Chapter Six

--August 2, 2099 (Sunday)

"I know that perhaps, this question may be insignificant, since you are a doll, but…I can't even think about how you would've liked me if you were really human, not a doll," I whispered softly as I trailed a fingertip against one of my smooth cheeks, and saw my reflection on the mirror do the same.

"Interesting question," Hori drawled. "Especially when it comes from someone like you."

I whirled around, irked, and faced the raven-haired doll spread all over my divan. "You have your programming! Of course, it would prompt you to think what you're supposed to think. Even if I was the ugliest being on the face of the Earth, since you're a doll, you'll think what you're being programmed to think." I huffed, and looked down at the carpet dejectedly. "I wonder why I even ask you these things when I know what your answers will be," I muttered dejectedly. Of course, as I said, people had told me before that I didn't look half-bad, which is saying something, but it's not like I'm believing them.

I gasped when I was suddenly, unceremoniously, yanked off my chair with the said chair being kicked harshly to the wall. I was then whirled around to face the full-length mirror in front of me, with Hori's arms trapping me to the length of his body behind. Then he cupped my chin and firmly made me look at my reflection at the mirror.

I had to look away at the sudden surge of insecurity by the time I gazed at both of our reflections. Hori was so beautiful, so strikingly different when side by side with me. I was a mere peasant compared to his nobility. Ironic isn't it? Because I was the master, and he is the doll. Isn't it supposed to be the other way?

But then, wasn't that the reason why some people acquire dolls? Because they are so ugly or pathetic, no other human would dare give a second look at them. Am I one of those? In a sense, I was only buying out love. A reason why I can't keep this going, why I can't do this. I can't give in. Because I know deep in my heart, however this love can be real, it can never be real real. For the love of god, it isn't even permanent. Not at all.

I was ripped out of my musings when I was forced to face the mirror again.

"Hori," I protested as I weakly tried to resist his hold. "Please let go of me."

"Nuh ah, I can't do that. Not while you're like this. This must be addressed now, because I can't believe you're really thinking of yourself that way. I haven't known before, because you never tell me anything. But now that you're trying to open up to me, at least let me help you, heal you somehow. I will not ask what made you like this. You can tell me at your own time, but I want so badly to make you realize that you're beautiful, beautiful even if I'm using a doll's perception of beauty."

I stiffened, my eyes widening perceptively, and I can see the scared look I was having on my reflection. What was I afraid of anyway?

"Hori…" I protested weakly.

The doll kept his silence as he contemplated on where to start with his explanation. Dimly, I, too, concentrated on the reflection, but I was more intent on worshipping the doll's every perfect feature. I was right. He was taller than me by an inch or so, and he was daintier, more perfect out of that glass case like this. He was so alive and breathing, and I can't believe I've shared intimate moments with this man, whereas I was plain and homely. Utterly undesirable as a creature.

I yelped lightly when Hori pinched my cheek.

"Stop thinking like that," he growled. "You're starting to irk me real good. Don't you know you're insulting me every time you think you're undesirable? Are you saying that I have no particular taste at all when it comes to beauty? How dare you."

I swallowed thickly as his arms tightened around me.

"Look at that face. It is perfection to me."

"It is not. I'm ugly," I protested weakly.

"That's it. From now on, any of your views will not be accepted. Keep your silence and let me talk, damn it," he said, eyes visibly glowing in determination even from the reflection.

"You've got the cutest nose ever," he started.

"It's a little too small for my face, isn't it?"

The doll glared at our reflection, and gave a disgruntled noise. "You've got the most delicate cheekbones that I have ever seen."

"Nope, haven't noticed that. Anyway, you really can't judge anything because you've seen limited numbers of people," I countered stubbornly.

"Lucian," Hori warned, his arm tightening around my midsection, and his eyes melting again into that breathtaking amber color as annoyance flashed in their depths.

"You're eyes are of the most beautiful color I have ever seen."

"Uh, they're like moss green…" I supplied weakly.

"Shut up! No they're not. Do you even see how you're eyes look like amidst passion? I bet not. They glint like emeralds in the sun, so vibrant green, so alive, so full of emotion. Your pupils go large, and your long lashes flutter softly in desire, as the almond-shape of your eyes grow yet larger, wider. That's probably the only time I see your eyes so alive, when most of the time they look dead. That's why I always wanted you to feel that way, so that those eyes could come alive. I wish you to be that way, and if that's the only way I could make it, I would."

"Hori.."

"Shut up! I told you, your views would not matter from now on."

I could only gape at Hori's reflection. So I just kept my silence, and let the doll do what he wanted, even though I knew it would be useless.

"Lucian," his voice was suddenly hoarse with emotion from behind. "Do you want me to show you what I meant?"

But I only kept my silence, and he took that as a yes. To be truthful, I was at a loss whether to let him or not. Somehow, this was a threat to the existence of my defenses, but I was equally curious to see what he was talking about. I was getting nervous though, on what he would do, and it manifested on my body's tensing yet again.

"Relax, I will not go beyond your limits. My goal is to make you comfortable, comfortable to let go even only for a while. That way, I can show you how you transform yourself into that perfect being always etched in my mind. The being I will always want, and love, not because he is beautiful to look at the first time, but because he hides his perfection only to the one who has the key. In a way, I feel so special because of this."

Then his hands started to move. The one gripping my waist started trailing down my side, up and down, then slipping underneath my shirt slowly, to touch sensitive places that had been remembered under there, leaving legions of goose bumps along their wake. The other hand cupping my chin was grasping my cheek softly, brushing brown locks away from my face, then trailing down to my neck, fingertips brushing against my skin so softly that it made me shiver with the suppressed need hidden in them. Then, that hand went back to my chin to guide my head to the sides so that my lips could receive Hori's own.

I moaned involuntarily under the sweet, slow assault of his soft, warm lips. I practically melted against his chest when he stated parting my lips to get through into the cavern of my mouth, his tongue flicking delicately at my canines, then on my palate, stroking sensitive areas there, then finally dragging my tongue into his own mouth so that he could suck softly on it. I was quickly becoming so breathless under this kind of assault. It was so slow and so soft that it almost seemed slow torture.

Then I was jerked back up from Hori's chest when his other hand found a nipple. I was panting, writhing. I don't know why I was still standing at that moment. He knew perfectly where to touch me, how soft, how firm, how long, and in what way. I gripped the back of his head to pull at his soft raven hair firmly in warning. He persisted still, until for a few more moments, then he released my mouth. I was panting hard, wide-eyed, still arching under the assault of his other hand, and here he was, smirking so smugly. He was driving me mad with desire when I know I was supposed to reject these emotions.

"Hmm, so beautiful. So perfect," he murmured as I let out a particularly loud groan when he pinched my nipple rather hard.

Then, his hands were gone as if they were never there. It made me drop down on my knees weakly, my shaking hands supporting me up. I was still panting harshly, my chest heaving from the lack of air, and amazingly, lack of attention.

"Look at the mirror now, Lucian, and tell me what do you see," Hori whispered, not moving to help me up back on my feet.

I took a few moments to catch up with what he said, and raised my eyes up to gaze at my reflection on the mirror. What I saw took my breath away. It was impossible. This person, panting and flushed, wide-eyed with mouth slightly parting open, couldn't be possibly me. This person was a far cry from what I was.

This person, actually looked, and managed to stay…beautiful at whatever angle.

"Impossible," I voiced out my thoughts softly. I can't take my eyes off the mirror.

"Really? I don't believe that. See, I told you. Lucian, you are beautiful. Me being a doll does not have to do anything with that fact. You're just too blinded with your own thoughts and perceptions that you have difficulties seeing the truth underneath things."

Hori dropped down beside me and made me face him softly. "Believe me when I say you're beautiful, Lucian." With that, he dropped a small, fleeting kiss against my temple and left my room silently.

Another crack on my defenses managed to widen almost unnoticed.

God, what is happening to me?

--

For Kendra. And because kiki was telling me to. It's a short one, but it's crucial. I'm writing the next chapter longer, because the otehr dolls will be interacting more seriously now.