This is my curse

This is my curse.

The same curse that is my gift.

My words,

My jealousy for those who have you.

I love you but I can't be with you.

That's what kills me the most.

I can't stand the fact that someone else gets to have you.

I can't stand the fact that I'm so far away from you.

I can't stand the fact that I hurt everyone that I love.

What do I wish for?

I want someone to hate me as much as I hate myself.

I want to go into a sleep mode and hope that everything will be better.

I want me to be fixed.

I want this "great me" to go away.

It's worthless to have someone that I care for and then say things that hurt them.

I get so close and then push them away.

It's not worth loving if I do that.

The worst part…

I won't stop…

I get so jealous and then…

I have to stop myself.

I have to stop being myself and just…become Emmitt.

It's not the greatest thing but its better than being myself.

Become someone else and not know what it was like to hurt them.