Fact or Fiction?

A vampire/supernatural being essay...or not.

Do you believe in vampires? Surely you know, or have heard of Real Vampires? Well, if you know of, or call yourself one I am about to dash to itsy bitty pieces; you, or they are NOT actual vampires. Sorry, these so-called Real Vampires have one very problematic situation on their hands, for you see:

Vampire, the very word is to mean "one who comes BACK from the dead".

Problem 1:

How can they be real vampires when they were never dead to begin with? Quick answer is they are NOT!!

Problem 2:

Why would any actual vampire walk around in PUBLIC saying, or acting like such a hated, dark and vile creature? It'd be like me walking around in Nazi regalia screaming "Sieg Heil!", or shouting out to the world that I' m a (bleep)ing pedophile/child rapist! No one would do that if they were frigging sane! And vampires are not the owners of a brain the maturity of a fking five year old!

Problem 3:

What abilities does an actual, factual Vampire possess? Not really a problem, so much as a question.

From here on out, I will refer to these wannabe vampires as Real Vampires(R.V) and the actual vampires of legend, myth and folklore as True Vampires(T.V).

R.V's are merely ravers/goths/whiny kids/adults who want to be like their favorite creature, probably because their real lives suck. While I have no problem with people who imagine themselves in these sorts of situations, I do have a major problem when they go around wasting theirs, and everyone else's time in this needless crap...and most of all, when such people hurt others and lead other misguided souls astray.

Some people believe that the church of Europe created lies about vampires to control the masses actions, but then why do you believe such people? If the church lied to you, couldn't the person making such accusations be doing so as well? Now, I do not side with religion, nor with these accusers for I am a seeker of knowledge, not a sponge, but I will say not to take what I say for 100-percent truth.

From here on out, remember these words, young ones:

"The words of god are twisted by the mouths of men"

The meaning is, that any human, no matter how pure is still a human and thus can be impure as much as either you or I and may want to raise themselves up to a higher pedestal within this hierarchy we all call life. Therefor, do not believe just any word you hear.

Now, the question of whether I believe in Vampires, or even Werewolves should come to mind.

The short answer?

I do believe.

I do NOT believe.

Yes, both of those are correct. You see, I do not believe anything without actual evidence, neither the existence of, nor nonexistence of these creatures without proof. If I did, then I would merely repeat the mistakes of those who did not believe in air! When tools that could show it's existence were created, I know that those naysayers were embarrassed! Who couldn't be, I wonder?

You see, in searching for any answer, we must approach this with no preconceived notion of what we may find. Maybe we will find evidence of T.V's someday, or maybe not. Maybe science will create them someday, or maybe not.

Now, we must move on to the next thing:

Are vampires weak to sunlight?

Just read Van Von Hunterthe webcomic and manga and you will quickly and easily be shown the folly of such beliefs! Moonlight is just reflected sunlight, so why would a vampire be able to walk during the night, if he cannot during the day?

Next, the stake through the heart:

This may be a touchy subject, but here's one thing you must remember: They were specific about this! They did not say a blade, but a wooden stake! Why? Perhaps because unlike a sword, manufactured by impure humans, to commit villainous deeds the wooden stake was taken from the tree, a creation of god to give life? Such as the one that the vampire had taken away from him/her?

Crosses: will they harm a vampire?

Maybe it might, if the vamp was an atheist? Or, maybe the cross represents something more? Perhaps, the symbol of the one the vampire turned it's human back on?

Psi-Vamps:

Now, on to so-called Psi(blah)-vampires...really? Do I have to say-oh alright! This is not part of the vampire folklore, nor mythos as far as I have studied, and has only recently appeared ever since Anne-bloody-fking-Rice popped up on the scene. I hate this ditz. Plain and simple.

Vampires of the World:

This one is different, because I wish to point out that there are many different ideas as to what a vampire is depending on where you happen to be resting your gluteus maximus, but many different, and differing opinions exist, so search out these things for yourself, people!

Now, I do not come here claiming to know everything, merely to disperse the fog-addled minds who've become piss-drunk on these watered down stories and ideas they've been fed. Some of what I say may indeed be true, but much of what I say could be untrue, so learn at your own risk! I do not study vampires as a life's work, nor do I claim to be a Vampire Hunter either(shiver), but they are a very interesting group and I hate to see people shut the doors of the mind merely to shield themselves from the scary thought that there're things out there that science may not be able to explain, that we may not be the highest link in the food chain...

In closing, I will say that I aim not to be a vault of knowledge, but the skeleton key to every door that the masses try to keep shut so as to never see the dirty truth beneath.

"It is when the waters of truth are shallow, not dirty that men should think twice about immerising themselves within"-By some guy I can't remember. The last quote was my own devising.


For a few good vampire reads, check out:

Trinity Blood

Hellsing (Manga)

Vampire Knight (Manga: some amount of Anne Rice-ness, but I stomach it)

Nightwalker (Anime; you obviously notice the Japanese manga/cultural referrals? That's because they rock...at times)

And of course, Dracula...Bram Stoker ver. buddy!

I do not own any of the licenses to any manga/anime I may have referenced throughout this little rant/rave/essay. But I will never apologize for my opinions of Anne-bloody-fking-Rice, so if you wish for me to do so, bug off!

To any Real Vampires who read this: leave your name and address in a review so that I may hunt you down and drive a stake through your heart, not because you pose a threat to anyone but because I love irony.

Also, depending on what you say, I may actually continue this. But, until then it is complete.