The Nova War: An account of the first war in space

It's a cold March day in 2193. Government officials are convening for the trial of govHackr365, a.k.a. Perry Vanderbilt, professional hacker. Perry has figured out how to shut down all of the world's communications, and has tried it out on The United Kingdom. There is now no electricity going through London or Liverpool.

Perry's attorney, Casper Nueman, is preparing his defense. The jury is silent as the judge enters, followed by Samuel Onwich, the President of the United States. Onwich is attempting to speak for the United States, Russia, China, and South Africa, which are all of the most prosperous countries in the world.

Onwich is unguarded, and is carrying no firearms. He sits down and looks solemnly up at the judge, who is settling herself in the chair. The jury stands up, and the judge does the same. She bangs her gavel, and everyone is silent and seated once more. Let the trial begin.

"Mr. Onwich, I hear that you have come to represent the Great Five."

"Four now, your honor. Yes."

"And Mr. Nueman, you are here to defend Mr. Vanderbilt?"

"Yes, your honor."

"Very well then. President Onwich, present your case."

"Of course. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, Perry Vanderbilt is a hacker. He has tapped into the government's security system and shut it down. That in itself is a felony—"

"I object!" Casper Nueman rises from his seat.


Casper sighs and sits down again. He shuffles papers inattentively as Onwich continues.

"A class D felony, to be exact. Since the Security Act of 2075, we should all know, all government enterprises have been safe under law. It's a hundred-year-old law, and Vanderbilt is trying to break it. You have seen what has happened to the UK. This man is not to be trusted outside of prison!"

"Very well, Mr. President. Is that all?"

"Yes, your honor."

"Okay, Mr. Nueman. Present your case."

"Thank you, Justice," says Nueman. The judge rolls her eyes. "Perry Vanderbilt, my client, is deeply, deeply, outraged at these atrocious accusations! He is but a simple man, and has a simple goal. To live a fulfilled and wonderful life! Don't we all? Now, my client, Mr. Perry John Vanderbilt, will present a paper he has written on his own."

"Very well. Mr. Vanderbilt?"

"Um, yeah, so…I, Perry Vanderbilt, am not insane…nor…ah, what the heck! Yeah, I did it! So what! I'm just trying to save the world! We're dying, people! The world isn't going to last forever like this! We. Are. Dying!"


"Yes, Mr. President?"

"He is not saving the world, he is destroying it! We are not dying! We are prospering, infinitely!"

"Yeah, uh, Judgy, I got an objection."

"Once again overruled, Casper."

Casper Nueman sits, now uninterested in the trial. But Perry Vanderbilt still stands, ignoring the Judge's numerous requests to be seated.

"Okay," he finally says, "I'll sit. But be forewarned, you put me in jail, I'll go. But when the world's farms won't support you anymore, and you need to reset the world, I'm not going to help you. You're probably going to take my license anyway. Have fun dying. Them prisons are going to hold up for a while now. Just saying." He sits down.

The jury look confused now. Before, they had nodded their agreement with the president. Now they just look uncertain. Vanderbilt's speech has shaken them. Even the Judge is looking lost.

"No, you cannot agree with the bastard! He has destroyed one of the Great Five! Does that mean nothing to you?" President Onwich is outraged.

"Jury?" The judge asks.

The jury is silent for a second, whispering amongst themselves. Everyone is on their toes, waiting for the Jury to come to an agreement. Finally a man named Andrew Finster stands.

"We, the jury, have come to a completely unanimous vote. We find the defendant, Perry Vanderbilt…"

Casper Nueman takes in a deep breath. This has been his first client ever to defend his own case. How will it turn out?

"…not guilty!"

Nueman laughs and hugs Vanderbilt, who has a smug smile on his face. The Judge smirks slightly. But Onwich is slowly growing a complexion of anger.

"How did you do it, bastard? You dirty asshole! How the hell did you do it? You bastard…" Onwich's face is turning bright red.

"Can someone get this man out of here?" the Judge calls out. Two large men enter out of a side door labeled 'Security.' They each gently take Onwich by the arm.

"Get off of me, you assholes! I request a retrial! This man is guilty! He is the reason we're all going to die! It's his entire fault, the bastard! Get off of me!"

The Security guards have no struggle holding the president back. The trial ends as Onwich is carried out the door. The moment he leaves, Nueman hugs Vanderbilt once more. Perry holds the peace sign up to the courtroom. Everyone laughs.

End of the trial of Perry Vanderbilt, Professional Hacker