Kay Bean checked his watch. "Shouldn't be long now," he told himself. The lunch bell had just rung and he was alone in the locker room. The lockers would remain empty of students for the next 45 minutes. That is except for him and his tormentors; Clint, Eric and B.J.. Calmly Kay strode over to the one mirror in the entire locker room to look at himself.
A short, pasty white, scarecrow of a teenager stared back. His glasses took up most of his face and his hair was plastered down to his scalp with about a bottle and a half of hair gel. A white dress shirt with thin blue stripes was tucked into a pair of pants that were too short. To make a long story short, he looked like a geek. Exactly his intention.
His plan was to make sure Clint, Eric and B.J. would beat him up. Or at least try to. He had to test his power. He had to —
"What are you wearing, freak?"
Kay spun around to come face to face with B.J.. Eric and Clint standing near by.
"Hey there, Tubby!" B.J. seemed taken aback by this comment, but soon became angry. After all, though B.J. was a little on the heavy side, it seemed rather mean spirited for Kay to call him "Tubby."
"What did you call me, punk?" B.J. said, moving a step closer. Eric and Clint moved in too, eager to see a live beating.
Just then Kay realized just how big these three boys were compared to him, and the fact that just one of their fists was easily the size of his head. Quickly shaking those thoughts out of his head, he pulled his cell phone out of his pocket.
"You callin' your mommy, Kay?" Eric taunted.
"No, actually I'm sending you a text." Kay muttered back focusing on his phone. A buzzing from Eric's pockets confirmed it. He fished out his phone and opened it. A confused look shot on his face.
"What is this?" Eric began to read the message aloud while Kay shuffled through his backpack. "Mecha-dolus shadera hevem jackon fellos heec-!" Eric suddenly found him self unable to talk or even move. B.J. and Clint watched him in horror as Eric froze up and his skin turned to a speckled gray color.
"What'd you do to him?" Clint squealed, breaking his usual menacing silence.
Kay pulled a piece of paper and pen out of his backpack before answering. "I turned him to stone, and for you, I'm thinking a donkey, just as soon as I finish this spell circle." Kay looked at a side of the paper that had an ornate circular pattern and marked a line near the top. The markings began to glow as Kay turned it towards Clint. A bright beam of light blasted off the page catching it's target in the face. Clint tried to make a sound of shock but all that came out was a loud bray from his now donkey-like head. Kay then looked back at B.J., pulling a studded driving glove out of his backpack and slipping it on his hand.
"And as for you, you're going to turn into some sort of farm animal. Personally, I'm hoping for a chicken. What's your money riding on?" He moved the glove towards B.J. menacingly.
"Get away from me freak!" B.J. swatted the gloved hand away causing it to touch the frozen form of Eric. Eric's stony skin began to crack and flake off to reveal his normal self. Kay would have watched this unique way his two spells reacted together and made a joke regarding the fact that a spell that was supposed to turn Eric into a pig just turned him to himself, but his attention had turned to Clint. The donkey boy had stepped on the spell circle and with a flash of light, returned to his human self.
Kay stood for a moment confused, but then gathered his senses when he saw the three moving in on him with very angry faces. Panicked, he reached for his backpack. Unfortunately, he grabbed it with the gloved hand. This action caused his backpack to transform into a large pig. The pig's first act as a living creature, was to bite the glove right off Kay's hand. It's second act was to run away as fast as it's porky legs could carry it. Marveling both at how bad his luck had gotten lately and how fast a pig could run, Kay took stock of his situation. Three guys who didn't like him in the first place now had him cornered, and were moving in.
"Wait!" he shouted, holding out his hands. "I still have another trick up my sleeve!" He began moving his arms in circles while wiggling his fingers, as if preparing for a very nasty spell. His hands moved faster and faster and the bullies started to back away. With a final thrust forward the boys backed up to find that . . . nothing happened. They looked at Kay expectantly for an answer. His answer was simple.
"Bye!" he said just before bolting for the door. After making it to the hallway he glanced behind him and confirmed that the three boys were following him and that they were very angry at having fallen for his trick.
A brief "Oh Crap" escaped the young sorcerers lips. Without wasting another second, he took off down the hall and towards the front doors. While shoving through the glass double doors he dared another look back. His pursuers were still behind him, looking very angry, frighteningly large, and uncomfortably close. Dashing outside, Kay made his way to the bike rack and as fast as his fingers could move, he started to unlock his bike. As soon as he was able, he yanked his bike off the rack and hopped on. Looking back to the doors, Kay could still see the three enemies still very angry, still frighteningly large, and still uncomfortably close. But he was happy to see that they had been temporarily trapped behind those doors. It seemed the swine formerly known as backpack in its third act as a living beast had recently decided to take a nap right in front of the doors. It's hefty, porky frame effectively prevented the bullies from getting out.
Kay grinned as the boys walked away from the glass and retreated down the hall. His smile quickly faded, however, when he realized that there was more than one set of doors in the building. With this startling revelation in tow, Kay started pedaling away. The best thing he could think of doing right now was to go back home and try to fix this mess. He rode his bike by the side of the road until his sides burned, only stopping to rest at the top of a particularly large hill. He was still a little way from his house, but having seen no sign of his three predators, he felt himself in the clear. Or at least he felt safe until he heard the roar of the engine. Looking down the side of the hill, he had just struggled up, he saw that Eric, Clint and B.J. had all hopped into Eric's sleek muscle car and were planning to make road pizza out of their favorite punching bag. He sighed heavily. "I just can not catch a break today!"
Lamenting his aching legs, Kay took off down the hill. The muscle car quickly caught up to him. The windows were open so he tried some diplomacy.
"Hey guys, look, I was just having some fun. You know? Fun? F - U - N? F is for Friends who do stuff together? U for you and me? N is for any where and . . Oh CRAP, OH CRAP, OH CRAP!"
The car had bumped his back wheel making him almost lose control and decide that diplomacy wasn't going to work. Suddenly, out of the blue, an idea popped into Kay's head. It was so clear and simple it had to work. Dodging another ramming, Kay leaned in close to his handle bars and began whispering some strange foreign language. Slowly but surely, the bicycle began to rise. The car stopped when the bike went over the roof and Clint, Eric and B.J. go out for a better look. Kay started laughing in a taunting way.
"So long, Suckers! Sayonara! Try the veal and tip your waitresses!" Lowering his voice and speaking to his handle bars again, he said, "Okay, bike. I've done enough taunting for today. How's about you take me home now?"
The handle bars turned and the peddles started spinning as the bike changed direction and headed back towards the bullies. Seeing this, Kay started panicking and screaming at the bike.
"NO! HOME! Go home! You know, where I live? The place I keep all my stuff? It has a bunch of crap on the lawn?" Kay suddenly realized that the bike's path only lead past the bullies and that his home was actually across the street from where they had parked.
"I really can't win today," he sighed, as he approached his home. A small, intimidating house who's grass could us a cut and was decorated with all sorts of lawn gnomes, plastic flamingoes, and things that spun in the wind. The bike touched down a little harder than it should have, barely missing a spinning plastic sunflower. The boys were approaching the sidewalk as Kay jumped off the bike and started digging around in his pockets. He pulled out a pen and a scrap of paper. After scribbling something on the paper, he picked up a nearby lawn gnome and shoved it in the porcelain man's mouth. As the bullies entered the yard, Kay raised the gnome over his head and with a cry of "Go, Gnome! Go!" flung it at his assailants.
The gnome sprang to life and let out a tiny, yet very fierce battle cry as it latched onto Clint's arm. The gnome fought well considering its size but sadly it was defeated when Clint smashed the noble creature on the ground. With the brave little man now in rubble, the boys felt safe to return their attention to Kay, only to find that he had already retreated into the house.
Coincidentally, that was the exact moment Kay ran into his room and slammed the door.
"What are you wearing?" came a voice from the bed as Kay locked the door.
"Not now Cleveland!" He answered to a black house cat with a large splash of white on its face.
"Whatever you were doing must not have gone so well. Who are the guys on the stairs?" Kay could hear the boys thundering up his stairs, too.
"Shuddup, Cleveland!" Kay answered as he cleared a space on his computer desk.
"Jeez, who wizzed in your Cherrios?"
"Oh, I'm sorry. I'm just a little cranky because I might DIE TODAY!" He pulled a silver brief case out from under his bed.
"The wishing machine?" Cleveland said, tilting his head and strutting his way closer. "You must really be in deep. What'd you do to these guys?"
Kay jumped a little when a loud, heavy knocking came from the door. "I turned one into stone and another into a donkey." Kay flipped the case open to reveal a small, black, monitor, microphone, a coin slot from a gumball machine, and a tangle mess of wires and circuit boards, half of which were connected to either a shrunken head, a shriveled monkey's paw, or a pair of rabbit's feet.
"Yep, that would probably do it," Cleveland said calmly. "I think you deserve a beating."
"Shuddup, Cleveland, or I swear I'll take those brains out of your head so fast it'll make your head spin!"
"Fine, Mr. Grumpy, but just so you know, those guys are about to break down the door." A splintering noise confirmed it, the door was about to give way. With a heavy gulp, Kay flipped a switch and the machine shirred to life.
The bullies had started ramming the door in unison when the small monitor showed a message in blocky, green text.
"PLEASE STATE YOUR WISH" the screen flashed.
"I wish to go back to 11:55 this morning!" Kay screamed into the microphone.
"ONE MOMENT PLEASE" The screen printed politely as the boys slammed their weight against the door again.
"PLEASE DEPOSIT 1.75 IN QUARTERS" flashed the screen. Kay scrambled through his pockets once again, looking for spare change. Another slam against the door and Kay found some change. Panicked, he started wondering why he created a coin-operated wishing machine and pumping quarters into the slot.
BAM! 25 cents. BAM! 50. BAM! 75. BAM! One dollar. BAM! Dollar twenty-five. BAM! Dollar fifty! BAM! BAM! BAM! One quarter short!
Kay frantically emptied his pockets in hopes of finding another quarter.
"Why did I make it only take quarters?" He screamed to noone in particular.
"Beats me," Cleveland said, "but those guys are about to break down the door, so you'll probably want to find another one."
"I don't know where to find another quarter!"
"No, I mean another door. This one's gonna be trashed, and speaking of new stuff, - "
"Cleveland! I swear if I get out of this I'll take out your brains and put 'em in a jar on my desk!"
"Humph!" Cleveland said, just as the door gave way. Cleveland hopped off the bed and slinked across the floor. "He's all your's boys." The cat strutted past the somewhat shocked bullies.
Shaking off the shock, Clint spoke up, "You're gonna get it now, freak!"
"Oh Snap!" Kay said in a voice that saw far from manly. "Hey guys, c'mon. Can't we talk about this? I mean sure I tried to turn you into granite and various beasts of burden but I was just messing around."
Just then a tiny glimmer caught his eye. There next to the leg of his desk sat a shiny, new 25 cent piece. Time seemed to slow down as Kay lifted the quarter. It may have been anything from the stress of the situation to a trick of the light to simple insanity finally setting in but Kay could have sworn that the tiny face on the coin winked at him. Monetary oddities aside, he gathered his senses and shoved the coin into the slot. A pleasant "THANK YOU" flashed on the screen and everything started melting.
When the world solidified again, Kay found himself looking into the single solitary mirror in the boy's locker room.
"What are you wearing, freak?"
Kay spun to see B.J., Clint and Eric standing behind him. He knew exactly what to do this time.