Friends. Friends are the one thing that, for a time, I remained uncertain of.
As I am sure you have concluded, pessimism is deeply ingrained within me, which inevitably brought about a difficult question: To trust or not to trust? Even one like me cannot live forever alone. But how can one reconcile one's self to being near to everyone and close to none?
I have reached this conclusion: Trust who you will. But know that they will, unfalteringly, hurt you. Friends, in the truest sense of the word, come along only once in several lifetimes. I am fortunate enough to have many lifetimes to live; most, however, are not.
Karalyn woke that evening, feeling as exhausted as if she had not slept at all. The aching in her chest continued, but it seemed to be lessened somehow by her weeping that morning. She stretched stiffly, venturing out of her room with a pile of clean clothes, intent on showering before she met Gina and Patrick for work.
When she walked into the living room, though, she was met by Tristan. "Oh. Hi." She was unsure what tone she should take with him; he had seen her perhaps at her most vulnerable that morning, had witnessed her rather ragged break from her old life. It was difficult to be cold and superior after a thing like that.
"I'm not staying," Tristan assured her, as if nothing had taken place. "I just came to check on Edom. He asked that you come to my apartment after your shift."
"Why?" Karalyn asked, startled. Edom wasn't considering giving her away again, was he?
"He is still not feeling well," Tristan said soberly. "The sun exposure has made him ill. Where should I meet you after your shift?"
Karalyn hesitated, not understanding why Edom couldn't just let her wander the apartment on her own. "I usually eat with Gina and Tanya…"
"Perfect," Tristan said. "I live just down the hall from Tanya. I'll meet you there." He strode out of the room, then, with no attempt at goodbye.
Karalyn blinked after him for a moment, frowning, and went into the bathroom, determined to get her shower. When she looked in the mirror she gasped; she looked like death. Her skin was paler than it had ever been before, the purplish gray shadows under her eyes making her look something like the Joker. She had not realized how chapped her lips were, most likely from licking them so often, and her hair was ratted and dirty-looking. That would be why Edom was breathing so funny earlier, she thought with a scowl. I stink.
She quickly showered, scrubbing at herself vigorously, trying especially to wash the grime from her hair. By this time she got out she felt, and looked, quite a bit more alive. She changed into clean clothes and went down to the second floor to meet Gina and Patrick.
"You look better today," Gina commented.
Karalyn pursed her lips. "Yeah. By the way, thanks for giving me a heads-up that I looked dead."
"Edom doesn't have any mirrors?" Gina shot back. "Besides, I didn't know what you look like normally- how could I say anything? I actually have tact."
Despite the light tone of their conversation Karalyn could see the grim set of Patrick's face and sense the tension behind Gina's voice. "Is something wrong?" Karalyn inquired.
"Nothing any of us can do anything about," Gina replied sadly. Patrick gestured to get her attention, giving her a meaningful look and jerking his head toward Karalyn. Gina sighed. "Most of the officers who were taken are dead."
Karalyn gaped. "What? How?"
"the city has an arena," Gina explained slowly, "where they hold what they call the Olympics. They throw groups of three or four slaves into the pit and watch them kill each other."
Karalyn grimaced, her stomach twisting. "That's awful."
Gina nodded. "There are only seven of them left. The Farleighs will probably claim them."
"Well, we won't have to worry about that anymore," Karalyn murmured.
"Why?" Gina asked suspiciously.
Karalyn shrugged, silently cursing herself for her slip; she had no idea how much they could know. "Edom came up with an idea. I don't think anybody else is going to be looking for me."
Gins looked like she wanted to ask more, but she knew that she would get no more out of Karalyn; so she took her word for it and went back to work.
When the shift was over they headed up to Tanya's apartment, to find Tristan already there. "Tristan!" Gina said brightly, sitting at the kitchen table. "You haven't come to see us in a while."
"I know, it has been a while," Tristan said, sounding apologetic. "I actually came to get Karalyn."
"Get Karalyn?" Gina asked curiously, looking at Karalyn. "For what?"
"She's going to my apartment tonight," Tristan replied.
"Why?" Gina inquired; Patrick was frowning.
"Edom is ill," Tanya told them.
"Oh?" Gina's tone turned to concern. "Is he going to be alright?"
"Of course," Tristan said. "He just wanted the apartment to himself tonight. Tanya, can we talk?"
Tanya nodded, leading him down the hallway.
The three slaves sat in silence for a few minutes, just looking at each other. "Um, where's the bathroom?" Karalyn asked.
"Second door on the right," Gina told her, gesturing down the hall.
Karalyn went into the hall, pausing instinctively after a moment when she heard something that caught her attention.
"I'm worried about Edom," Tristan said softly.
"Why?" Tanya asked curiously. "I thought it was just sun-poisoning."
"I did, too," Tristan responded. "But when I saw him tonight he looked just as bad. He should be better by now."
"That is strange," Tanya said slowly. "If he's not better by morning bring him to me."
"Good," Tristan sounded only partially relieved. "But there are other things…"
Karalyn abandoned her eavesdropping and went to the bathroom, returning quietly after to sit at the kitchen table. Cartons of food were clustered on it; they had obviously gotten a delivery. "What does Tanya do?" She asked curiously after a moment.
Gina frowned. "She's a doctor. Why?"
"No reason," Karalyn shrugged.
Patrick made a strange sound, pulling paper and a pencil out of his pocket. He scribbled quickly, then slid it over so Karalyn could read it. "Don't go with Tristan," it said. "I don't trust him."
Karalyn frowned. "Why not?" She asked, confused.
Patrick wrote some more. "I'm not sure. But he's a faker. I know it."
"A faker?" Karalyn echoed, no less puzzled. Tristan, of all the people she had met there, seemed to be the one who wore himself out in the open. "What, exactly, is he faking?"
"We don't know," Gina told her. "But Patrick can tell these things about people. He's always right."
Karalyn looked back to Patrick; he nodded, crumpling the paper and stuffing it back into his pocket as they heard Tanya and Tristan returning.
"The food's here," Gina said cheerfully, giving no sign that they had just been talking about them.
"Good, I'm starved," Tanya sighed, settling into a chair and helping herself to the rice and noodles held by the containers. Karalyn opened a carton near her and found teriyaki chicken.
They all ate heartily, though Karalyn stole uneasy glances at Tristan throughout the meal. Was he hiding something? She found it hard to imagine, though she recalled him saying himself, "If there's one thing I'm good at, it's distraction." Still, she could not think of a way to avoid going with him. Edom quite obviously trusted him- she would have to have faith in that.
When the meal was done Karalyn stalled for as long as she could; when she sensed that Tristan was catching on, though, she suggested they leave. Gina and Patrick both gave her sympathetic and worrying looks as she followed Tristan out the door.
"I am afraid that they do not like me," Tristan said as they walked down the hall toward his apartment.
"Tanya likes you," Karalyn replied evasively.
Tristan smiled wryly as he unlocked and opened his door, ushering her into his simple apartment. "True. But I see how your human friends eye me." He sprawled on his couch, looking at her expectantly.
Karalyn sat in a chair across from him, tucking her legs up underneath herself as she considered her options. "They don't trust you," she said at last.
"No?" Tristan did not seem bothered by it in the least.
"No," Karalyn replied. "They think you're a fraud."
Tristan's eyes darkened. "What kind of fraud?" He asked, but Karalyn only shrugged. "Well, I'm not." He seemed to be trying to make his voice lighter. "You can ask me anything you want."
Karalyn gave him a dry smile. "Sure I can. Whether you'll answer honestly…"
"I swear I will," Tristan told her. "I have nothing to hide. Besides, I have nothing better to do."
She frowned. "Don't you sleep?" She asked him.
Tristan shrugged. "When I need to."
Karalyn studied him for a few moments, considering her next words. Frankness had done her well so far. "Why are you worried about Edom?"
"I thought we were talking about me," Tristan said. "And who says I'm worried about Edom?"
"I overheard you telling Tanya when I went to the bathroom."
"Ah." He smiled slightly. "Well, Edom's my friend."
Karalyn frowned. "I meant what's wrong with him that has you worried," she clarified.
"He's my only friend," Tristan said, his mouth twisted in a crooked smile.
He was trying to distract her from her question, and it was working. "You're being evasive," Karalyn chided. "Edom is not your only friend."
Tristan met her gaze, his face serious. "Yes, he is."
Karalyn's frown deepened. "What about Tanya? And all the exes?"
Tristan shook his head, his gaze wry once more. "True friends are not so common as you think, Karalyn. It took Edom and I decades to get there."
Karalyn rubbed her eyes. "Maybe you don't try hard enough."
"Or maybe you people try too hard." Tristan shrugged. "So, you were going to go to art school? What for?"
"Music," she mumbled, really not wanting to talk about it. "Why don't you have a slave?"
Tristan shrugged once more. "The same reason Edom never did."
"And that is…?"
"I never had a use for one."
"I'm sure you could have come up with something." That came out more snidely than Karalyn had intended it to be.
Tristan's smile widened as he read into what she was saying. "No. I prefer to be chosen, not to choose."
Karalyn grimaced, and they were both silent for a long while. She shifted uncomfortably, terribly bored and wishing that she had a watch. How long until sunrise? It couldn't be far off.
"Why are you so interested in the things going on here?" Tristan inquired, breaking the silence, never looking up from the notebook he had taken up a while before.
Karalyn looked at him, frowning. "Because it's my job," she replied. "It's the only reason Edom kept me."
Tristan glanced up at last, seeming amused. "If you say so," he said. "I meant the more personal things."
"Why should I tell you?" Karalyn demanded. "You never answered my question."
"I answered one of them," he countered. "Besides, you like explaining yourself."
Karalyn scowled at him, folding her arms silently. He didn't need to be told that she just wanted to know what she was getting into, that she had fully committed herself to her new, if not chosen, life.
Tristan laughed. "Alright then. It's nearly sunrise, anyway- let's return you."
Karalyn stood eagerly, practically fleeing into the hallway before she froze. There, before the elevator, was t he pale man she had seen before. His lank hair hung about his face, making the circles around his deep-set eyes seem darker. He stared her in the eye for a moment as fear rose in her chest, and then he was gone.
"Are we going?" Tristan asked from behind her, making her start violently.
"Yeah," she replied, trying to keep the tremor from her voice. That was the second time she had seen him in the city; could she have imagined it both times? It seemed unlikely.
They arrived in the apartment to see Edom walking slowly from the kitchen. His movements were sluggish, stiff somehow, and Karalyn thought that, if anything, he looked worse. As she walked closer she saw a plate of untouched food on the kitchen table. Karalyn stepped up to him, her face creased by a worried frown. "I need to talk to you," she told him quietly, peering into his face. It was strained, his pupils unnaturally wide. "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine," he said harshly, pushing her away and stepping back several feet. His chest was rising and falling hard, as if from some intense effort. His mouth was open as he raggedly breathed.
"You don't look fine," Tristan responded, his own face worried.
Edom looked at him suddenly, as if he hadn't realized that he had come in. "You need to get her out of here," he said, his voice tight.
"What's going on?" Karalyn demanded, confused but unwilling to step closer to Edom. She could take a warning. The purple slashes seemed to stand out more starkly and pulse against Edom's pale skin.
"Edom, what-"
Tristan did not finish his sentence as his friend collapsed into a heap on the floor. Both Karalyn and Tristan rushed to his side; Karalyn put her hand to his forehead and winced. "He's like ice," she whispered, horrified.
"Idiot," Tristan murmured, pulling Edom's eyes open to inspect them.
"Should I get Tanya?" Karalyn inquired, her worry turning into fear.
Tristan shook his head, then looked at her. "He needs blood."
"This is the disease?" Karalyn asked, stricken. "Do we have a bank or somewhere we could get some?"
"We don't have time." Tristan was still staring at her face.
"You want me to do it?" Karalyn yelped, shocked.
Tristan took her hand, earnestly trying to comfort and persuade her. "You're the only one nearby with healthy blood," he told her. "He wouldn't need much."
Karalyn took a few deep, frightened breaths, then looked at Edom. She wasn't overly attached to the man, but she might one day be. After all, she would be living with him for a long time, it seemed. She had committed herself to this new life- how committed was she?
"I'll get a knife," she said at last, forcing down the jitters in her stomach.
"No," Tristan told her. "I'll bite you."
"You'll what?" Karalyn yelped, in spite of her resolve to be fearless.
Tristan met her eyes frankly. "It will hurt less than a knife, I promise you," he told her. He lifted the hand that he was still holding.
Karalyn closed her eyes, prepared for a deep, tearing pain. She felt a small prick, and when she opened her eyes it was done. Blood was welling up from two parallel wounds, running over quickly.
As soon as her blood was past her skin Edom's eyes burst open and before he could move his lips were latched onto her arm.
The desperation of his thirst was obvious to her, but still he was gentle. It was uncomfortable, the pulling of him sucking the blood from her wounds, but he did it slowly, taking pains not to pull too hard. He drank for what seemed like a good while, his eyes- which had gone a frightening shade of stark white- slowly regaining some of their former color. Karalyn watched in morbid fascination as he drank, hardly realizing anymore that it was even her own arm he fed from.
He looked up at her then, his eyes meeting hers, and his face took on a horror-struck expression. He released her arm instantly, laying back on the floor, his breathing hard but lacking the ragged quality it had before.
"Enough," he gasped, turning his face away from them. "Cover it up. I don't want to smell it anymore."
Karalyn frowned, at first not understanding what he was saying, until Tristan stood and retrieved a small towel from the kitchen and pressed it to the still-bleeding punctures on her forearm. She took it from him, pressing it to the wounds in an effort to get the bleeding to stop; already she was feeling light-headed.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Tristan demanded, his voice no longer worried but angry. "Why were you so thirsty?"
"I don't want to talk about it." Edom's voice held a melancholy quality.
Tristan growled deep in his throat. "Great timing, too- I have to leave tonight!" He scowled down at Edom, who remained laying on the floor, his face turned away.
"Have fun," Edom said dully.
"Fun!" Tristan sounded extremely exasperated. He turned to Karalyn. "You are to watch him like a hawk for at least the next three days! I'll tell Tanya to check in on you." He glared down at Edom. "Ugh. I've got to go."
He walked out the door and Karalyn just sat there awkwardly, wondering what exactly she should do. Edom just laid there, as if unaware that anyone was in the room with him, his breath coming more easily now. Already the purple rash on his skin was seeming to dissipate.
"Umm… do you need help getting up?" She asked at length, completely unsure what else she should ask.
"I'm sorry," Edom said lowly, his voice thick with some emotion. It sounded like sorrow. Or anger. It was hard for her to tell which.
Again Karalyn found herself unaware of what her response should be. "Don't worry about it." It sounded lame, even in her ears.
Edom turned his head to look at her, new darkness in his eyes. "How could I not?" He eyed the bloodied towel pressed to her arm and looked away again, his jaw clenching. "There are bandages in the bathroom. If you bring them here I will help you with it."
Karalyn went in, trying to maneuver and find the bandages in the bathroom cabinet without getting blood all over everything. As she returned to the living room she swayed a little and sat hard on the couch, her head spinning.
Edom was by her side in a moment, not looking overly steady, himself. "I'm so sorry," he said, sounding frustrated with himself. "I forget how physically tiring it is…"
"I'm fine," Karalyn told him. "Just a little light-headed. I'll be good soon."
Edom took the bandages from her hands, gently removing the towel and looking at the puncture marks. "I'm glad you let him bite you," he said softly. "If you had cut yourself it would take much longer to heal."
"Well, that's a bright side," Karalyn said weakly. She attempted to smile at him.
He did not smile in return, but instead began delicately winding bandages around her arm, making sure that there was enough pressure to help stem the bleeding. When he was done he let go of her immediately.
"Are you feeling better?" Karalyn inquired, trying to be at least polite.
"I'm beginning to," he replied. "It's starting to make its way into my system."
It being my blood, she thought. Surprisingly it did not bring the sick feeling that she expected it to. He had been genuinely sick. How could it be wrong to give him the medicine he needed? He hadn't drunk all of her blood, he hadn't killed her or hurt her.
"I really am sorry," Edom said, so softly that she barely heard him. "About all of this."
"Edom, you don't need to feel bad," Karalyn told him. "You needed something. I gave it to you."
Edom looked up at her at last, his face incredulous. "How can you be so uncaring about it?" He demanded, sounding upset. "I just…" He stopped himself, looking genuinely sick.
Karalyn frowned at him. "You drank my blood," she said, sounding more calm about it than she actually felt, though not much. "Edom, you needed it. You didn't hurt me."
"Not physically," he countered, looking down at his hands. "Not yet." He sighed.
Karalyn's frown deepened, almost with annoyance. "You sigh too much," she informed him.
He looked up at her, arching an eyebrow. "You frown too much."
"Says the man who never smiles."
--
Karalyn woke up in the chair in Edom's living room, curled up under a blanket. Edom was laying on the couch, still asleep. She had no idea what time it was, but she knew that she would not be able to go back to sleep, so she went into the bathroom and brushed her teeth.
When she returned She went over to Edom, looking down at him for a moment. He looked exhausted, even while sleeping. The purple sun-poisoning was still fading from his face and hands, and she laid her hand on his forehead; his skin was still very cold.
She jumped when someone knocked on the door, sucking in her breath sharply and trying not to make noise. Edom did not seem to notice any of this, and continued to slumber.
Karalyn opened the door to see Gina standing there. "Is everything alright?" Gina asked worriedly. "Tristan told Tanya to have me check on you, and when you didn't show up for your shift I figured that something bad had happened."
Karalyn's eyes widened. It was that late? "Edom's sick," she told Gina in a whisper, stepping out of the apartment and shutting the door behind her to talk to her friend. "He went too long without blood or something…"
Gina looked at the new bandage on Karalyn's arm understandingly. "Is he still sick? Is there anything I can do?"
"I think he's still sick," Karalyn answered. "You said that Tanya gets her blood from a source, right? Could you maybe bring some? I'm sure he could use it."
"Of course I can," Gina nodded enthusiastically. "I'll go do that now. Do you need anything?"
Karalyn shook her head. "I don't think so," she replied. "Just the blood for him."
"Okay, not a problem." Gina gave her a little salute and went into the elevator.
Karalyn eased back into the apartment, closing the door softly behind her before turning- to see Edom's eyes open and looking at her, holding a bemused expression. "Was that Gina?" He inquired.
"Yes," she replied, moving to sit in the chair across from him again. "She was checking on you, to make sure you didn't need anything."
"You told her no?" Edom said, though it was not much of a question.
"I told her to bring you some blood," Karalyn said softly.
"You what?" Edom demanded. "I'm fine!"
"Like you were fine last night?" Karalyn shot back. "Look, you're still ice cold, your rash hasn't gone away yet, and your eyes still have some white around the pupils."
Edom raised an eyebrow at her. "You're very observant."
"To know that you look like hell?" She asked.
"To have realized by now the symptoms of the disease," he replied dryly.
"Well, it was kind of obvious you were sick earlier," she informed him. "It was not that hard to connect the pieces."
Edom nodded, rolling over to lay on his back, staring up at the ceiling.
"Are you hungry?" She asked tentatively. She was not much of a cook, but she could manage something.
"No," he replied.
They were quiet again for a while, both lost in their own thoughts. "Okay this might be rude," Karalyn said at last. "But why did you go so long without drinking? I mean, you had to have known what was going to happen."
Edom swallowed, his face creasing into something like disgust. "I despise drinking," he told her. "It is… it is the worst part of this disease. It is horrid and inhuman and sickening. I do it as little as possible."
Karalyn frowned. "So you've had episodes like these before?" She asked. How could he live in a cycle like that?
"Not often," he replied. "And not in a long while. I usually keep enough in my system to keep me going."
"So what happened this time?" She asked, confused.
"I thought I had it under control," he said quietly. "Apparently I did not."
"Obviously," Karalyn tried to keep herself from scoffing. "You didn't realize it before?"
Edom's jaw clenched and he refused to look at her, not responding.
There was another knock on the door and Gina walked in without waiting for an answer. In her hands she held two plastic grocery bags. "This one's for you," she said, handing the one from her left hand to Karalyn. "You look like Edom's not the only one who could use some food. Edom, I'll go put this in a glass for you."
"No, I'll drink it in the kitchen," Edom said firmly, taking the bag from her hand and standing. "You keep Karalyn company."
Gina watched him as he walked into the closed-off portion of the kitchen, shaking her head; Karalyn opened the bag she'd been given to find a box of pizza within. "Oh, thank you," she sighed, gulping a slice down.
Gina smiled at her, sitting in another chair. "I can't believe Edom went that long without it," she said, sounding genuinely confused. "He knows better."
Karalyn shrugged, starting on her second slice. "I don't know what he was thinking."
Edom emerged from the kitchen, no sign on him that he had just drunk a unit of blood. Already he was starting to look better, and Karalyn was glad that she had insisted on it.
"How's your research going, Edom?" Gina inquired, obviously trying to make small talk.
Edom grimaced. "Obviously not very well."
Gina frowned. "That was why you weren't drinking?" She demanded.
Edom nodded, now looking ashamed of himself. "I thought I had found it," he told her. "I could have sworn that it was working. But then, in the last few days, I got worse than I ever have."
"It's a good thing Karalyn was here," Gina commented.
Edom's shamed look deepened. "I'd rather she hadn't been," he said.
Karalyn continued eating, absorbing this conversation and trying to unravel it. She had no idea what they were talking about, but she stored the information away for later.
Gina left shortly after, claiming the need to get back to Tanya and assure her that Edom was getting better. They bid her goodbye and watched her leave.
"What was she talking about?" Karalyn asked after she had gone.
"When?" Edom asked absently.
"What was the reason you weren't drinking?" Karalyn clarified. "What did you think you'd found."
"The protein," Edom said slowly, looking at her.
Karalyn blinked at him for a moment, not understanding.
"The protein found in healthy blood," Edom elaborated. "The protein that keeps down our disease. I thought that I had found it. I had been drinking my substitute for two weeks, and it seemed to be working just fine, until two or three days ago."
Karalyn's brows furrowed. "You're trying to make a synthetic blood?" She asked, shocked. Edom nodded and she whistled, sitting back in her chair. "That's… that's interesting. I never would have thought about it."
"Most people wouldn't," Edom said dryly.
"How long have you been working on it?" Karalyn asked, genuinely interested now.
Edom gave her a small almost-smile. "A few decades. Longer than you've been alive."
That was hard for Karalyn to grasp. He looked no older than twenty-five. How old was he, really? Did vampirism truly give you the gift of immortality?
"It delays aging, the disease," Edom told her, as if sensing the direction of her thoughts. "We do not live forever, although it seems like it. We do, however, live a very, very long time."
Karalyn was still trying to absorb all of this new information. "Is there anything I can do to help?" She asked, suddenly excited at the prospect. Edom was talking about giving a safe alternative for vampires' health. He was talking about saving hundreds or thousands of lives; of introducing vampires into society, not as monsters, but as people with a problem and a solution. He was talking about changing the world. "Do you need blood to study? I could donate."
Edom's smile actually widened, nearly the size of a normal one. "I have enough blood to study," he told her. "But thank you for offering."