i find myself getting lost in ordinary things
as if each moment is somewhat more significant than it seems.
brushing my teeth with spicy mint toothpaste
closing my eyes and relishing in the instance
as if it's more than just hygiene.
listening to downloaded music and singing along like I'm famous
but i'm still wearing my pajamas
and my hair hasn't been washed in days.
folding paper hearts in my room
and stringing them like christmas lights in pretty patterns.
mixing metaphors as i lay in the grass outside my house.
am i the only one losing myself in everyday activities?
my room has been pasted with photographs and magazine cutouts
things that remind me of who i was or who i wish i could be.
there's a collection of coke bottles situated on my desk
and i could stare at them for forever
getting lost in the swirl of glass.
spraying perfume like air freshener
because it smells nice
and not because it smells sexy.
playing songs on repeat
and still not knowing half of the words.
i feel like i'm drowning in this oblivion
drowning in the seemingly nothingness which is existence.
drowning in the air around me -
like i can't get enough of it
yet it's too much to handle.