10:51: Kitchen.

Ninja Thief:

I stand leaning against the sink, my legs just too tired to hold their own. I stink of bar-b-que, and my shoulders slump in exhaustion. My eyes stare dully at the way the sponge makes circles go round-and-round against the dirty plate. I dip the sponge into the bucket, but instead come back up with mostly brown water dripping off onto the counter. I sigh, shifting from one leg to another. The silence makes it's way into my brain.

Thoughts are brought up. Doubts, of course, because you know I never exactly know what I want. I'm the most indesicive creature in this universe. I don't even have a favorite color.

So when his face pops up, of course I smile. Of course I'm going to reminisce. Of course that smile is going to fade in less than seven minutes because things are shitty now and he can't do anything about it. And then unknowest to me, this image pops up. Quick and sharp, but clear. Us standing in front of the zoo, our innocently cupped hands barely brushing against each other. Me, when I meant something to you, and you to me.

The thought is too painful so I shove it away quickly. Take a deep breath, because the place in the middle, my core, is aching and empty and it's not fair. This wonder facade, it was great while it lasted. And then,

then your face showed up, and now everything is ruined.

Because now I'll have to calm down, and focus focus focus.

Did you think that this was easy? It took practice, repitition, self-discipline. It took months to be able to think about you and then think about something else to fit your place. Baby this cat and mouse game we played broke me. I guess all I have to do is swerve around you, in general. Don't go near thoughts about you and we'll be okay.

Stop washing, and walk towards the bedroom, to ignore you for another another night and focus on other meaningless things.

My co-worker says I have trust issues.