Hiding in an elevator is a sure sign of insanity. I would think somebody was insane if I knew they were standing in an elevator just to hide from another person. But, I had a perfectly good reason to be hiding in the elevator.
Ok, I broke the copying machine. Again. But, if you knew my boss, you would understand. I was his secretary and he expected me to know how to use the machine. And I do know how to use it; it's just that I get a little distracted. And we all know that he is afraid of elevators, so I figured this would be the perfect place to hide.
It wasn't as perfect, however. I was in the elevator for a good twenty minutes and I was ready to pull my hair out due to boredom.
But eventually I had an idea. As I was standing next to a very nervous man, I started to think. Have you ever had one thought that led to another thought that led to another thought and eventually you were thinking of nothing related to the first thought.
Well, I was thinking about my boss and the copying machine. How was I supposed to explain this one to him? I could send him an e-mail. But then I remembered that I got thirty a day and if I checked my e-mail I would be compelled to answer them and then I would forget what I was originally planning on doing. That got annoying. Then I got back to thinking about my little brother. He was even more annoying. I suddenly wondered how annoying I got. I could be annoying. Like on that one e-mail I once got. It had a list of annoying things in an elevator.
That stopped me. I was bored out of my mind and the man next to me was really getting on my nerves. I quickly racked my brain, trying to remember exactly what was on that list of annoying things to do in an elevator. I finally remembered one that had I wanted to try when I read it. It was going to be perfect, especially since the man was already nervous. I had to bite my cheek to keep from smiling.
I casually reached up to scratch my head and happened to 'accidentally' knock my pen from my ear. It landed right between us and I pretended not to notice. Eventually, as we were nearing the man's floor, he bent down and picked it up.
"That's mine!" I suddenly yelled.
The man jumped so high, I almost started laughing right there. I managed to keep it down, but a smile broke loose. I hid it by picking up the pen he dropped. Right then we got to his floor and he ran out of there so fast, I wasn't sure whether to start laughing or feel bad. I decided to laugh.
The next people to get on were two floors down so I had a little time to collect myself; didn't want to scare them away before I had some real fun.
This time I decided to stare at a snotty looking woman with a goofy smile. She tried ignoring me, but I continued to stare at her. Finally her eyes snapped to my face and opened her mouth to say something.
"I got new socks on!" I announced before she could get a word out. She looked shocked for a second and then pressed the next floor's button. I think she got off faster than the nervous man did.
I heard a chuckle to my left and looked at the other passenger. He shook his head and slapped my back. "Nice job. I've been trying to scare her off for years."
I pretended to be confused. "Is she scared of socks?"
The man laughed and left as the doors opened. Before I knew what was happening, a big group of people walked in. At first I was a little disappointed, but then I realized that I could still have some fun.
One of the women pressed first floor and I looked at my watch. It was lunch time already. Cool.
We were about two floors down when I announced, "Group hug!"
A few people looked at me funny, but I grabbed the people closest to me. "Come on!" I pulled the people to others and wrapped my arms around them. One woman actually laughed and also put her arms around a few people. I smiled at her.
A few more people started to hug back and I was starting to think that I was going to get everybody in a hug when we stopped. I looked up to see a few startled people look in. "Group hug!" I shouted out to them. Most of them walked away shaking their heads, but one woman stood there with her jaw open.
What a boring name. I would hate to be named Leslie—wait, that is my name.
I let go of the few people who stayed in the hug. "Oh, hey Candy what's up?"
She stepped onto the elevator as the door closed. Candy worked on my floor. I wondered what she was doing on the floor above ours.
"Leslie, everybody's looking for you," she told me. "Somebody broke the copying machine again and Mr. Jones is blaming it on you."
I laughed and the doors opened again. Two more people entered. "Why do you think I'm in here?"
She gasped. "You mean you've been in here since your shift started?"
I shrugged. "I've found ways to keep myself busy."
She shook her head with a smile. "You are really something, Leslie."
I gave her my cheesiest smile as the elevator hit the first floor. Everybody on the lift left and I was thinking that I was going to be all alone when somebody slipped in right before the door closed. I hid my smile as best as I could as he hit the 6th floor button.
We started up the elevator without a word. When we hit the 3rd floor, I slowly reached over and tapped his shoulder. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him look to his right before looking at me. I pretended I didn't notice. He looked back at the door and I tapped his shoulder again. He looked at me first this time before looking at the numbers above the door. Two floors to go.
Once again I reached over and tapped his shoulder. His head swiveled around so fast, I was afraid he got whiplash.
"Will you stop that!" The man yelled.
I looked at him with an alarmed look. "Stop what?" I asked innocently.
The elevator doors opened and with a growl, the man walked away.
Without anyone getting on, the elevator started going down again. I waited patiently as it went back to the first floor and the doors opened to reveal a fat man and a not fat man. I recognized both men. The not fat man was Ryan, one of my co-workers that I've had a little crush on since I saw him. He smiled at me as he entered and my stomach fluttered a little.
The other man was Ronald Short, the boss of our boss. I knew him, but luckily he wouldn't know me.
"What floor, sir?" I asked.
"Twelfth," Short responded and stood back. I pressed button number two. He furrowed his eyebrows. "I said twelve."
"Oh, right," I said pressing eleven.
"Twelve has a one and a two," he said, a little angrily.
"But we don't have a floor twenty-one," I pointed out.
"I know that, you idiot!" He yelled.
"Hey, don't yell at the woman," Ryan said. "I'll get it."
He walked over to me and I was about to glare at him when he pressed the number six. That's when I smiled. He winked at me and stepped beside Short. "There, problem solved."
The elevator stopped at floor six and Short got off. "Who hired those morons?" I heard him mumble.
"I take it he didn't get the e-mail," Ryan said as soon as the doors closed.
I started laughing. "Thanks for not ruining my fun," I said sincerely.
Ryan shrugged. "No problem. As long as you let me stay and help you."
I grinned. "The more the merrier. So, do you happen to have a piece of paper and a pen?"
He grinned. "Yes, ma'am."
"Then let's get started."
Ryan and I just got done preparing when somebody got on. We were once again on the first floor, which was perfect.
Ryan held up the sign we made as a woman walked in. "Do you know why this was tapped to the door?"
I took it. "Out of order," I read. I shrugged and gave it back. "I have no idea."
The woman looked between us, a horrified look on her face. And then she was gone. Ryan and I laughed and the elevator went up.
"I have a great idea for what we should do next," he said, smiling mischievously.
I grinned. He looked hot with that smile. "What?"
"A couple making out."
I laughed a little at the thought of walking in on two people making out in the elevator. "Yeah, so who's going to do it?"
He smiled. "Well, us, of course.
My eyes widened. "Wait, you and me? Making out?"
He shrugged. "Who else?"
I shrugged and grinned. "I guess it won't hurt anyone."
"I sure hope not," Ryan said before putting his lips on mine.
The kiss started out hesitant and slow, mostly because we were testing each other out. But when I put my hand on the back of his neck and opened my mouth a little, it got a lot hotter in the elevator. I never knew anybody could kiss the way Ryan was kissing me then, and I didn't want anybody besides him to do it.
Just as it was really starting to get out of control, the elevator doors opened.
"Go Ryan!" somebody yelled.
I pulled away, my face completely red and looked at everybody that we worked with. Of course the doors would open to our floor.
"Ms. Wilson and Mr. Watson!" Mr. Jones yelled. "If you don't get off that elevator now, I will fire you both!"
"Sorry," Ryan said, pushing the 'close door' button, "but we're a little busy." And then he grabbed me and preceded to kiss me again.
There were wolf-whistles as the door closed and we started moving again. I didn't mind kissing Ryan so much, but then I realized,
"Oh, no, we're going to get fired!"
Ryan chuckled at the look on my face. "It was worth it to kiss you."
"What are we going to do?" I worried, not really hearing what he was saying. "I have rent to pay, cats to feed, a life to live!"
"Hey," Ryan said, grabbing my face and looking me in the eyes. "It'll be alright. I can just ask my cousin to let you be his secretary. He's in need of one, and you're pretty good, even if you're a bit crazy."
I thought about it for a second. I never liked Mr. Jones, anyways.
"Will there be an elevator?" I asked.
Ryan laughed and kissed me again. "Yes."
"What about you?" I asked.
"I'm sure my cousin could find a place to put me," he said. "I am his favorite cousin after all."
The elevator doors opened to the ground floor and I smiled at him. "Then it's settled. Let's have a little bit more fun before we go, shall we?"
"I like the way you think."
I didn't make up those ways to annoy people in an elevator. Go look it up, cause I'm not sure where they came from. I think I got it in an e-mail, but it was a while ago. You'll be able to find it somewhere on the internet.