I sat on the beach alone, sandals off with my feet in the water; shivering as the cold water lapped playfully at my toes. I was staring out at the endless blue of the ocean, the waves crashing together violently, the wind swirling above. Dark clouds loomed over head and microscopic drops of water were falling from the sky only slightly warmer than the water at my feet.

There was a faint sound of children running and playing farther down the beach. To me, it sounded like a distant echo. I didn't turn to look at them; there was no energy left in my body, not even enough to move further up the beach. The tide was coming in but I just continued to stare out at the violent waves. It was almost as if the waves showed a part of myself I wasn't aware of. The inner turmoil that I felt every day sinceā€¦

Wrapping my arms around my knees tightly, I felt that I would fall apart without them holding me together. I imagine the pain I felt was the equivalent to having ones heart torn out. I closed my eyes and sighed again. Lifting my face towards the sky, I felt empty, hollow; like I was less than a person.

I plunged my hands into the sand beside me and cringed as the small grains found their way under my nails. I squeezed my hands into fists and lifted them. Opening my fingers one by one, I saw the sand clumped together in the shape of my fist. I turned my hand upside down and let the sand fall to the ground. The water washed up and overtook the sand I had just dropped. When it receded the sand looked undisturbed. If only the water could wash over me and leave me like I had been before hehad disrupted my life.

Surrendering to the rain and picking myself up off the ground, I sauntered back to my apartment. The drops started to fall in faster intervals but it didn't quicken my pace. The wind was stronger now, blowing the rain straight into my face. It was summer, but the weather had been rainy and humid for weeks. I heard a small rustle in the trees beside me and peered through the branches. Upon further inspection, it seemed the rustle was merely the wind.

I could see now that it was getting darker and I would be happy to be back inside where it was warm and dry. Shivering, I held my arms around myself as if it would warm me. Feeling a surge of hunger, I knew my body craved something fresh.

I got to the door and let myself in; the apartment was quiet as always. I didn't bother to take off my shoes, not caring as the sand made a path behind me. I headed straight to my room and closed the door.

Looking into the mirror, but not seeing my reflection, I concentrated harder and saw the girl looking back at me. She was dirty blonde, with long stringy hair; damp from the walk home. Under my eyes were two dark purple bruises. Only, they weren't bruises. They reminded me of the poor sleep that I always got. When I finally collapsed from exhaustion, I woke frequently.

The girl in the mirror had pale skin, inhumanly waxy-looking; my normally rosy cheeks no longer held their color. The clothes I wore hung off me as if they were a size too big. I never noticed what I wore anymore; it all looked the same.

Of all the changes I had noticed, not one of them scared me as much as my eyes. I remembered them blue and sparkling with life. Now they were dead and lifeless, holding none of their previous lustre. I ran my fingers through my hair in an attempt to make it less flat. I only ended up getting my fingers caught in the knots. I pulled them out of my hair and picked my brush up off the dresser. I forced it through the knots until it was smooth.

I held my hands over my face, exhausted, and decided I should get in the shower. I was cold and a hot shower would make me stop shivering. I sighed again and grabbed some clothes to bring with me to the bathroom.

The hot water spluttered and pounded down on me. It ran down my body and I felt renewed. I saw rivers of soap making their own paths down the drain. Because the water was searing my skin, I didn't feel the warm tears running down my face. The only way I'd known I was crying was because my vision had blurred.

I didn't bother drying my hair, there was no one to impress anymore. I didn't notice the clothes that I had put on and it didn't matter. I was going to hunt, no need to look decent for what I was about to kill.

I grabbed my keys and my phone and headed out the front door. The good news was people liked to be out in the rain at night, especially the smokers.

I had known love, in the strongest and purest sense of the word. In the, "can't eat, can't sleep without him" kind of way. To be loved was the single greatest thing in this world, wasn't it? We had been perfect, but now he was gone. I could remember his face of course, it was impossible to forget. He had the face of an angel. My angel. There was only him and no one else. Not ever, and never again.

I could still remember, with perfect clarity, the day I met him.