when we we're being home schooled I made sure to study extra hard to get back on track. It would be an honor if I do end up being my class' valedictorian.

"Oh also if you want a letter of recommendation I'll be happy to write it."

"Hope you do the same for me." Angel chimes in, throwing his arm about my shoulders.

Fox rolls his eyes. "Well of course, actually think you're a better artists than you are at writing a paper."

I sit there listening to them discuss Angel's plans after high school and now I'm thinking about it. Typically people go their separate ways after, even siblings. Before I was a little scared to be apart from Angel, but now that we are like this I can't imagine being from him. That's life though, right? Maybe I should go the community college for a bit with him and decide on going to university later. I guess it's a lot to think about but I really shouldn't get so worried, it's not like couples don't survive long distances.

Fox stands up with the school suddenly, checking his watch as he gathers some scattered papers from off the floor. "Well boys, I have prior engagement to tend to so will see you in class tomorrow. Clean and lock up when you're done Thing 1, oh and don't forget to get those two paintings I've been working on and bring them to my apartment tomorrow. Ciao boys."

With that he's out the door leaving us alone once again. I help Angel with the tasks he seems to have today, considering how much free time I have right now. After he's done in the studio, Angel goes to the gym. I tag along, following Angel's routine. He's never been a fitness nut but lately he's been hitting up the gym more, says he wants abs or something. I of course didn't come prepared to work out but luckily Angel has extra clothes in his locker. Yeah he has a membership, safe to say he's taking this pretty serious.

I'm not that athletic myself so I'm content with walking on the treadmill, being naturally slender is a curse and a blessing. I mean since he's been working out and bulking, Angel's actually put on some muscle, nothing over the top but just more onto his lean frame, almost to his goal though of having abs.

Within only twenty minutes I tire of the treadmill and go in search of Angel, finding him shortly in the weights area, lifting. I sit down on one of the benches, watching him a little before getting on Facebook on my phone.

A text from Claire comes in, another regular for me lately. We've gotten closer since they all come and stayed with us, I mean they don't live that far but it's a drive so we mainly text each other. My cousin is an interesting girl, a little annoying at times since she tends to get overdramatic about a lot of things but she's really sweet. I'll admit that I strangely find myself going to her for relationship advice, obviously I don't tell her about Angel and I but I did tell her I'm gay and she's completely cool with that.

The text simply says to call her when I'm not busy, guess she thinks I'm at work. I lay down on the bench, deciding to just chill here till Angel's done and of course call her. She answers hastily as if she's wanted to talk.

"Hey Payton, I take it you're not busy."She greets, her voice is neutral but a lot chipper than it usually is.

"What's up?"

"Well Blair and I were hoping you guys wouldn't be busy tomorrow since we were planning to drive down there."

Of course, I should also let it be known that she goes nowhere without him. It's a little funny since Angel and I are almost the same way but they get excessive. Even when we text, she has me in a group message with her and Blair. Hell she could have me on speakerphone, would not be surprised.

I look towards Angel as he does pull ups. "Uh…well I'm not busy, well I can make time I should say, tomorrow right?"

"Yes, we're skipping school tomorrow and thought we would take a trip to see you guys again."

Not that I condone skipping school but hey I'm their cousin not their parent so I say nothing on this. "Okay well we can meet up after we get out, very random though Claire."

She laughs and sure enough I hear Blair's voice in the background. "Well we missed you so much, how's Angel anyway?"

I look briefly to him, clearly his focus on whatever rep he's on and machine. "He's good, so what time should I be expecting to see you two?"

Blair suddenly has the phone now, Claire laughing to something in the background. "We're still planning, so just be on the lookout for us tomorrow and hey keep this from your folks since we are skipping."

"Gotcha." Not even sure where this random visit is coming from but guess they've grown fond of us, even though Angel's always teasing them.

When I finally get off the phone, Angel's standing over me with a bottle of water. "Who was that?"

I accept the water and move over as he sits beside me. "Just our two favorite cousins ditching school just to come see us tomorrow, like can you believe that?"

"Oh, any particular reason why?" When I shrug he chuckles light, wiping his brow of the sweat that's been building up. "Guess I can't be surprised."

I find myself looking him over before he notices, a blush spreading on my face. Awkwardly I pretend to have been staring past him but I'm sure he sees through that. "So anyway um…where to after this, just remembered I got homework to catch up on oh and tutor you if you want."

"Gonna grab a quick shower here and we can head out, sound cool?"

I simply give him thumbs up, that amused look on his face still there and clearly he's thinking dirty. Probably would just love it if I followed him to the shower but I will greatly decline since we're here in public.

When he leaves I gather up our stuff and head to the front of the gym where there's a smoothie station. The girl behind the counter is almost too busy absorbed into her phone to notice me but finally does. I'm about to order when someone surprises me from behind.

"Boo Payton, surprised to see you here."

I give a small wave but he simply brushes that aside and pulls me in for a tight hug. "Oh come on you know I'm a hugger."

Of course I should know this, it's made for some very awkward moments after the whole rejecting him and it still does.

"Yeah, how have you been Robbie?" It's actually pretty rare for me to see him, I mean I still hang out with Simon and the others but according to him Robbie skips lunch (the only time I use to see him). Not sure if he does it to avoid me or just has better things to do during that time. Wouldn't blame him for avoiding me though, It's not like I gave him a reason as to why we couldn't go out.

He folds his arms across his chest, sporting a shirt with the gym's logo, the words trainer at the bottom, indication that he works here. "I've been good, been busy with work here oh and college prep stuff; how are you? Seeing anyone?"

Well damn he jumped straight there, not casual about it at all. Not sure if he's asking just to make conversation or if he's still has feelings for me. I can never tell with Robbie, he's not very readable and he constantly jokes around.

"I'm good, same with the work and college stuff and um…yea I am actually seeing someone."

His shoulders slump ever so slightly, smirk spreading on his face. "Ah, I figured as much."

After a much awkward pause he perks up, almost as if an idea comes to mind. "Hey you busy this Saturday; we're having a little house party and you and Angel are invited."

Never been to Robbie's house but if I went I know for sure Angel would be coming. Not like I have time to be going to a house party, plus to be fair I've never been much a party person. That party lifestyle is all Angel, I'm a nerd, well don't game as much as I use to but I'm also cutting back on that going out and stuff.

He notices my hesitation and chuckles. "I'm inviting as a friend okay, remember we were friends before I wanted more. Martin's also going, think of it as a pre-graduation bash and it's my sister's birthday; really want to hang out again."

"Donnie won't be there right?"

Robbie thinks on that and then shakes his head. "No, we don't talk much after I told him about our date. He was perfectly cool about it but then later got mad."

Donnie and I avoid each other as much as possible; well I guess you could say I avoid him. He's become a nuisance and never misses an opportunity to let me know how much I'm missing out. At school he started randomly harassing me, little stuff of course and never around anyone. He doesn't come to the house anymore, Angel sees to that and I'm glad things have not gotten physical.

I go ahead and just agree to go to the party, one little party won't hurt and after today I think I'll be quitting my job since it's more of a problem than it helps. I haven't seen Robyn for awhile anyway and I'm sure she would be bummed if I skipped her birthday party.

Robbie smiles his usual toothful grin, running a hand through his hair. "Awesome, you need me to pick you up that day?"

"Fancy seeing you Robbie." Angel walks over to us, hair still slightly dripping with water; he looks him over then hoists his duffel bag more on his shoulder.

"Hey Angel, didn't know you were a member here, I kind of just started working here a few days ago."

"Robbie just invited us to Robyn's birthday Saturday, you free?"

Angel doesn't hesitate to think about it and quickly nods his head, indifferent of the situation and I'm sure he had other plans for Saturday. Should be okay, it's not like he hates Robbie or anything but then again he's not that close to Robbie and the others as I am. Kind of regret even agreeing to go but it's just one party and I definitely want to end the awkwardness between Robbie and I, we are friends.

"Well of course my sister's going to be happy you both are coming, believe it or not but she's got quite the crush on you Angel."

"So I should strip for her as a gift?"

It takes Robbie a minute before he realizes my brother's joke then he chuckles in return, a slight tinge of red staining his cheeks and he coughs into his fist. "You have no idea how much she would love that."

Of course I'm not surprised that she still likes Angel, he's shown no interests whatsoever but she has even taken it upon herself to leave little notes in his locker, try and flirt on Facebook; all things are rather bold considering its Robyn but I assume she's gotten desperate and wants to put it all out there. She really isn't a bad catch, kind of pretty when she's not caked in that dark makeup. I almost want to root for her since I understand unrequited love but things have changed. Angel's mine, my heart's too invested in what we have and I am without a doubt addicted to him.

I feel his hand grip my wrist and I snap from my thoughts. "Let's go Payton; we'll see you around Robbie."

"See you guys at the party."

The last of what he says I don't hear since Angel's pulling me along with him, I walk faster to keep up with his pace. When we're outside the gym he pinches me on the forearm. I yelp and move away from him, rubbing the now tender area.

"What was that for?"


"Hey you didn't have to agree to go too." I head in the direction of the vehicle, Angel following me now, groaning.

"Why did you agree to go yourself, you know I'll only go if you do duuh."

We drive home then, Angel still going on about the party and come home to an unusually empty house. I find a note on the fridge that simply says that mom went over to her friend's house. Not sure how long she's been gone but I know for sure dad's at work, he practically works at his office and home.

In the Crockpot I find some roast and veggies, judging by the dirty dishes and high chair it's clear they all ate already. I fix Angel and I a plate and we decide to just eat in our room. Angel throws on a movie and we sit on a blanket on the floor. My mind is sadly occupied by how this day has turned out and whether I plan to quit my job or not. Money is not really the issue since I don't buy a lot of things, just really needed it during Christmas time but now that that's over I feel like it's coming between my studies and well time with Angel. We may live together but as a couple it's pretty hard to steal a secret kiss from time to time.

I move so that I'm lying down on my stomach, the pain from in my hips and backside are a bit much to handle anymore, as opening credits flash onto the screen. I should be studying but a few hours taking it easy shouldn't be a huge deal, even though my mind keeps going to thoughts of the future again. I feel like Angel and I are going down different paths in life and eventually we will part ways, only seeing each other for family reunions or holidays, who knows.

"So hey, umm…I was thinking of quitting my job." I tilt my head so that I can look over to where he's at, his interests peaked. "Feel like it will give me more time."

"Time for what?"

Ah of course he's going to make me say it, he definitely knows what I'm talking about but is choosing to play like he doesn't.

But alas I allow this, simply rolling my eyes and clear my throat. "For you silly."

"Now who's the horny one?" He laughs, sitting his plate aside and joining me on the floor.

I playfully shove him, trying to hide the blush that's spreading to my cheeks. "

Even though I enjoy sex and definitely enjoy exploring more of my sexual side, at times I do end up over thinking things when it comes to us. I'd be lying if I said that this whole thing doesn't scare me at times. It really is a lot to handle and with this being my second relationship I'm really hoping it lasts a lot longer than my first, considering he's also someone I can't lose.

I take his hand suddenly in mine, looking his face over, clearing my head of silly thoughts of the future. "Want to go for a walk after we eat? I really could use some fresh air."

He shrugs and squeezes my hand. "Sounds good to me, don't think it's as chilly out as it was before."

We finish eating and sure enough the door downstairs opens and I can hear our parents and of course Melinda's whining. Angel gets up from the floor and closes our door so he can change, I stay sitting on the floor, checking my phone to respond to a few messages from Blair and Martin. He throws on his leather jacket and boots then pulls me up to my feet, hugging me first before letting go to go the bathroom real quick.

I throw on my coat and shoes quick and head downstairs where Mom's got Melinda in the kitchen in her highchair eating the same food we had earlier. Mom walks up behind me, patting me on my head. "Hey I see you boys helped yourself, how was it? I decided to go for a different take on the Pot Roast and added a little dash of ranch seasoning."

"It was good." I reply even though I hadn't noticed anything since I was too busy with my constant raging future thoughts.

She seems chipper so that's a good sign, lately it seems to be the norm and I'm pretty grateful for that. Even though they put on such an act around the holidays, maybe it possibly helped since they are moving to a more stable relationship. Dad and her, from what I gather are doing better at counseling so hey there's hope.

"Dad in his office?"

Mom goes over to the sink and starts on the few dishes that were in there. "No, he's helping your grandmother."

"Uh Angel and I are gonna go for a little walk, maybe go over to the little corner store if you need anything."

"Aw thanks dear but I'm good, your father stopped by the store already."

At that moment Angel comes into the kitchen, Mom greeting him with a nod of her head. "You're looking well sweetie; I take it the new job is going great."

Mom never seems to be able to contain her happiness for Angel's progress. I admit I would be too since it wasn't long ago that he had almost tried to take his life. She of course doesn't know the extent of the issue, pretty sure her reaction would not be giving her blessing to us.

Wait, is it conceited to assume I'm the reason Angel's happier? I mean I just think with all that has happened it would be logical that I accept his feelings and returning them would be his reason for joy. Well no matter I'm just happy that he has gotten better, weight is back normal and he is actually doing pretty great in school.

Angel's hand on my wrist snaps me from my thoughts as he pulls me gently towards the garage door. "We'll be back later."

Mom gives a small wave, attention back on the dishes as we head out, the cold air instantly welcoming. I pull from Angel's hold and stuff my hands in my pockets, thankfully he understands and we proceed on our random stroll. I'm such a sap, I totally would want to hold hands but yeah there's no way that wouldn't come off completely weird.

"So have you been worried about graduation?" He asks, walking so that he stays at my pace.

With a shrug I try and change the subject, thinking of some topics that are not future based. "Should we buy a gift for Robyn? I'm not really sure what she'd be into to be honest since she's usually always around Robbie."

He chuckles and starts walking backwards, hands in the pockets of his hoodie. "Wow Pay you really don't want to talk about the future do you?"

Guess he's not going to drop the subject, so much for that. But I can't let him know the thought of the future terrifies me. We just got to this point in our relationship and I really fear that the future is just too complicating.

I open my mouth to say something but stop and then at that same moment my attention is on this small shivering black lump that's across the street, near the park. I make a dash to it, Angel running after me and upon closer inspection I notice that the small creature is simply a black kitten. I lean down to it and try and coax it to me from where it is under the fence.

Angel wipes at his brow, leaning down with me. "Really, you know you can't keep stopping for every stray."

"But it's just a baby."

"Dad's not going to let you keep it, just like last time."

Years before, like when we were eleven, I found a stray cat that had somehow got stranded up a tree in our backyard. I actually managed to climb the tree by myself and get it down, with the help of Angel of course but when I told dad he denied my begging and took the cat to the SPCA. There's been some other times after that but each time dad or mom would just say no.

I scoop the kitten up and bundle it in my jacket. "I'm sure with us being older they won't mind; besides poor thing will die out here in the cold."

Angel stands back up and pulls out a pack of cigarettes as I gather the ball of fluff and hold it close to my chest, getting back up. "Do you have to smoke those?"

He makes a face, glances to me then to the pack in his hand. "Does it really bother you?"

"It's always bothered me Angel." I roll my eyes, the kitty meowing against me, nuzzling closer. "I mean I understand it's hard to give it up and I'm not asking you to, just if you could not smoke around me anymore that would be great."

I don't want to fight on the subject since in the past he would be ignore me or say something mean but strangely he walks into the park and goes to the trash can, ripping the pack apart and tosses it in. When he joins me of course I can't hide my shock to this and it shows on my face. He simply laughs like it's nothing, throwing his arm around my shoulders.

"For you I'll go ahead and just quit."


Didn't see that coming at all and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't moved by this. We start walking again and I suddenly feel a little bad, realizing something then. "Um…Angel I don't want to change you, you don't have to quit if you really don't want to."

He stops walking and gives the kitten a little pet, shrugging. "I think its best, especially since I want to be around you at all times and I know you've never been a fan of cigarettes."

We walk a few blocks then turn around and go back home where I'm greeted by a familiar truck in our drive. Martin steps out, wearing a simple black shirt under his lettermen jacket and blue jeans. He greets us as we come up the walk, Angel regarding him nonchalantly.

"Hey feel like being a wingman for me tonight?"

"I'm gay Martin, remember?"

He grins and rolls his eyes. "I know that, she has a brother and I think he'd be perfect for you. You have to help, he's like always around so I can never really get to know this girl and before you ask I asked Donnie already and he said no."

I glance to Angel, who sadly gives me no clue as to how to handle this. The kitten nudges against my chest at that moment, getting my attention. "Um…I'm actually um…seeing someone."

Donnie's expression does little to hide his surprise and he quickly tries to recover, coughing into his fist awkwardly. "Damn, how come you didn't tell me?"

"Uh...slipped my mind sorry." I try now not to look towards Angel, who continues to simply stand at my side but at the same time not say or back me up.

Martin leans his back against his truck, folding his arms across his chest, not sure if he's hurt because I didn't tell him or because I can't be his wingman. The kitten gets my attention again and I slowly pull it out from my jacket. "It's freezing out here so I'm gonna go in and see if I can sneak it some food."

He raises his brow, deciding to follow Angel and I inside. "You got a cat?"

I give Martin's arm a light time and whisper. "Quiet, we're not supposed to have it."

We head up the stairs to our room, Angel making a quick stop to the kitchen before joining. Once in the room I let the kitty roam onto the floor. I notice then that it's clearly a boy; besides being a little underfed he seems relatively healthy. Angel places a small bowl filled with milk he got from downstairs near the shy kitty.

Martin sits down at the computer chair, taking his jacket off and staring at the kitten then to me. "Dude I'm still shocked you didn't tell me you have an um…boyfriend."

Angel joins me on the floor with the kitten, again saying nothing to help me out a little on this. Guess Martin has a right to his reaction, I have always told him everything, well besides my feelings for him or me being gay until recently.

"So you're going out with Robbie?"

Knowing Martin he will press this issue to the end of days, it's his nature. "No, you don't know him, met this guy online."

"Well can you just go out with her brother for fun? I really like this girl Payton and I would totally owe you big time."

"We can both go." Angel finally chimes in, his attention on the kitten as it burrows into his hoodie. "Two for the price of one kind of thing."

Martin nods slowly then glances to me. "You'd be okay right with it if Angel comes with you?"

I look to Angel, moving the bangs from my eyes. "You're joking right."

"Come on, free rounds of mini golf and go karts." Martin pleads till I finally agree.


Not sure why I agreed to the stupid date, or whatever you want to call it. We meet Martin's date and her brother at the fun center and almost immediately I know the night will not be a fun one especially since Angel's here and of course I just want nothing more than for us to be alone. So I end up hiding the kitten in my jacket and try my hardest to get through this night. The only highlight of the evening is seeing Martin's date fail at miniature golf and seeing her brother try and put the moves on Angel who of course showed no interest.

We get home after stopping at the grocery store by our house for some food for the kitten, Martin inviting himself over to spend the night. I gladly let him have my bed and I end up sleeping in Angel's, dangerous territories but we agree to keep things normal which proves a lot harder than I thought. Never thought I'd crave his touch or his body but I do.

I awake to a start by the sound of the alarm blaring, after silencing the tormenting beeping I go to the bathroom and jump into the shower. When I finish I dry myself off quickly and contemplate whether I should shave or not for a good ten minutes before just getting to it. At that moment however the door barges in, my own mistake of forgetting to lock it. Now I'm staring back at a very wide eyed Martin, of course the one time I don't wrap a towel on myself after drying and this happens.

A logical thing would be to simply to cover myself with a towel and as I urge myself to do so, my body just won't comprehend what my brain is demanding. The heat travels from my face down to my toes and it's like I can feel my face falling off from the embarrassment.

Martin thankfully breaks the awkwardness, mumbling an apology and stepping out from the bathroom. It's only when the door closes that I move to dress. I mean we're both guys so maybe it's not so bad, it is the first time he's seen me naked though. I decide to shrug it off which is of course a difficult task for me since it ends up plaguing me the rest of the morning as I get a quick thing to eat, take care of Melinda while mom tends to grandmother.

If Martin was affected by what happened earlier he shows no signs, joining me downstairs, bed hair and all. "Hey want me to take you, we haven't had a lot of time to catch up and really wanted to."

Even though we're friends I suddenly become nervous, dropping a few of Melinda's sippy cups in the process of trying to get one. "Uh no that's okay, I don't want to trouble you and besides don't you have like an early practice?"

He runs a hand through his hair, making a face. "It can wait, feeling like a bad friend here Pay, like you're always there for me and I'm never there for you."

Mom comes into the kitchen then, picking up Melinda who is covered in oatmeal. "Hey there Martin, I can whip up some breakfast for you."

He grins and gets his jacket from the hanger. "No, it's okay but thanks. See you in class Payton and again I owe you."

With that he leaves and I let out a sigh of relief, my heart returning to its normal pace. Mom raises her brows, looking me over. "Everything okay with you two?"

I nod quickly then pick up the fallen cups, getting Melinda's favorite out. Angel comes down the stairs then, hoodie on and even though he's trying to play it cool, I know the kitten is in his pocket.

Dad also comes into the kitchen then, strangely still dressed in his PJs'. "No work today?"

He kisses mom on her cheek then Melinda, actually chipper, something that he hasn't been in awhile. "Taking a personal day, actually hoping to start my vacation soon so this weekend you boys be prepared cause we're going camping."

This weekend was actually the party if I remember, but as I watch mom and dad conversing about this sudden camping trip, I just keep it to myself. Family time would be what's best for us anyway, well not for Angel and I. But really camping?

"We'll talk about the details when you boys get home." Dad finishes, pouring himself a mug of coffee. "So make sure to take off for the weekend."

We head to school then, Angel passing the kitten to me so that he can drive. I end up hiding the kitten in my locker, with some kitten food we bought before first period. For much of the day I check on him, finding him sleep for the most part but he's thankfully pretty quiet. I of course have made up my mind and I definitely plan to keep him, haven't thought of a name but its coming.

It has not been easy having Donnie in my classes is definitely not only awkward but troublesome. Who knew my first boyfriend would also be a big pain later. Normally all he does is try and pass me notes any chance he can get or attempt to be my partner in various projects, but strangely today he's been avoiding me and sometimes I'll catch him giving me dirty looks. Not sure his problem, but according to Simon recently he's been acting like a dick lately, even to them, choosing more to hang with the football team. I'd be a fool to say I'm surprised by this, I mean his breakup with me wasn't exactly the best.

At lunch, my curiosity gets the best of me and I decide to ask Martin about it. Donnie and him still hang out so he would definitely have some clue as to why Donnie has been icing me out. Like I can take the fact that he's avoiding me but the looks and the random bumping into me any chance he can get is not cool.

Even though we are best friends and have been for years, recently Martin has actually stopped sitting with me at lunch. I'm not exactly sure when it started but I do know that he just stopped one day. He'll come by occasionally just to talk but then he's back to his table with his jock buddies. I sort of just assumed he didn't really care for Simon and the others but it's still odd since we are so close.

Angel's already sitting at the usual table, flanked on one of his side by Simon and a few others. I sit beside him, keeping my eyes peeled for Donnie and going over what I can say in my head. I'm just not one for grudges and hate, I mean at one point I was quite intimate with him, so for it to be like it is I just can't have it that way. Maybe I'm too much of a people pleaser, but regardless I just would rather not let things stay ugly.

I spot Martin enter the cafeteria, and behind him his usual entourage. I wouldn't say our school is separated by cliques but the jocks do tend to hang more together, oh and popular students tend to do the same or are jocks themselves. Well not going to get into too much thought on that sort of thing, considering it doesn't affect me much. In the past though let's just say you would not dare catch Angel and I sitting together for lunch, even when we had the same lunch.

"You okay?"

The last thing I need is Angel thinking I'm overreacting or something, I shake my head no and surprisingly he doesn't press, getting back to eating his food. I settle my attention back on looking for Donnie but there's still no sign of him. Is he avoiding me?

Why am I always like this? It really shouldn't matter whether he's like this or not, but for some reason I have this thing where it bothers me if I lose a friend or someone close. Maybe I have this urge to be likeable, or perhaps I care too much.

"Hey…um…have you noticed Donnie's behavior toward me lately?" Can't hurt to get another opinion, even if I'm sure Angel would definitely prefer to not hear about my ex.

Simon shrugs, looking around the cafeteria briefly. "I don't know, he hasn't been that great to me either, but I have noticed."

"They broke up so he's not very much a factor, so not sure why you care." Angel snorts, head bowed, focused on his food.

I decide to try and ignore it; maybe I am possibly just over thinking things. It's most likely just Donnie being a dick to us all, just wish things could have ended better.

"Hey Angel," Simon calls, clearing his throat a bit and looking in the direction of the entrance briefly. "Your brother told me that you use to play bass, think you still can?

With a nod of his head, Angel's attention is on Simon now, who goes on. "I need a bass player for this upcoming battle of the bands showcase, you down?"

Sort of slipped my mind that Simon's in a band, he's the keyboardist if I remember correctly. Almost surprised that Angel hasn't gotten back with his own band actually, after the island anything instrument related he hasn't taken much interest in. I think I may have mentioned how good Angel was at playing the bass, drums and piano to Simon a few times to get them to bond more.

"I'm a little rusty to be honest." Angel says casually, tying his hair up into a ponytail. "When's the showcase anyway?"

"Next month." Simon replies nonchalantly, as if that's enough time.

Of course Angel takes the challenge and surprisingly starts conversing with Simon more on the subject. Not that he hates Simon and a few of the others, but he hardly opens up like he does with his own friends and me. But since we are pretty much a couple now, I've noticed he's been trying hard to be around my friends more. Still ever the jealous type though, don't think that will change even though it's clear, well I try to make it clear, that he has my heart.

I remember then about the kitten and let Angel know I'm going to check on him. Strangely on my way, in the hallway, I bump right Donnie. He gives me an annoyed expression and walks past but I grab his arm, stopping him. Guess I didn't have to wait after all might as well get to the bottom of this sudden aggression. Just a couple a days ago, this man wanted me and now he acts as if I don't exist. He couldn't possibly know about Angel and I, could he?

"Hey been looking for you, want to know what your problem with me is."

He shakes his arm free of hold, rolling his eyes. "You think everything is about you, we broke up, and I get it now so how about you go back to your little friends and slut brother and forget all about me."

There he goes again, bad mouthing Angel. There is clearly an issue but hey maybe he's right, letting it go could be easier. "Fine, but hey could you stop seeking every opportunity to be a dick with me and the others. We broke up, I get it but damn it doesn't mean we can't be civil."

"Civil?" He hisses, eyes almost bulging. "I fucking loved you and come to find out you're already moved on, how fucked up is that?"

"Love? Really Donnie, I was a fuck buddy to you or else you wouldn't have felt the need to do things the way you did."

He laughs maniacally, stepping slightly closer to me. "If that's how you saw it then you're really a piece of shit. You walk around here Payton, acting all innocent but you know you don't care about anyone else's feelings but your own. You used me, you obviously had some deep fucking rooted sexual feelings for Martin and of course I was your experiment."

How does he know I use to like Martin? I'm not sure if I slipped and told him but I don't recall. Besides not a lot even know of my infatuation with Martin, well former infatuation. Or perhaps I didn't hide it well enough before. I open my mouth, possibly to defend myself or deny what he's saying but nothing comes out and this gets him laughing again, looking around and pulling me into this empty classroom.

"You know I actually have a few things to get off my chest, since this was told to me and I feel like why the hell not let your ass know about it. Apparently I'm not sure what happened with you two but your little crush is actually crushing back on you."

My confused look must amuse him to the extreme since he's laughing again, but then he's glaring back at me. "Don't you get it Payton, Martin's glad I'm not with you anymore because he wants you for himself."

Lies, clearly he's lying and I refuse to believe anything he says. Martin is straight and even if he was curious I can't risk our friendship or my new relationship to even test it. I can't risk things, even if he was my biggest crush.

"Stop spewing lies and just get over what we had Donnie, you had fun, I had fun but we clearly aren't compatible." I pause, taking a deep breath. "We can still be friends Donnie; I want to be your friend still."

He smirks suddenly, stepping up closer to me. "How bout' you focus on your precious friend Martin, wonder what your brother will think."

Angel? Why does he care what he thinks?

"Your brother really has a brother complex doesn't he?"

Before I can stop myself my hand comes across Donnie's face, his reaction just as shocked as mine. I step back about to apologize to him, but in a flash I'm on the floor, Donnie over me. "I see I struck a chord."

I try and push him off but he hardly budges so I hit him again in the face. He falls back and I for some reason feel compelled to hit him again and I do. "Don't say shit about my brother, leave him out or I swear I'll fuck you up more."

He slowly gets up to his feet, wipes at his bleeding lip and returns the glare I'm giving. "Fuck you and him; I was a fool for even getting with you."

I decide to just stop this and leave, there's no point in continuing this with him. He's bitter, I'm not and I'd rather avoid fighting if I can. But as I turn to leave, Donnie decides to tackle me again to the floor. My hip hits a desk on the way down, the pain searing, then comes the barrage of punches. He's definitely not holding back, so I end up feebly trying to cover my face, then his hands wrap around my throat.

This is definitely not how I wanted things to end up, I hate him so much. I am by no means a violent person and besides from Angel have actually never gotten into a fist fight. Donnie and I are pretty much the same size but he has a lot more muscle than me, doesn't stop me from trying though to get his ass off me.

Can't breathe and calling for help seems pretty impossible but I still try. At one point I even try and knee him in the groin but the way he is makes it difficult to do so. Almost seems like he would want to kill me, ignoring my gagging and tightening his hold.

I somehow manage to give him enough blows to the side of his head to let go of my neck. I hear a noise overhead, but too focused on gasping for air, trying to recover. He tries to get back on me but I push him hard with all the strength I can muster and go for the door.

Once out of the room I just run, not stopping for nothing or looking back. I just keep on running, and running, even right out of the school. I don't know why that happened but it hurts, it hurts a lot because I was close with him. Did I really hurt him that much to the point he could do all that? Was he telling the truth about Martin? I don't even know why I should care but it would explain a lot of Martin's recent behavior.

Will he come to hate me too?


Not sure what time it is, but my whole body is sore and my eyes can't shed another tear even if I forced it. So I pretty much ran all the way to this park and have been sitting on one of the benches. My phone has pretty much been going off constantly but I don't bother with answering it, I don't want to worry Angel but he will no doubt get very upset and I don't want to see that either.

I've mainly been thinking about Martin and I, our friendship, how it means a lot to me than pursuing something that would just end up hurting Angel. One would look at the Martin thing as a lesser evil, but I'm too far gone with Angel. I love him and we have come so far, even if Donnie was telling the truth, anything with Martin will have to never be.

Maybe my tears were for that, not sure but I cried a lot and I feel like utter shit. Just want to go home and seek comfort from Angel. I know my head is all wrapped up in all this but I just want to follow my heart.

I mean I've had some time to think things over, analyze what happened with Donnie and again I know I like my life as it is.

I get up from the bench, the cold air suddenly getting to me, stinging at the wounds on my face. I must look like shit by the way, feels like I took most of that beating and hardly dished anything out. Donnie's dead to me, forget how much I've hurt him, I tried, I really tried to make things right.

At that moment my phone rings again, thankfully since it's close to dying. I answer after seeing Angel's name pop up on the screen. "Hey."

"Where the fuck are you? No one has seen you after you left lunch, I'm over here driving everywhere looking for you."

Of course I've worried him. I hate when I do.

I walk to where the street is and look up at the signs, telling him the street names, my voice cracking. "Payton what happened? What's wrong?"

Surprisingly it seems I'm not out of tears, my eyes aching as they fill them. "Uh…you were right, I was a fool. Hey um…just hurry and get here, I want…to go home."

"Are you okay?" His voice is practically dripping with concern, it pains me to have to worry him like this but all the more he's the only one I want to see.

"I'm okay, now that I hear your voice." I let out a long sigh, more tears coming. "I love you Angel."

With that I end the call and simply wait, deep in thoughts. The park is unusually quiet, sun's pretty much almost set but it's just the sounds of the wind. I remember then that Blair and Claire said they would be on our side of town today. I really want to hang with them but after today not too sure that will be happening.

Twenty long minutes later, the familiar vehicle pulls up to the park gates. I'm back on the bench again but made sure to be in view of the parking lot. I meet him halfway and of course he freaks when he sees my face, going into rage mode quick.

"Who the fuck did this to you?" He hands touch lightly at my face and I merely shrug them away.

"Let's just go home, I'm tired."

His eyes stare at me, not sure if he will just let this go but the odds are unlikely. "Payton who did this to you? Tell me right now because I'm not going to stop asking."

I snatch the keys from him and make my way to the car. He follows closely behind and once in the car continues asking, clearly pissed off. "Angel just stop, it's not important anymore."

Almost immediately I turn the heater on, trying to heat myself up. My knuckles are almost swollen and so is my cheek, I'm almost too afraid to look in the mirror at myself.

"I bet it's that mother-fucker Donnie, I swear I will kill him."

I groan loudly, Angel seems to only be getting more pissed off. "We fought okay, that's that, I'm not some damsel Ang. I can actually take care of myself."

Angel stares at me, still pissed, maybe more. Can't really tell with him but it's pretty bad. "I don't give a flying fuck Payton, you're mine and I refuse to let that fucktard think he's gotten away with it. I'm going to fuck him up and I don't give a shit if you don't want me to because it's not between me and him."

He then snatches the keys from me. "I'm driving."

"You're not."

I don't want this, he will no doubt go to Donnie's house and this won't end well. More trouble isn't good for either of us but once Angel's in his mode he's gone. I'm compelled to him though, without even thinking about it I kiss his lips. I feel him struggle against me, trying to resist but I put my whole weight against him. I know he's mad right now but I just want to forget it all and love him, right now that's all that matters really.

He pushes against me but then relaxes a little, allowing my tongue to enter into his mouth. I snake my arms around his neck and before I know it I'm straddling him in the passenger seat. His hands grip my waist, lips kissing me back just as passionately, lost just as I am in the moment.

I press my member against his, the feel of the denim almost painful so I release myself through the zipper, doing the same for him. He bulks slightly at the feel of my hand around his shaft and breaks the kiss, gazing into my eyes.

"Payton if you think this is going to make me drop the subject, you're wrong."

I look him over, running my hand along the head of his penis. "I just want you, no hidden agenda."

"But right now?"

It's then that I remember we're still parked in the park, luckily I got tint put on this vehicle last month but I get his point. I don't care though, something that's totally unlike me I get it but I just want him right now, need this. I will never doubt anything between us and I want this to work no matter how wrong it is.

After I nod slowly he lets out a sigh, pushing my hand off him. "How can you expect me to control myself if you don't? What if we're caught; do you not care anymore?"

"I don't." I admit, unashamed, even as his eyes widen by my confession.

He pulls me into his lips by the back of my neck and once again our tongues are wrestling once again. I reach on the side of the seat to pull the lever, forcing the seat back more to get more comfortable on his lap. I know it's dangerous but right now my mind is only consumed with love for him, I need him and just don't give a damn what happens.

Somehow he matches my need and we're grinding against each other, sweaty and still lip locked. With my hand I continue to rub us together, the sensations are almost mind numbing and as much as I try, little cries escape me.

I rise up a little and slip my pants and boxers down to my knees, awkwardly nonetheless but I don't care, too into the moment right now. He switches off the heater, takes his shirt off, and pulls away to look me over. "I never want to lose you."

His words get me thinking for a minute and I can honestly say he has nothing to be afraid of, I may have resisted at first but there's no fighting this. I love him, more than a brother and the moment I admitted that truth, I became prepared to take on whatever. If we have to hide our relationship forever I'd be perfectly content. I'm in love with Angel, my brother, my twin.

I kiss him again then get his wallet, searching till I find what I'm looking for. I tear the small package open while Angel gets to working my behind with his fingers and some lube, which I'm guessing he carries on him for this very occasion.

Not long, as usual, before I'm a needy mess and breathlessly begging to be fucked. His gentle nature however disappears and he slams his hard cock into me, shaking my very nature. I want this though; I crave it and don't care how he gives it to me. To avoid screaming I start biting down on my shirt, also to move it out of the way so as to avoid staining it.

I ignore the pain and get to moving my hips slowly, holding tightly onto his shoulders in the cramped space. It's always painful at first but I know that it won't last long and soon I'll be drowning in the pleasures. I love being fucked by him, being possessed by his strength and just knowing I'm his. Maybe, initially this is what I was running from, scared that I'd get so caught up as I am now that I'm not even being logical.

I tilt my head back and increase my speed once my body has adjusted to the fill. The sound of raindrops cascading down drowns out some of my muffles, as well as the howling wind. Due to the position it's uncomfortable and my rhythm is all over the place but that doesn't seem to turn off Angel, he takes over however, gripping my hips and screwing me as he pleases.

It's like my whole body is on fire, sensitive all over so even just the slightest touch sends me trembling. The unmistakable sensations are consuming me relentlessly as that one place in my body is being touched so much by his penis. Feels like I can melt at any moment from it all and of course it's not long before another familiar feeling takes over, the pressure too much to hold back.

I rise off his member, grab my own and with three quick strokes cum all over his stomach. He doesn't let me rest though, and yanks me back down onto him. He sits up and suddenly there's the feel of his tongue licking along my neck, biting me at one point. Without meaning to I open my eyes and sure enough his grays are staring back into my own. He smirks, grips my ass and with his other hand wipes at the damp hair that's plastered to my forehead. I kiss his lips again, wishing I could savor the moment since kissing him is everything.

He lets out a groan against my mouth, clutching me almost painfully as he continues bouncing me on his member. No longer am I containing my moans and I just unleash them, the constant stimulations of my prostate feel as if I can faint.

Through the sounds of the rain, my moaning, Angel and our love making I hear the ringtone that has to be his phone. He makes no indication of hearing it and just continues inside me, harder and harder. I'm surprised he's able to manage with this uncomfortable position but he does. With a quick shudder and a final hard thrust he cums into me.

I watch him collapse back, the two of us both out of breath. I tiredly climb over to the driver seat and recline it back a bit, exhausted and sore all over which is from both the fight and now.

Definitely a storm going on and no doubt our parents are of course worried about us; also maybe our cousins who I'm sure are thinking we flaked on them. I turn onto my side to look over at Angel, obviously tired. I don't think he'll forget what I didn't want to tell him and it's possible he'll just bring it up later. I hope not. I feel like I handled my situation, like how much can Donnie fight me before he just accepts things. As for the Martin part I'm just going to choose to forget that, refuse to even bring it up to Angel. He's tough but he will no doubt feel threatened if it's true and won't want me hanging out with Martin anymore. I don't want to lose my friend, will just pretend Donnie never told me anything.

"You okay?"

I look to him and simply nod my head, wishing to suddenly just fall asleep into his arms. He sits up after a few minutes and gets dressed, fixing himself. I watch him toss the soiled condom on the floor and then holds out his hand. "I'm driving."

I reluctantly hand him the keys, then get dressed myself and after we switch places, we're on our way home. When we walk in through the garage, mom and dad are cuddled up in the living room watching a movie. They pause it to acknowledge us, almost forgot that dad had more he wanted to talk about on the whole camping trip.

"Did you boys get caught up in the storm?" Mom asks concerned, sitting up from underneath dad's arm. "We figured you guys waited it out at school."

"Yeah, it was best to wait." Angel answers quickly, running a hand through his hair.

"Well I checked the forecasts for our camping trip and it seems to be great." Dad must have had plans to go camping for awhile because he seems majorly excited. I mean I don't dread it since it will bring them closer but Angel and I will have to definitely be extra careful. I'd like to think we'll be fine but not sure if I can handle myself.

"Payton what happened to your face." Mom interrupts dad, switching on the lamp and going bug eyed. "Oh my goodness, did you boys get into a fight again?"

"No mother, we don't fight anymore." I find myself putting a little edge to my voice then sigh when she actually gets up and starts examining my face.

"Who the hell did this?"

Without even looking I can feel Angel's eyes on me, makes me nervous. Dad now also joins in, looking me over and I suddenly end up hoping there's no sex marks from our steamy car session earlier. "I got into a fight at school, no big deal."

I shrug mom's hands off; she of course doesn't drop it even though dad isn't as concerned. "I sure hope the other kid looks a lot worse." He chuckles lightly, folding his arms across his chest.

Mom glares at dad and heads towards the bathroom. "This isn't funny Charlie; I'm calling the school first thing in the morning."

I take a seat on the arm of the loveseat, trying to keep calm and not explode. "I'm fine."

Mom storms back into the living room, first aid box in her hands. Dad takes a seat back on the couch, still amused but that's how he usually is about this sort of thing. Angel just stands by my side, not saying anything but I know he's still looking at me.

After cleaning all my wounds and bandaging them, my mother gets me an ice pack to hold on all the areas that will no doubt swell up. "I'm going up that school tomorrow and have a talk with the principal."

"Jesus Christ Beth he got in one fight and you act like the world is going to end."

I apply the ice pack to my lip, hoping they aren't about to start a fight on this. "Dad's right mom, I handled myself and it's over."

The stinging from my hips reminds me that I need to lie down and also that I'm in need of a shower. I want to wrap up in Angel's arms and sleep off all this, so freaking tired right now and mom's making this a whole lot worse.

"Payton, are you even gonna tell us who did this?"

"I don't know him." I lie sheepishly, slipping from the couch and hoping to make my way upstairs. "It happened pretty fast and again it's over so no need to make this into something."

Mom's about to say something else, clearly not done with the subject when Angel interjects, gripping shoulders from behind and steering me towards the stairs. "I think what Pay here needs is sleep, night guys."

"Beth let them go, kid's obviously exhausted."

Mom sighs and goes back and sits down with dad, obviously not over the subject. "We'll talk about this in the morning then, goodnight boys."

We both head up to the room and once behind the closed door Angel barrages into his own questions. "So you finally gonna at least tell me why you and Donnie fought?"

I gather some clothes from the dresser and toss him some. "Angel I really am tired, let's take a shower together while mom and dad are downstairs and I promise you I'll tell you everything in the morning."

Thankfully he agrees and we take a quick shower together, mostly spent washing each other and that wonderful moment when Angel just held me from behind. It really is like he takes away all my worries and right now I completely need that. Our kitten Chase luckily got him from my locker and bought him to our house, where he is now up in our room asleep after having eaten a bit.

That night, later when mom and dad have gone to bed, he embraces me for a second time. This time we are of course more quiet and it's ever so gently. I actually get emotional and end up crying, guess more of the crap getting to me. He ended up not pressing me for information, instead he kisses my tears away and we afterwards fall asleep into each other's arms.

I wake up hours later, a lot on my mind but I think the thing that is really bothering me is not being open to Angel about exactly what Donnie confessed to me about Martin. I don't even actually want to know if it's true, that ship has sailed and isn't coming back. I don't want any confliction, this may all be new to me but I know that Martin thing will only complicate things. I've already accepted what my relationship with Angel is and even with the secrecy I'm content.

Angel's sleeping soundly, the sheet draped only over his leg, exposing his naked body. I gaze at everything in the moonlight, mentally remembering every contour, shape of it all. He is simply beautiful, inside and out and here I am causing him all this worry.

I lay down on his chest, which awakes him, his sleepy eyes gazing into my own and he smiles a little. I kiss him longingly, pulling the sheets up over us.


I nod slowly, straddling him. "Just promise me you'll always love me Angel, always and forever."

Without a moment's hesitation he smiles again and kisses my lips. "I will always love you Payton, always and forever."

Hopefully with that vow it will be true, but there's a nagging feeling within me that just feels as if our love will be tested, I mean what exactly do I expect?