"Oh. My. Gosh. Look, it's Chad." Jenna flipped her blond hair, quickly removed some lint from her colourful top and nudged at her friend, Melanie… all in the span of five seconds.
Melanie ignored her friend as she fiddled with her locker combination. "I think someone's high on drugs."
"No, Chad is totally clean. He doesn't do drugs, he doesn't smoke, he doesn't take steroids, and he even does his mother's laundry! Oh God oh God oh God." It was apparent that she was entering another one of those fantasies again. "Isn't he just so dreamy? His blond hair… his blue eyes… his abs…." She continued to smile even as Chad disappeared down the hallway with his macho friends.
"Jenna, what do you think of this?"
Melanie handed her friend a folded piece of paper as she continued to pack textbooks into her schoolbag. "Let's see… what homework did I have today? Chemistry, English…"
Jenna made a face when she peered into Melanie's locker. "What's that, a garbage dump?"
"It's called organized chaos, Jenna."
Jenna rolled her eyes, unfolded the piece of paper and read it aloud. "Words simply cannot express the love I feel for you, my dearest pearl. You are Venus, you are an Egyptian queen and you are the most beautiful woman on Earth that I've ever seen. You are out of this world',"
"That's contradictory, by the way." Melanie interjected.
Jenna shrugged and continued reading. "'You're a superstar. I love you and I always will.' Wow, I never thought you had a secret admirer, Melanie!"
Melanie shook her head and the excited expression on Jenna's face faded. "He thinks my bra size is 42D and he compliments me for my blond hair."
"But I thought you were a brunette?" Jenna looked her friend over with a confused expression, and looked down. "And no offence but… I can't imagine you working at Hooters."
"Don't you get it, Jenna?" Melanie snatched the note from her friend and tossed it back into her locker. "This guy is sending notes to the wrong girl!"
"Oh." Jenna nodded. "That makes sense. But it's still September, so I guess mix-ups are bound to happen."
Melanie sighed. "Someone needs to set this guy straight and tell him that he's making a mistake."
Jenna nodded again. "How long has this been going on for?"
"Uhh, since the beginning of September."
Jenna peered into Melanie's locker again and she looked at Melanie with an incredulous expression. "And you actually kept all the notes?"
Melanie shrugged. "In case he wants them back later. They still need to be sent to the right girl, you know."
"Wow…" Jenna nodded approvingly as she scanned the locker disaster. "You seem to be getting them pretty often."
"I've been getting notes every single day." Melanie muttered darkly.
Jenna gasped, oblivious to her friend's expression. "Lucky you!"
She rolled her eyes. "Jenna, what are you talking about? You don't understand! Think about all the paper that's being wasted and all the trees we've lost! And if that's not bad enough, the stuff he writes down on paper is downright corny."
"I think it's kind of sweet…" Jenna twiddled her thumbs. "Especially that line with Venus and stuff."
"Okay, Jenna. Who compares butt cheeks with hydrangeas?!" Melanie waved her hands in the air exasperatedly.
"He wrote that before?" An expression of wonder struck her unblemished face. "That's kind of creative, actually…." She started giggling.
This was obviously a lost cause.
The conversation was in serious need of a U-turn, and Melanie realized that. "You know what, we've got to figure out who this guy is so we can set him straight."
Jenna nodded. "I agree. So do you want to meet up sometime after school tomorrow?"
Melanie shook her head. "No, let's meet tomorrow morning at 7:30, just in case he's the shy type who doesn't want people to know that he's slipping notes in places, you know?"
"Yeah, I'll keep a careful watch on it between class time, too. Ready to go home?"
"Sure." She closed the locker door behind her.
They opened the door at the end of the empty hallway, proceeded to walk down the stairs and heard a pair of voices echoing from below.
"Chad, I just don't understand why it's so hard for you to do this simple, little thing for me!"
"Brittany, you don't understand."
"Isn't his voice so dreamy?" Jenna softly whispered to Melanie as they stopped walking. Melanie sighed. If she wasn't there to hold Jenna, those would've been her last words because she would've fainted and rolled down the stairs.
The angry voice from below sprouted. "Chad, honestly! I know you're a guy and all, but girls need to be shown some love, you know? All I need is just a simple little message from you to show that you care!"
"I've been doing all I can, Brit! I've been doing this shit everyday!"
The two girls gulped and stared at each other with "are-you-thinking-what-I'm-thinking?" expressions.
"You're a liar! I've gotten nothing."
"Come up, I'll show you."
Melanie and Jenna exchanged worried glances as they heard the approaching footsteps. They quietly ran up the stairs and tactfully hid themselves— Melanie found a trashcan and Jenna found a recycling bin.
The arguing couple soon stopped at Melanie's locker. Jenna could not be happier because she was now able to admire Chad's body from top to bottom with a legitimate excuse. Melanie, on the other hand, noticed that Brittany really looked like… a Brittany. She had blond hair, blue eyes, nice curves, complete with the 42D rack.
Chad pointed to the locker triumphantly. "Here, I've been leaving notes in this locker since the beginning of September when we first hooked up!"
"Idiot! I said it was 0060, not 0900!"
Chad stared at Brittany with a dumbfound expression. "Shit. How was I supposed to know that the paper was turned upside-down?"
"If you were listening to what I was saying when I handed the note to you, you would've known! You know what, I'm tired of your bullshit because you never listen anyway!"
"Brittany, we were in a club! You know how fucking loud the music is!"
Melanie coughed—she could not handle the swearing. And when she felt the two eyes on the coughing, living trashcan, she had no choice but to reveal herself. With hesitance and reluctance, she gulped and slowly stood on her two feet.
"Uh… hi." She glanced at the both of them, and averted her gaze to the floor. She twiddled her thumbs. "That's uh… my locker. If you guys want to see what Chad wrote, I can uh… open it up for you?"
Brittany and Chad stood in silence.
"Yeah umm… I'll just get the notes for you guys." Her hand was sweating and she clumsily turned the dial back and forth. Eventually, the locker door opened.
Melanie continued to talk to herself. "…Yeah… see, you can take a look, Brittany." She fumbled around and randomly found a note that she received on September 17th. "Here's a sweet one." It was a general comment that could be applicable to all of Chad's notes. Without reading it, she handed it to Brittany and she tactfully added, "I think you'd be really touched."
Brittany stayed silent for a while as she read the note. "'Your butt cheeks make me want to lay when you make them sway. They are as bright as the moon and just beautiful as hydrangeas in full bloom.' What the fuck?" She turned her shocked, unfaltering gaze to Chad and threw the note down to the floor.
Melanie had to swallow to stop herself from smiling. Jenna could hardly contain her giggles, but she succeeded because Brittany and Chad did not seem to notice her presence.
Chad ran a hand through his blond locks. "Look, you looked really hot in that club the other night and I was trying to be sweet about it. I thought rhyming was roman—"
"Shut up. You're making excuses. Don't lie to me."
"What are you talking about?" He waved his hands in the air. "I was trying to show you how much I love you!"
She threw a look of disgust to Melanie. "You're just trying to bang that chick, aren't you?"
"After all this time, you've been sending her these notes and, if it really was a mix-up, you didn't even bother checking with me to see if I got them!" She glared at him accusingly. "You're just trying to two-time, isn't that right?"
Three pairs of eyes widened and three jaws dropped to the floor.
"Oh HELL no." Chad shook his head vigorously. "I don't even know this girl. I don't even talk to her!"
Melanie's expression mirrored Chad's. "Chad's good-looking and all, but I'm really not into the blond-with-abs type."
"Excuses." Brittany gave both of them a dramatic, long, hard glare. "If you want that chick so bad, then you can have her because I'm breaking up with you!" She huffed towards the stairs.
"But…this can't be happening!" Chad lost all of his energy and fell onto his knees. "I thought… I thought…."
"IT'S OVER!" was the echoed reply from below.
Melanie looked at Jenna and Jenna looked at Melanie.
"I thought this was love! She meant everything to me… I even gave her a cheesecake for her birthday! Why was I so stupid? I should've apologized instead of being so pissed off at her!" Tears started to flow down his face and droplets splashed against the cold, hard floor.
Melanie cringed at the increasingly awkward situation. To ease her discomfort, she coughed again. "Uh, it's okay." Melanie patted him on the shoulder, because it seemed like a manly thing to do. "Your next girlfriend's just around the corner, I'm sure of it."
Ironically enough, Jenna was hidden around the corner with her recycling bin. Her heart started to race as she saw the gorgeous, crying man in front of her. Her hormones took charge and convinced her to approach them.
She bent over, tapped on Chad's shoulder as he glued his face to the floor. "Chad?"
Chad lifted up his head and hiccupped at the sudden surprise. "Jenna! What are you doing here?"
"Would it make you feel better if you watch the movies with me this Saturday?" She suggested with a confident tone.
Melanie stood, flabbergasted. Jenna just… wasn't the type to ask guys out. Guys asked her out!
"You're… you're…" Chad looked Jenna over, checked out her 38C rack, blond hair, hazel eyes, and his very own blue eyes widened. "You're gorgeous!"
"Aww… thank you!" Jenna smiled shyly, feeling awfully flattered because it was a compliment from the one and only Chad.
The smiling Jenna made his heart race twice as fast as before and his decision was resolute. "Let's go out this Sunday, too."
Jenna gasped. "Are you sure?"
He stood up and took her hand. "Cupcakes, I will always make time for you!"
"Awwwww, you're soooo sweet!" Jenna launched herself at him and gave a big fat hug. Chad found her glossed lips irresistible and started to kiss her, and she returned the favour with the same amount of passion.
Out of boredom and awkwardness, Melanie sat down, took out her textbook, and started to do her homework.
She broke away after several minutes of kissing. "So did you really come up with all those sweet lines yourself? Because I think they're just sooo romantic!"
"Uhh… Yeah." Chad grinned boyishly and Jenna was infatuated. "It's a bit embarrass—"
"No!" Jenna sealed his lips with another kiss. "I think they're written beautifully! If you gave me those notes, I would cherish them for the rest of my life!"
Chad was moved. "…Really?" They enveloped each other in another hug. Then, he placed his hands on her shoulders. "Listen, I have to go home because it's my mother's birthday today." He gave Jenna a goodbye kiss. "I'll see you later!"
"Okay honey, I'll see you on Saturday!" Jenna beamed.
When Chad disappeared down the hall, Melanie still had difficulty trying to soak in the reality of the situation.
"Jenna… in all the years that I've known you, I would've never thought that you would ever ask a guy out!"
Jenna smiled sheepishly. "Oh, I don't know. I saw him crying and I guess it's my healing instinct!"
Melanie sighed as she packed her books into her bag and stood up. "Let's go home, Jenna."
She nodded. "And while we're walking, tell me all about the notes that he left in your locker!"
Melanie blinked. "All of them?"
Jenna nodded. "All of them."