Casualty

The sky is gray,
This dying day,
Look around
No words can say...

I look upon this casualty,
The only thing I see,
Lying upon the dampened ground.
The fault of this was me.

I pulled the trigger on accident.
I had forgotten a sense of judgment...
Or lost my sense of aim...
And now my body drowns in resentment

What have I done?
In my hand is this gun,
In myself there is the blame,
I couldn't hide... And cannot run

The sky cries, and in the rain
I wonder, Where did my train
Of thought
Go? I feel so much disdain!

I was wrong, so wrong
I knew it all along...
I shouldn't have fought
What came to me in throngs...

I should have complied,
But instead I lied
To myself in false belief
That what my mind had to me supplied

Was not right, no, not right...
I went ahead and blurred my sight
And now with an extreme grief
I face a crimson light

That rests upon the ground
The body without any sound
This second passes so slow
As the crimson light will surround

This spirit, lying broken
Full of words never spoken...
To what was right I had said no
And this crushing pain is the token

Of appreciation I receive...
Why did I have to believe?
The vision that I saw was tilted.
It was tilted. It was Deceive.

I look again and then I turn --
A frightened fire within me burns...
Poor soul, a flower wilted
Thoughts within me churn.

I feel regret, such strong regret!
And now this sight I shall never forget
This image burned inside my mind
Forever -- This is what I get.

Time has passed now, this is all I know.
A calmer breeze in the direction blows
I follow it to, my surprise, find
That in that place, now flowers grow

Flowers grow upon the place
Gentle, pale colors with no trace --
I can't believe that it was here --
Of where I furthered my disgrace.

More time then goes by.
Harder each day I find I try,
As images again become clear,
To not ask myself, Why did the innocent have to die

At my evil hand?
I don't understand
But maybe someone else can tell
Me... As with reputations now I am brand.

I was wrong! I apologize!
I can't stand to see those peaceful eyes --
This pain fills me! I know this too well! --
That I had looked into with all these lies

That I had looked into in the past
That I had looked into, but in their last
Moment, that last instant
The peaceful look so did contrast

To what I knew. And now closed and dead
Are they -- I can't get it out of my head --
How did I find an ability to be distant
And watch as the innocent bled?

How did I tell my heart
To feel nothing as the innocent did depart
Right then and there? And when
Did I begin to start

To feel the regression
Of these feelings under such oppression?
It was right there and then
He lashed out -- Livid Depression.

And at the instant the innocent breathed no more
I felt Depression's cold eyes bore
Into the deepest inch of my soul.
And Deceive, she smiled, happier than before

The instant she could overpower
My will in that darkened hour!
Because of her I lost control --
Now what's left? Field of flower.

I remember the casualty.
The face of the innocent I again see.
The body lying on the ground...
The fault of it was me.