a/N: Don't bother flaming coz it's too cheesy... I've already warned you that it's honestly juz oozing with sweet cheesiness and I don't give a damn 'cause I'm in THAT kind of mood.

It's Christmas and the snow was falling like a white blanket covering and draping over everything, covering the sadness and the pain of this world and made it seems innocent and pure.

My family's in a country far, far away and I couldn't go back because I'm busy rushing through the deadlines before this season's holiday. By the time I was done, the blizzard's just too damn strong for any planes to be flying about.

It's cold. It's lonely. And I hate Christmas.

I stuff my gloved hand into my coat as I walked briskly but aimlessly along the pavement, ignoring the merry carols. I walked past houses with families having their dinner and giving each other warm smiles and hugs. Lovers cuddle together in their house, drinking from a hot cup of cocoa by the fireplace.

That somehow made me think of my past. On this very day six years ago was when we had to part, life had been one hell of a mess. I just gave up on finding the special someone because it isn't beneficial at all.

The air was dry and cold right then. Thinking that I would probably die of hypothermia even if I were wearing these thick layers of clothing, I decides to enter a bar. Yeah… I guess that's the place where the lonely, workaholic people like me go to on Christmas Eve.

"Hi." the bartender greeted me with familiarity.

"Hey, Chuck." I greeted back and took off my coat and gloves. I untied my hair and shook my head to loosen my heavy locks of dark black hair. I folded my spectacles and placed it my purse and propped my arms up on the table.

"The usual?" he asked, wiping a wineglass.

I nodded my head and crossed my legs while tapping my finger, lost in thoughts. When he finally gave me my drink, I quickly took one big gulp out of it and feel the alcohol burning my throat then my stomach.

"Bad day?" Chuck asked.

"Whaddya think?" I cocked my head to one side and raised an eyebrow with a sarcastic looking expression. "Can't go back, stuck here when all I see around me is mushy love and joy while I'm being miserable reminiscing about my darn past."

Chuck kept silent and refilled my glass, waiting for me to continue. "Ah well… At least I'm done with the novel at last. The editor won't be bugging me for sometime now." I encircled the mouth of the class with a finger.

"That's good. Looking forward to your new book then."

"Yeah. Thanks." I replied unenthusiastically. A moment of silence swept through us.

"Don't wanna talk about your 'darn past' then?" he questioned.

"Nah… Just some crappy foolish high school love life."

"You're 23 now and you're still dwelling on your high school love?" he looked at me as if a screw has gone loose in my head.

"It's not just your average 'just a moment of love sparks between two teens' alright?" I pointed my finger at him accusingly and he raised his hands up in surrender. "And besides…" I proceeded. "After that whole thing, I couldn't bring myself to love anyone else anymore. It's just too troublesome and it gets in the way of my goals."

"Did he die or something then?" Chuck asked giving me my third refill.

"Gosh no." I gasped, a little aghast. "He didn't die. It just that, high school was hard for both of us. He was quite… unstable mentally and emotionally. We went through a lot of pain and hardships, sticking to each other and never let go. I've always hoped that I could somehow save him or something because I love him so much and I could bear to see him the way he was. But then there comes the day of graduation. After graduation, the whole lot of us - all of our classmates and us - decided to go for a graduation trip, which ended on Christmas day. A day, which also sets the end of everything: we had to go our separate ways in order to pursue our goals.

"In order to prevent any more troubles that may happen because of a long-distanced relationship, we decided to end everything once and for all, thinking it was the best. But I tell you Chuck, that ain't easy. All those things that I've done just ends there. Like that.

"After that relationship, I just felt that I couldn't bear to love anyone anymore. It's just too damn difficult especially during the aftermath of the whole thing. You know, the 'healing part' when you've broken up and know you'd never see him again, bla bla bla… And I was still an amateur writer then and I wanted so badly to become an internationally known novelist. I couldn't let anything get in my way of achieving that and damn… you have no idea how wrecked I was and I almost lost track of my life and dreams.

"Fearing that I would meet with the same thing all over again if I fall in love with someone else, I just… stopped loving."

"But you are an internationally known novelist right now." Chuck points out. "With loads of cash." he added chirpily.

"Yeah. People would expect me to go to a posh restaurant rather than this run-down bar." I stated with a little bit of mirth.

"Hey! My bar is not run-down alright?!" he snapped.

"Fine."

Chuck rolled his eyes and I laughed.

A bell rang behind me and the sound of the door opening with a swing was heard. Chuck piped up, happy to see a customer other than me walking into his bar.

I did not even give a damn to turn to look at the person who took a seat beside me. Instead, I buried my face in my hands, and let my hair do the rest of covering up my face.

From the person's voice, I figured that it's a man. He ordered for the strongest alcoholic drink that Chuck had and took off his coat muttering something under his breath. Then, his phone starts ringing. "Who the hell is it this time?" he asked angrily before answering it.

That caught my attention. Not because he sounded angry, but because he spoke in Chinese and it makes him sound like someone I know from the past. But that was not enough for me to turn my head and look at him. My ear just becomes more alert to his voice and the way he speaks.

When he finally flipped his cell phone closed, Chuck asks his the same question he asked me. "Bad day?"

He let out an empty laughter. "Sort of. Christmas just makes me think of some unwanted memories…"

"High-school love life?" Chuck asked and I almost wanted to murder him.

"How did you know?" the man asked back.

Great. The next thing Chuck's going to do was tell him that I'm in the same boat as him.

"This lady here's the same."

Perfect. That really made me want to murder him.

"Really?" he said with faint amusement and my heart stopped for a moment there. The way he said it was the exactly as 'him'. It sounded more as "Real-leh".

"Uh-huh. And she's a Chinese too, like you." I could imagine Chuck shrugging, having no idea what he had just done.

"You're a Chinese?" this time, that man turns and asked me in our native language.

I sigh. Great. Another disaster to add into my Christmas event list.

"Yes, Trevor. I am a Chinese." I can feel him stiffen the moment I said his name.

I dragged my head up and tucked my hair behind my ears, my eyes locking to his for the first time in six years.

"Sa-Sapphire?" he stuttered my name and looks as if he's seen a ghost.

"What? I'm not a ghost. Don't look at me like that." I glared.

In front of us, Chuck was bewildered. "Wait… You guys know each other?"

In an unplanned unison, we both answered, "That's the damn person who gave me all those trouble years ago and decided to end it with just the words, 'That's the end for us.' and decided to walk away from me!" we shouted at the top of our lungs and pointed to each other angrily.

"Oh boy… this is bad…" the bartender stated the obvious and smartly retreats into the kitchen in an amazing speed.

He exhales a breath and looks at me. "You've grown your hair long now."

"Uh-huh…" I muttered.

"I've been reading your novels. They're quite well written…"

"Thanks for you unconditional support. Feel free to buy the upcoming one." I replied with an air of boredom, which I was sure, did not help with the awkwardness of the situation. I was in a cheesed off mood, what more do you expect of me?

Trevor noted the hostile air around me and let out an exasperated sigh. "Look, it would be great if you would stop trying to act cold and be nice. We haven't seen each other in 6 years."

I looked back at him into the dark void of his eyes and I gave in. "Alright. Fine. I'll play nice."

"Thank you." he answered with courtesy.

I took a sip from my glass and tried my very best not to bang the glass against the table in uneasiness and annoyance. Wrecking my brain on how should I proceed to keep this dead conversation alive, I asked, "So, how are you doing?" A short, simple, precise, easy to answer question.

"Well…" he begins. "Do you want the honest truth or just the basic standard answer?"

Yeah right. Easy answers my foot.

"Up to you." I shrugged.

"Fine. Since we're feeling quite miserable right now, I might as well, go with the mood." Draining his own glass of alcoholic drink, he cleared his throat. "Never talked to mum and dad ever since I came here to further my studies in psychology -"

"Wait… You ended up studying psychology?!" I sputtered.

He raised his eyebrows at me as if I just asked a nonsensical question. "What's wrong with studying psychology?"

"No, nothing… It's just that, you were quite a mental wreck the last time." - He gave me a glare and I just shrug because it was the truth - "And I thought you would go into something more to the medical or engineering field."

He ignored me. "As I was saying, never seen or talked to my parents in ages. The only time I talk to them is when my study fee has to be paid or when I need money. Brother's somewhere in the world and I can't really be bothered to figure out where. So yeah… go figure out how's my life."

"Crappy as always." I concluded for him.

"Thanks." he sarcastically says. "How about you then?"

"Me?" I looked ahead and stare at the wine bottles and glasses displayed on the shelves. "My life's just me, my laptop, my books and a really great but annoying editor who's always on my heels."

After that, we fell silent as the snow continued to fall. When it was time to close the bar, we parted once more, not even saying a word of goodbye. I thought that we will never meet again. I was so damn wrong.

--
7 months later.

"Hey Sapphire!" my editor tossed me a ticket with cute cartoon prints on them.

I stopped typing and held the ticket in my hands. I raised a questioning eyebrow at her.

"Thought you might need a break. It's a ticket to the new fun fair. Heard that they have a great Ferris wheel ride. Really huge and a great view of the city from above."

"And since when are you so nice to me?"

"Aren't I always, dear?" I swore that I could almost catch an evil aura radiating from her at times.

"No, you aren't." I stated and carried on typing away on my laptop.

"Now you've hurt me. Never mind, I forgive you." I rolled my eyes at her. "I just want you to take a break, relax and enjoy. You write crappy stuff when you're stressed out. It gives me more work."

"Right. Okay. Since you're so honest, I'll go. Now just get out from my house." I muttered, not even looking at her way, my eyes all the while fixed to the screen and the sound of my fingers dancing its way on the keyboard, weaving my newest story.

When the sound of my front door click shut, I stopped typing altogether and slumped. I took off my spectacles and for no reason or whatsoever, I suddenly thought of Trevor. Why the hell am I thinking about him? Annoyed, I mentally warned myself not to get involve in his life again, not that I ever would be able to since, I would not be seeing him again… I think?

When the sun had set and it was dark, I decided to go to the fair as my editor had suggested. It was crowded. I hate crowds.

Children were screaming and running about, people were queuing up to enjoy the rides that the fun fair had to offer and I wondered why I was here in the first place? I knew that it would be crowded because it had just opened a few days ago and I hate crowds.

I sighed and made up my mind to head straight to the Ferris wheel. When I reached there, I was honestly quite impressed. It was huge with really small white and blue lights around it. The lightings were perfect. It wasn't too bright until it hurts the eye but it wasn't too dim until it could not stand out either.

People lined up in two rows and the line was amazingly long. Still, with my love for Ferris wheels, I waited patiently, enjoying the cool night breeze.

When it came to my turn, I stepped into the Ferris wheel car. Silly me when I thought I could enjoy some solitary peace up in the sky alone. The guy who takes care of the Ferris wheel just had to get one more person into the Ferris wheel together with me.

I propped my elbow up onto the edge of the glass window and rested by head on my palm. I looked out the window ignoring the intruding presence. When the door slid shut and the Ferris wheel started moving again, I allowed my eyes to drift across the car.

Oh shit…

"What the hell are you doing here?" I questioned at Trevor who sat directly opposite me, his eyes staring out from the window.
"What do you think? I'm enjoying the ride as you are."

"How can I enjoy the ride with you around!?" I threw my hands up, evidently not comfortable with the little space between us.

"And why can't you? Just ignore me." he crossed his legs, folded his arms and looked at me.

"I just can't!"

"That's not a very good excuse." he pointed out.

"I don't need a good excuse damn it!"

"Yes you do." he paused. "Or maybe you're still hooked up on me and you can't bear to get mingled with my good for nothing existence and life again like in the past?"

Oh… that arrogant little bastard! I have quite a good mind to just give him one hell of a slap and wipe that arrogance and ego away from him face. "Oh don't be silly, Trevor!"I tried to laugh it off but somehow it came out quite fake. Good gosh…

"You sound fake."

Thanks… I'm aware of that, thank you very much. "I have no idea what you mean? I mean, it's already 6 years. It would be insane not to be over it!"

"Really?"

"Yes!"

"Are you sure?" he leaned forward.

"Absolutely sure!" I screamed. By that time, we were already in midair. Below us were the city lights, shining and sparkling to boldly and bright in the dark.

"Absolutely sure?" his eyes glinted with amusement, narrowing the space between us although he made no move to touch me which I was grateful for.

"Well, what do you want me to say?! That I'm not sure. And that maybe I'm still dwelling in my bloody past?! That I feel stupid because even though it has been six long years, and I'm already an adult but I still can't forget about some high school crush?!"

He shrugged. "I want the truth, Sapphire."

I do not like the say he says my name. With that husky, deep drawl of his. It's annoying. Utter, one hundred percent, incomprehensibly annoying.

"Well, you're not gonna get it!" I snapped, edging backwards.

"But I thought I've already got it?" he smiled. That stupid haughty one heck of a smile.

"What do you mean by 'I've already got it'? You just asked for it which means you do not have it!"

Why is this happening to me? There I was just now, just hoping to have some peace and quiet up here alone with the city lights.

"Well, I just want to hear the truth from you."

"You just said that you thought that you've gotten the truth!?"

"Aha. You see, I said 'thought' which means I'm not sure which in turn means I want you to enlighten me."

"I'm not going to do that! I just want you out of my life!"

"Do you really want that?" he asked. Questions after questions from him. Gosh… I just wished he would stop that!

"Yes I do!"

"Uh-huh." he did not sound as if he believed me and why is that?

"I really do!"

"Are you telling the truth?"

"Oh, just stop with the questions already, Trevor!" I buried my face in my hands.

Trevor leaned back against his seat. "I won't until you tell me the truth."

"I hate you." I muttered.

"No you don't."

"Stop making me confused."

"I'm not."

"You are."

"Whatever you say Sapphire."

After that, we were silent. Both of us just looked out from the window. Given a chance, I would not have stepped into this Ferris wheel if I had known this would happen. All of a sudden, there was loud groan of the machines that moved the Ferris wheel from down below. The Ferris wheel stopped abruptly and I tried to see what was wrong.

A man from down below spoke through an amplifier speaker. "To those in the Ferris wheel! I am sorry to announce that we are experiencing some technical difficulties! It isn't serious so there's nothing to worry about! However we may need around three hours to fix it! The wind tonight isn't strong so don't be afraid! You are absolutely safe! In the mean time, just enjoy the extra time you have to enjoy the city view!"

No. No way. They cannot just do that to me! I was planning to get off the car the moment it's my car's turn to hit the ground!

Am I some sort of cliché romance story? I'm a writer not a character in some useless fictional love stories there for the writer to play around with!

I groaned. My life has officially been bombed into smithereens.

"Looks like you're stuck with me for another 3 hours." Trevor pointed out the obvious and I shot him a glare.

"I'd rather smashed the window open and jump off this car and kill myself."

"So be it then if that's what you want. Nobody's stopping you." Trevor gestured towards the window.

"Why do you always have to ruin my life?"

Trevor narrowed his eyebrows at me. Maybe that wasn't the right thing to say to him.

"You're the one who decided to barge into my life if memories serve me right."

I kept my lips sealed as I know what he said was right. I was the one who feel in love with him first and the one who decided to help him out.

"There are cases of people marrying their high school sweethearts, you know?"

I was caught off guard and I whipped my head and stared at him. "My, aren't you idealistic?"

"But true." he nodded his head.

"That only occurs to a one in a million couple. And it's cliché."

"Does it ever occur to you that we might be that one in a million couple?"

Yes, I have. Many times. "No and since when have you become so idealistic? I thought I should be the idealistic one?"

"Your idealism must have rubbed off on me in the past."

I gave a sarcastic laugh. This was getting out of control.

"Sapphire…" he called out my name and I tensed up. "I love you." A light breeze blew in from the small opened window by my side and I shivered. Whether it's really from the breeze or what he said, I do not know.

"You're drunk."

"I'm not. I'm completely sober."

"You're insane."

"I'm completely sane." I tried to look away from him. "Look at me, Saph." My heart slammed against my chest and I gripped the soft fabric of my skirt.

"I can't." I started to choke. Why am I choking?

"I love you, Saph. Look at me." he did not touch me or made a move to come near me. He just stayed there, sitting with a relaxed composure. "I knew that you would come today. In fact, I had it all planned out."

That caught my attention, and I willed myself to look at him. He continued, "I contacted your editor sometime ago and had her help me to plan another meeting with you. Then we came up with this. That's the real reason why she gave you the ticket to this fun fair."

"You had this all planned out?" I'm supposed to be angry because clearly I'm being set up, but I'm not. I'm just, astonished.

"Yes. The first meeting with you during Christmas was purely an accident, but since then, I knew I had to meet you once more to make sure to myself that I'm not some high school kid anymore. However, after our little sparring of words just now, I knew that I'm not completely over you as you are not over me."

"We're not in some TV series or a teen story book Trevor. These things don't happen." I inhaled deeply.

"Yes they do and I'm here to prove it."

I shook my head. Again, he said it. Those three words that holds so much empty promises. "I love you, Saph."

"Trevor, please stop that."

"I'm not until you've come to terms and admit the truth about your feelings for me."

You know that really annoying feeling deep down in the pit of the stomach and in your throat when you know you're about to cry? Like something cold got stuck in your throat and your stomach is whirling. Then your eyes started getting watery, ruining your entire make up and you start to sniff. That was exactly what I felt at that moment.

"I love you."

I covered my ears and pleaded him to shut it.

"Do you love me, Saph?" God no… I told him to shut it but not to ask an even more difficult question to answer!

"I don't know!"

"I know you know so I'll ask you again. Do you love me, Saph?"

Again I repeated that I do not know. Again he asked me the same question. It must have been a dozen times, I never kept count until finally, I could not hold onto my sanity any longer that I blurted out, "Yes I love you, alright?! Happy now!? I can't forget you and I worry about you ever since we parted! You had suicidal tendencies when we were young! I was always so tired worrying about you! Day after day I thought to myself whether you're coping with your depression well. Whether you're eating normally or you'd just skip meals for the whole day. When I finally manage to get you out of my mind, two years later, I meet you in a pub again! And now you're here apparently fine as hell which means that I was worrying for nothing and that makes me feel foolish especially since you start crapping that you still love me which of course it a lie because… because…"

"You're rambling." Trevor started to chuckle and I blushed as I wiped off my tears.

"I'm not…" I muttered. Embarrassed as I was, I felt like a whole block of stone has been lifted off my suffocating chest. It was then that I noticed again, that he never made any attempt to touch me, respecting the little personal space that I have left with me.

"Well, since you've oh so dramatically confessed your love to me," he started off, his arrogance and ego back in its rightful place, "Do you want to give it a try once more?"

I debated whether to use my handbag and have a good nice swing at him, or agree to his proposal. I thought and I thought. In the end, I gave an attempt to slap him. Of course, he blocked it successfully but not good enough. I gripped the handle of my bang and swung my arm as hard as I could at him. The moment my bag hit him, he howled in pain as I used my two and a half inches heel to stamp on his foot. I grinned widely, feeling at the very least, my pride coming back. Do you think I would actually let him off when he has humiliated me that easily?

I started to laugh and despite the red markings on his face that would most probably end up on a bruise, he smiled. With the hand that was still gripping mine, he tugged me forward, not bothering that it caused the Ferris wheel car to shake a bit dangerously.

I landed on top of him and he hugged me in a tight embrace. He entangled his hand in mind and I couldn't help but rested my head against his when I've taken a seat properly next to him.

As if on cue, the Ferris wheel started to move again, moving up higher up into the air while we quietly enjoyed each other's presence above the artificial diamond stars that were twinkling beneath up happily…