-Just to make sure, because I'm not so sure-

Oh, heavy eyes, and heavy eyes, plus the full weight of the mind
and it's just too much, so that I must leave something behind
What do I prove? and to whom?
doom in disguise, oh doom can cry, so let its tears fall this time
I've forgotten one, that must count for some, but I cannot lose what is mine
now, all gone, with each other consumed

Oh, a broken heart, now hardened hard, plus the density of a soul torn apart
and I can't escape, can't get away, oh I have no running start
How do I live, and still let others live?
I am in separate parts, scared and alarmed, knowing harm holds this heart
and I can't turn away, captivate, I turn my desolation into art
How can I both give and forgive, and still live and let live?

I want to tear it out to make sure I bleed
I want to feel it wet in my hands so then I can believe
I want it to ice over and turn to stone
I want to throw it far and away so I don't feel so alone

My soul knows no other with the same type of soul
I have emptied inside; I just want to feel whole
I need to hold my heart pumping to make sure it still bleeds
Hear my blood humming to make sure I'm complete

Oh, heavy eyes, and heavy eyes, plus the full weight of the mind
I can't touch that much, it's just enough, so that I must leave something behind
What do I leave? my grief?
Oh, unheard cries, silent she cries, and shies away, this is what she hides
she covers her ingenious pain, and just waits for it to die
I have patient grace, agony-free,
so there's nothing to do but watch and wait and pray for relief,
Just to make sure, because I'm not so sure.

Copyright 2000 by Susanne Estelle Hendrickson