Landmines do not come in different flavours Summary
Summary: -Wish 2- Landmines don't come in different flavours, but Sarah assures me seduction does. Now if only we can convince James… MFM/FMM
Disclaimers: Um, sorry for not updating sooner? Thanks to Katie's review blitz, which prompted me to force this chapter out. It went a little of course, but who was I to resist the bus plotline? This is unbeted, and it's bloody late so it probably is riddled with errors. Sorry if so!
I also have a new fic out- it's called the Winter Garden. Non SITYWAT world. Just something I'm trying out atm.
Refresh on chapter 5: Chapter 6- Sweet, sour and pants
- Sarah and Nick deal with the aftermath of the party and the kiss
- New student Kyte arrives.
- Nick tries to persuade Jarrod to give Sarah H a job at the sex shop
- James is secretly annoyed after seeing Nick and Sarah together and frustrated they don't call.
Chapter 6- Sweet, sour and pants
I'm walking to Nick's house, enjoying the sunny day and trying to ignore the vague jumpy feeling in my stomach. We still haven't talked about THE KISS, but we managed to get through a few days of school just fine not talking about it. Are we going to talk about it? Do I want to talk about it?
That night was not my finest, a few stupid bitches have been whispering about me in the hallways but words like "slut" haven't brought me down before and they sure as hell aren't now. That doesn't mean I like the looks one of the guys is shooting me… he touches me and he'll get my fist in his face for sure.
Anyway… peaceful morning, peaceful thoughts? Finally Nick's house is in sight, and I decide to jog the rest of the way. It's about then that I hear a startled scream that can only belong to Nick's mother. If I didn't know his family, I might rush in to see if she was in danger. However…
I take a doubtful look at the door.
Really, I do have to go and collect Nick… we'll be late otherwise. I tentatively push open the door to see a furious, bright red Renee, Nick's father trying to placate… well, someone, and his mother, chest heaving in shocked gasps and gesturing without words.
"It's perfectly natural…" Nick's father says somewhat awkwardly, while Nick's mother shakes her head disbelievingly.
"It's not mine!" denies Renee.
They all look down at the pile of washing on the ground, and I unthinkingly follow their gaze. It takes me a moment to realise I'm looking at a tiny pink vibrator.
"You are a healthy young girl… young woman I should say…" Nick's father almost bends to pick it up and I think I'm cringing as much as Renee is. Wow, if I thought showing my underwear at a party was bad…
Renee apparently finds the thought of her dad touching it so unbearable she quickly snatches it up from the ground. Her mother makes a whimpering sound and fans her face, and her father rushes to her side.
"Our children are growing up! I am so proud!" he declares loudly. Renee's fist is clenched so tightly around the vibrator it's bloodless and white.
This is when Nick finally decides to make his appearance.
"Time to go!" I declare in what is probably a high pitched voice, but this much Bandell weirdness is just way too much, especially at 7:50 in the morning.
"Bye mum, bye dad, bye Renee! You have fun with that!" Nick winks, and Renee howls in what I can only describe as absolute rage.
"YOU-YOU-" begins Renee, apoplectic with fury.
"Let's go!" Nick drags me along quickly while my brain is still starting to piece the facts together. I can only groan at the realisation.
"You planted it, didn't you?" I meet his eyes, and I'm almost taken aback at the downright naughty look in them. He grins at me, flipping his fringe out of his eyes.
"Don't worry, I got you one too. They're a good deal," Nick winks his blue eyes at me, and I feel my eyebrows raise almost into my hairline.
"You… got me… a vibrator?" My brain and mouth are not connecting well right now.
Nick's look turns decidedly smug as he reaches into his pocket with one hand and then grabs my hand with his other hand. His hands are warm. I see a flash of pink, then he's placed it into my hand.
"Think of me," Nick raises his eyebrows cheekily, and then drags me onwards to the bus stop.
Oh. My. God.
What a morning. I swear, I'm so on fire today I could burn the whole school down! I feel like I've gotten Renee back x1000 and I think I may have permanently damaged the wench. It's almost worrying. But hell if that wasn't a sexy line. I wonder if she will use it, and if she does… I wonder if she will think of me? For a split second I actually start to picture her, and I get as far as her head thrown back in an orgasmic moan when I stop that train of thought right there. And then I start a new, equally lecherous one! I should star in a porno, WE should star in a porno. With that thought, I turn to her.
"We should star in a porno," I say matter of factly to Sarah and I see her eyes widen, and then narrow.
Alright, game on! I was wondering where her sass was- it's been unpleasantly absent lately.
She's got a considering look on her face, biting one of her lips in thought before her eyes slip to meet mine.
"So how do we start out, I lick a lollipop? Or I lick your lollipop?" She asks throatily, a smirk on her face. I've got to say, I like it.
A gargling noise to our right distracts us momentarily and Sarah's hair flicks me in the face as she turns her head.
"Patrick?" Heath sighs, turning to see what's causing his boyfriend to spaz out now.
"YOU'RE STARRING IN A PORNO?!" Patrick yells. Oh Patrick, so slow to catch on, so quick to scream it out to a whole busload of people. Many of said people are staring now, including the bus driver.
"Patrick, didn't you know? We're all starring in the porno. It's happening now," The wench informs him with a devilish grin. It's so gold I don't see how I didn't come up with it! Knowing Patrick, with minimal effort on our part he'll swallow this hook, line and sinker.
"WHAT?!" shrieks Patrick and Heath is torn between laughing hysterically and sighing. From behind Patrick, Harry is giving Heath a 'Don't ruin it!' look. Heath looks torn, which means we've won.
"I've never… done this before…" The wench flashes her eyes to me, attempting and failing to look innocent, trailing a finger in her cleavage. With a grin, I beckon her towards me.
"Does it hurt?" She asks me, totally unbelievable in her virginal role. I almost choke at how thick she's laying it on. And speaking of how thick… Get it? Get it?
I yank her on to my lap and almost purr, while looking at Harry significantly. She gets the hint and touches her hand to Warren's face.
"I know you wanted to wait… but… I'm burning up Warren. I need you to make sweet, sweet love to me!" Saral cries passionately, and Warren simply raises an eyebrow. Patrick meanwhile, is looking suspicious.
"If this is a porno, where are the cameras?" Patrick demands, ignoring the Wench running her hands through my hair and sighing passionately.
"Cut, cut! This is not working. Patrick, you need to be having sex!" Adam decides to jump on the bandwagon.
"And to answer you," Saral pauses in her molestation of Warren, "The Cameras are built into the bus. It's supposed to have a real life gritty view."
Patrick's eyes dart around the bus, just looking for a reason to believe us. Finally, Adam thinks of the most ridiculous thing to convince him, and like usual, it works.
"What did the bus driver say to you when you got on, Patrick?" Adam says significantly, like Patrick's stupid for not catching on.
Patrick's eyes widen and the colour drains from his face.
"He said…" Patrick begins, and I see Heath look puzzled, "He said… 'Are you going to validate your ticket?'"
It's all I can do not to laugh as he repeats "He asked me if I was going to validate my ticket!" followed by Adam's nod.
"Exactly! So now do you get it? Can we get back to this porno?" Adam asks almost petulantly.
"We're really doing this?" Patrick asks Heath, bewildered. With a hidden smirk, Heath nods. And then, Patrick, being Patrick…
"HOLY SHIT PATRICK!" Heath screams, and if there was anyone on the bus not looking in our direction, they sure are now.
Nick starts laughing, and Heath recoils from Patrick's hands, which are, at the moment, questing rather enthusiastically down his pants.
"That's it Patrick, find his trouser snake!" Nick actually giggles. It's a little creepy.
"Trouser snake?" I look incredulously at him. Warren is pointedly looking out the window, and Saral is bright red and alternating at sneaking peaks at what's going on and trying to look away.
"It's cool," Patrick says flippantly, giving a dark grin that seems out of place on his face. His hands are now moving up and down and Heath looks both uncomfortable, desperate and turned on. I won't lie, it's a little bit hot.
"My lord!" an older lady gasps.
Adam is lost for words though really, we should have seen this coming, and Nick is urging Patrick on. Heath is frantically trying to grab his hands and Patrick is managing to avoid them fairly well. Saral has lost the curiousity battle and is just plain watching now; I feel we'll be discussing this one in private later.
"What the fuck…" A guy down the bus comments, looking agitated and finally the driver snaps.
"GET OFF THE BUS!" the driver shouts, spittle flying out of his mouth in his outrage. We look at each other, even Patrick paused in his… activities.
For once, even Nick seems to know when to quit, and we all troop sheepishly off of the bus. Someone hisses at us as we go past, and I shove my middle finger in their direction. The bus driver makes a growling noise and this encourages us to speed up our exit a little. Warren's barely passed through the door when they start to close, hitting him on the arm. Annoyed, he looks back at the bus which, wasting no time, is already starting to move off without even indicating.
"Jerks," Nick pouts, and the effect is ridiculous.
"Heath…" Patrick says slowly and we all turn to look at him.
"That wasn't a real porno, was it?" It takes a long time for me to stop laughing enough to breathe.
We decide rather quickly to give up on the idea of school and just hang out.
"Should we?" Adam asks, despite the fact that we're already walking to a nearby park.
"Well we're going to be late anyway…" Warren shrugs, and I'm actually a little surprised that straight laced Warren seems pro wagging.
"Well I'm convinced!" I announce dryly, before running over to the lawn and lying down in the grass, staring up at the sky. It's a sunny day, it's warm and wayyy too bright to sleep but it's nice to relax and let my mind drift. The others sit or lie down, Harry joining me on one side lying down, Nick on my other side.
"So… about that porno thing…" Harry begins, and I love her for it.
"Very hot!" I whistle, and I feel Patrick swat me half-heartedly.
"Seriously, you should go into the porno business. I'll be your fluffer…" I tune Nick out and the further explanation of what a fluffer is. I pay attention just in time to hear "Eww Nick, no way!".
Ah Patrick, so sensitive with his words. Luckily Nick's only mock-offended.
"What do you want to be in the future?" Harry asks out of nowhere. We all take a moment to ponder it.
"University, I guess, and then a job," Heath offers, not sounding particularly sure.
"University… I heard there's a lot of bribery there. I heard you have to take trial drugs, and sometimes people disappear and aren't heard from ever again…" Patrick says in one breath, and there's silence as everyone stares at him.
"Anyway…" Nick cuts in, "I'm thinking I'll continue my work at the sex shop for a while."
"You're joking, right?" Adam asks, "I genuinely can't tell whether you're kidding or not. Sometimes you have such a great poker face…" he scrutinises Nick.
"Actually no… I work at a sex shop," Nick reveals to them all.
"Do you think I'm dumb? Porno on the bus and work at the sex shop…" Patrick rants.
"Actually, he does," I confirm for them.
"When did this happen?" Warren asks.
"Last week, but I'm trying to get the Wench a job there too," Nick informs us and I am taken aback.
"What?" I question. Do I want a job at a sex shop? Then I think of the little pink vibrator and my lonely, lonely sex life. Cue tumbleweed.
Yes, yes I do want to work at a sex shop.
"Cool," I adjust my answer, and feel Nick relax slightly next to me.
"You know who is missing?" Nick says after a while.
"Who?" Heath asks.
"James," Nick says decisively, pulling out his phone and putting it on loudspeaker to call James.
It rings for a few moments before it's picked up and we hear James explaining to someone that his dad is calling.
"Naughty, naughty!" Nick admonishes.
"Shut up!" James hisses, and then "May I take this outside sir?"
There's some shuffling and I picture him moving out into the hallway, and then his voice comes back on.
"What do you want?" he growls.
"Come and hang out with us," Nick orders.
"What? No! Why…" James rejects the suggestion outright.
"Why not! It's a beautiful day, we're hanging at a park near your school! Wag with us," Nick cajoles, and I can imagine James' reactions.
"No…" James doesn't sound convincing, and Nick picks up on it immediately.
"The Wench is looking hot today… she's lying in the sun, on the ground, with a tiny skirt and she's unbuttoning the top button of her shirt as we speak…" Nick teases, and Heath actually looks over to check if he's lying. Of course, he is lying, because while I am wearing a tiny skirt, I'm just far too relaxed to make any movements right now.
Nick holds the phone in front of my face, and I manage a "Come on James…" rather lazily. Happily, the others pick up the refrain, Harry and Patrick adding their "Come on James!" encouragement. Finally, he gives in and tells us he'll be there shortly.
I think, strangely enough, we may actually be getting there with James. Then, Nick reaches over and unbuttons the top of my shirt, and distracted, I no longer manage to think at all. Rawr. … A/N:
Thanks, good night and hands down your pants