This is written from the point of view of my friend Shannon.
If I were a superhero, I know what my power would be: Invisibility. I'm good at it already. I'm the middle child in my family where my brother is a popular skateboarder and my sister is a genius. My brother takes growth hormones and my sister is unnaturally tall in a family where everyone is short. At school, I'm the friend of Elodie, the freaky smart girl of the grade. Yet nobody notices me.
She does crazy things that everyone talks about and all of her friends get noticed. Except me. Yay...I guess.
Once at Outdoor Ed., this one really annoying kid named Darren More walked by. Elodie, my friend Eileen and I were talking by the door. He waved and said, "Hey Elodie, hey Eileen, hey Anna!"
In case you haven't noticed, my name is not Anna. It's Shannon.
I play the flute, as about 20 other girls do. I'm in the second section and next to last chair. Elodie plays the drums and she's the only 7th grade drummer that just started. Eileen's perfectly nice to everyone, so she gets noticed.
In May, my English teacher called my name. "Shannon, come and get your paper". The guy that sat next to me spoke up, "Who's Shannon?" I stared at him, "I have sat next to you since the beginning of the year. My name is Shannon."
The only time anyone but my friends see me at all is when I take my palm pilot out. I have something wrong with my eyes, so I have really bad handwriting. I use a palm pilot to write.
People have repeatedly stolen my keyboard. Red haired annoying Tanner stole it and returned it to me saying, "Thanks, Sharon."
Let me say it again. My name is Shannon.
Everyone thinks it's strange that I don't like anyone. I just don't, okay? Deal with it, everyone.
But in general I have a blast making fun of my enemies. The strange thing is, they're all Elodie's enemies because they don't even know me. So, put it this way: They're my enemies, but I'm not their enemy. Is that a good thing?
There's something in my school called the "Elodie fan club". It's basically a couple guys that hang around and make fun of Elodie: Darren, Dan, Tanner, and squint-eyes.
Squint-Eyes is a Caucasian guy that Elodie and I call Squint-Eyes because his eyes are squintey looking. Ken Fords is a guy that is athletic, smart, ambitious, popular, and perfect. That's why I hate him. Well, he makes fun of Elodie too, plus he's a jerk. Squint-Eyes is so totally working at Popeyes someday!
Back to my family. My dad is a perfectionist and demands that everything be perfect to the highest degree...that doesn't even make sense. My mom's cool, she's a piano teacher, but the strange thing is, she never taught me to play...maybe I'm invisible to the piano, too.
My brother is an idiot, but he's awesome. Elodie says that I contradict myself with that statement, but to me it is perfectly logical. You can totally be an idiot and still be totally awesome!!He's a skater and has a million weird and perverted friends. That's why I hate Avril Lavigne's song "Sk8ter Boi". It's so unrealistic. I mean, first of all skaters generally don't play guitar, and 99 of the time, they don't become superstars. My brother spends his time on the computer watching skate videos and doing weird stuff like that one time he chucked rice out the window of the school bus.
Oh yeah, that was cool. He had this bag of rice from Home Ed. and for some reason he decided to throw it out the window. It landed on this one car's window and the driver's jaw dropped. He looked like he had seen a ghost!
Nolan also made up all of my daily quotes, such as, "Don't hurt me, I'm the gingerbread man". I always say that when Elodie looks like she's going to hurt me for teasing her about Jordan Sulliban. (If you don't know who that is, read "Anonymous Stalker".) There's also the vegetarian gangster phrase I say all the time:
"DUDE! PASS THE TOFU!! I'M STARVIN IN THE STREETS HERE!!"
My friend Katelyn lives across the street from me. We've been friends since birth. Our parents were friends in college and even the 3 years I lived in California, we still contacted each other and remained friends. She's really girly and I love annoying her with my intolerance for shopping.
They say I'm a tomboy, but I don't play any sports. I'm definitely not girly and you can't call me a nerd. I just don't fit into any categories or stereotypes and I delight in being different. I do things the "SHANNON WAY".
My friends are probably going to force me to go to the 8th grade dance. But if I do go, I'm not-I repeat, NOT- wearing a dress. Dresses hate me, no, they see me, but they positively hate me. I hate them too. Hey, that's my only mutual enemy and it's an inanimate object.
And Elodie has said that she'll force me to go to the prom as well. I've decided that I'm wearing a homemade shirt and old raggedy jeans. That's the Shannon way. REBELLION!!
Speaking of rebellion, that brings me to my hatred of the school system. It is screwed up. I won't say how, cause it will positively ruin my day. It is the only topic that I am capable of ranting and raving about. But I never do, because, as I said, it will destroy my mood. I just hate it. End of discussion.
I also hate the social totem pole. Some people call it the popularity pyramid, some call it the status chain. I call it a totem pole because Indians are cool!
Back to the totem pole. Popular people are nuts, Margie Mechant is evil, I watch and laugh as they climb up...high above everyone else...and fall back down with a crash. I'm eagerly awaiting Margie Mechant's crash, as I have been for the last 4 years. She's slippin...she's slippin...down and down...
Clicheness is weird and unnecessary. Better to do things the Shannon way. Watch and laugh. Someday I'll be seen.