Narrator: In a world, where most are quite oblivious. One man will stand above the rest with his infinite knowledge.

Dan: (Dan is seen on a platform, surrounded by many people) I've got a pencil!!

Crowd: WOW!!

Narrator: The new breathtaking tale by the acclaimed director of Mike and Ike's and Ska Problems.

Screen: Adventure

(Scene shown is Dan running from a large crowd, screaming, with a pencil in his hand)

Screen: Romance

(Scene shown is Dan sitting on a bench and watching as girls go by.)

Dan: Nice knockers!

Screen: Iciocracy

Dan: (Scene shown is Dan in a laboratory surrounded by a small group of people) So as you can clearly see, when you add rubber to water, you get air. And the side effect of this is?

(Someone raises their hand)

Person: Apple sauce?

Dan: No. Actually, the side effect is Apple Cider. Sorry. You die.

(The person is hauled off by the other two, screaming. Dan is laughing maniacally)

Narrator: (Words appear as he speaks them) Dan Wright is…

The Village Idiot

(The word "idiot" is crossed out and replaced with "idjit"

Dan: You spelled it wrong.