A/N: I wrote this whilst I was camping for a week and missing a certain someone :(
I'm sat alone in our darkened room and the dim glow projecting from the clock states eruditely that it is 11.45pm. The bed seems so big now that only one soul occupies it and the silence here haunts me more than my thoughts of you.
Many times I have been alone here and I have continued to live on with only a slight fear for you. But today...something has changed...
I know now you are not coming back to me. So I sit here once again, frightened and terribly alone.
I think back to the past few days. So much has happened and yet so little is remembered. I cut myself this morning, that I recall. A thought threw me into a trance and the glass just slipped from my grasp.
It wasn't until I saw the dark crimson trickle down my arm, pale and deadly white in contrast, that I realised I was bleeding. I hadn't even felt the pain. Physical feelings seem to evade me these days and my body is left an empty shell.
My mind however... emotional heartbreak is noticed in my conscious and it's enough to break me, stop me from functioning to the very point where I fear I may pass out.
It's 11.46pm now. Another minute has crept along unnoticed. Time has a way of passing by slowly, dragging on when it is not needed, not wanted when a loved one has gone.
I haven't cried yet. I don't know if I ever will. Salty drops mean nothing to you now and I fear that if a tear should fall, a part of your memory may be washed away and I couldn't bear that. My humanity would float away with it.
I miss you.
Three single words that say so much but mean so little now. I used to say them often when you came back and in my letters to you. You always replied with an equal phrase and an assurance that soon you would return to me.
Why would you lie? A broken promise...it's not like you...
Another minute has passed and midnight is slowly descending upon me. I am beginning to fear the coming twilight, passing into a new morning, a new day without you. I'm not sure I want to be awake for that, be awake for anything for that matter.
It'll all be so different now. Nothing is the same without you.
I love you.
I hope you remember that, wherever you may be. I dread to think of where you lay...
I try not to think at all but occasionally a thought slips through and I fall back into my trance as I did this morning.
I think I'll try to sleep now. The twilight is nearly here and along with it comes the apprehension, just as I knew it would. I'm not entirely sure what I am afraid of though. I already know I have lost you, what else is there to fear?
I shall wonder aimlessly over to my bed and slip silently under the covers, not daring to look at the empty side of the bed. I imagine a slight smile will sneak across my face as I fall into the deepest sleep I shall ever have...
A/N: Fin! Any ideas on how I can improve the ending? Criticism appreciated...but you know flamers will be scorned xD