at eleven: we threw up cancer in the public bathrooms
our hair held down by the rain & had fantasies about
drowning ourselves in the ice waters as winter kissed
goose bumps on our skin & mother made us a cup
of hot chocolate. when father was asleep we took the
key from under the sink and opened his alcohol
cabinet sipping away the cheap wine while dancing naked
to the hard rock music stripping our hearts down to the last
beat.

at fifteen: we sat in corner shops near the walmart,
listening to the coffee shop duets sing and play their
acoustic guitar with more poise then we ever could make. i
learned your last name and you learned that i was born
in newark. we knew little things, little things. on paper
napkins we exchanged phone numbers and riding the
public buses we talked through cheap wireless phones
about the old ladies & expiring poet boys that shed ink
like a second skin. words are like magic, you said, they
can make us and they can break us. (i choose the second.)

at eighteen: we lived in hospital with the machines pump-
ing our stomachs like a new trend and you taste like
thorazine. we smoked enough to die before we lived
and made our life off of the hollywood streetlights with
our clothes hanging to the corner of the dirty motel bed.
twenty dollars for a kiss, eighty for the night. we're called
lost cause(s) for a reason have you noticed, i have. give
me one night & i promise i can't stop loving you.

at twenty two: we used kerosene to light the engine &
it burned our skin like iron. scars are our second skin and
bruises are what we live by. we need the money and i
promise i can't stop thinking about you. i promise the
way you move is inspiration to those low wage poet boys
& girls, and me. when morning hits us like guns & head-
aches i drink tylenol and coffee while you cook me eggs &
ham with a side of salt and bitten flesh. i read the latest
newspaper articles circling car ads and you hum along the
tune of your ipod.

welcome home long lost sister, be a disaster with me.
i know your kiss taste like emptiness and i know i love you.