"Coming! Who's there?" my aunt Lucy asked when she opened the door. "Jen? Why are you here?" she asked, surprised when she found me standing in front of her with my luggage. She looked at me and realised that I was crying. She invited me in while trying to calm me.
My uncle James came out of his bedroom to see what's happening after he heard a commotion in the living room. He joined in too and with the help of Uncle James, Aunt Lucy finally had me calm down.
"I am sorry to bother you especially at this time, Uncle James and Aunt Lucy. Can I …"I paused for a while, hesitant to go on but I decided it was now or never so I continued. "Aunt Lucy, I know it's weird but can I live here?"
"Sure you can Jen. You are always welcome here. Now tell us what's happen. Tell us please. We are your Uncle James and Aunt Lucy. We have the rights to know what's happen." Aunt Lucy begged.
"Why? Why does Alicia get everything? This is so unfair! Why does she get everything that I yearn for and will never get even though it should be mine? Why?" I wailed.
Aunt Lucy began to comfort me and begged me to tell me what had happened. Uncle James demanded to know what had happened. I didn't reply and kept crying. But after several pleas and demands, I finally told them.
"Mother, can I go to summer camp with my friends please? It only cost 100 dollars after subsidy. So can I go please?" I asked my mother.
"No, you can't." she said firmly.
"Why?" I asked mother. Since I can't go, at least I know the reason why.
"Because it's too expensive. Look, Jennifer. I know you want to go to that summer camp very badly but I am not made of money, you know. And it's hard to raise up two kids alone with no help or what so ever." She replied. I sighed and go out of her bedroom.
But just when I was about to go out of her bedroom, Alicia rushed in. she asked mother whether she could go to a rock concert with her friends and she needed 200 dollars for it. Mother agreed and gave her 200 dollars in cash. Alicia smirked when she walked past me. Wait! Her rock concert trip cost 200 dollars and my summer camp cost 100 dollars so it means that her rock concert trip cost 100 dollars more than my summer camp. So if I can't go because of the cost, she can't go to the concert too but why can she go and I can't?
"Mother, why do you let her go and not let me go?" I asked. She opened her mouth but I beat her to it. "Don't say it's because it's expensive. Since it's expensive, so why do you let Alicia go to that rock concert which is 100 dollars more? Why?" I asked even though I had a feeling that she would say something I wouldn't hear.
She was speechless at first and the atmosphere of the room became very tense. Finally, she said, "Because you don't deserve it! You don't deserve to go to that summer camp! Let me tell you something, Jen. I loathe you ever since you were born. So I give you a name that I detest the most, Jennifer."
I was too shocked to do anything or say anything for that matter. Then, anger and hurt took over me. "Don't call me Jen! You have no right to call me Jen!" I screamed at her. I was on the verge of crying but I fought back.
"How dare you talk to me in this manner! I am your mother!" she yelled.
"Mother? Yeah right. Since when did you treat me like your daughter? You treat your beloved Alicia like a princess and what am I to you? A servant to serve you?" I snapped at you.
The next thing I knew, she slapped me hard. "Don't think too much of yourself. You are nothing but a complete failure. A complete failure that I shouldn't produced. Look at you, you are nothing like Alicia. You are not beautiful, talented and gifted." She sneered.
I am used to her harsh comments and didn't cry even though it hurt me a little. But this time is different. This time, I am totally stung by her harsh and cruel words and tears started rolling down my cheeks. Thinking back on the years I spent studying so that I will get straight A's every year or the years I spent training myself so that I can bring home medals, I realised how naive I was, thinking that by doing this, mother would praise me and give me the smile that she gave to no one but Alicia. I was such a fool and so naive.
"So I guess in the end, no matter how much I try, I will always be the failure in your eyes, huh?" I said in a calm and quiet voice. I wiped away all my tears before I continued, "you know what, it's doesn't matter any more. I have had enough of your harsh comments. I am tired of this place called home and I am done living my life for you so I am leaving. Don't expect me to come back again cause I won't." and just before I left her bedroom, I said, "Oh and by the way, the feeling is mutual."
I went to my bedroom and packed my bags. Within minutes, I was done because I don't have a lot of things I need to pack anyway. I opened the front door and without looking back, I slammed the door hard.
Five years have passed and I am still living with my Aunt Lucy and Uncle James. Happily. As for mother and Alicia, I have no idea how are doing. I have no idea why but whenever I think about this, this song would get stuck in my mind.
In the dark with the music on
Wishing I was somewhere else
Taking all your anger out on me, somebody help
I would rather rot alone
Than spend a minute with you
I'm gone, I'm gone
And you can't stop me from falling apart
'Cause my self-destruction is all your fault
How could you, how could you, how could you hate me?
When all I ever wanted to be with you?
How could you, how could you, how could you love me?
When all you ever gave me were open wounds?
Downstairs the enemy sleeps
Leaving the TV on
Watching all the dreams we had turn into static
Doesn't matter what I do
Nothing's gonna change
I'm never good enough
And you can't stop me from falling apart
'Cause my self-destruction is all your fault
How could you, how could you, how could you hate me?
When all I ever wanted to be with you?
How could you, how could you, how could you love me?
When all you ever gave me were open wounds?
Tell me why you broke me down and betrayed my trust in you You can't stop me from falling apart
I'm not giving up, giving in
when will this war end?
When will it end?
You can't stop me from falling apart
You can't stop me from falling apart
'Cause my self-destruction is all your fault.
How could you, how could you, how could you hate me?
When all I ever wanted to be with you?
How could you, how could you, how could you love me?
When all you ever gave me were open wounds?
How could you, how could you, how could you, how could you?
All I ever wanted to be with you
All you ever gave me were open wounds
And you know what? It suits me just fine. After all,that's what I am to her.