'and i'll do anything you ever dreamt to be complete.'
-Goo Goo Dolls


This is how I want to remember myself- the unstable, unsure, crazy, hopeful dreamer that I am. Maybe someday in the future, I would like to look back to when I was fifteen and sixteen and tell my kids about the teenager that their mother was.

Maybe one day in the future, I'll be sad and depressed and bleeding on the inside. Then remembering
might just make me a little hopeful.

Hold on to your past. I mean it.
However crap it was, however sad it makes you. However much it makes you take your head in your hands and cry till you feel raw.
Because, I'll promise you, those memories will help you get through a lot more.

Life is not going to be easy, there will more complications as you get older. Someone told me that she couldn't wait to become an adult. I think its because of the freedom.
But with that freedom comes the responsibilities, bills, money matters, marriage, kids and the subtle breaking of dreams.

We are born with possibilities that in time, we sew shut as we grow older. I would to tell you to never let go of the child's mind in you. Don't let the adult version take over. Adults see everything in black and white, which comes from being wise seeing that they've had their own faults.
Sure, if you want, go ahead and think like an adult. Make very little mistakes, don't do anything crazy, don't be wild.
You'll never face the embarrassment of doing something stupid.

But thats not going to be me, I will continue to make my mistakes and learn from them.
I am going to be fearless in my way of thinking, and I will never let go of the child in me.
And I'll never let go of the past.

(this is how i want to remember myself in the future.
this is exactly how.)