Was it love?

by Elektra (7/19/08)

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I sit in my room, that prison of a home

Listening outside for the booming of your voice

You were supposed to always protect me from harm

Save me from myself and cause no alarm

I couldn't help but wonder, wonder what went wrong

What have I ever done to deserve your hate?

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Chorus:

I wasn't responsible for all of your troubles

But I was too young to know all of that

So I waited and waited and I prayed to God

I waited for you to really love me

But nothing changed, no nothing at all

I waited so long

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They say a mother's love is unconditional

They say the only person to leave is the child

But I know the truth, no matter the sting

You always wanted someone other than you got

Your words rang coarse (bit hard?) and your mouth pulled tight

I held back the tears, trembling up at you

No one could see the damage you caused

So I was left alone and gave up the fight

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Chorus:

I wasn't responsible for all of your troubles

But I was too young to know all of that

So I waited and waited and I prayed to God

I waited for you to really love me

But nothing changed, no nothing at all

I waited forever

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You said you loved me and wrapped me in your arms

But love doesn't wound or leave me (you?) alone

No matter what you did I always blamed myself

My arms are the proof for all that you ignored

My heart holds the memories, the terror, the shame and the pain

But you refused to look and don't see the truth

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Bridge:

Daddy I'm here!

Momma please don't leave!

Brother remember all that we had

Why am I left here all alone

Holding the broken pieces of our lives?

Daddy? Momma?!

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I know what love is, I give it all to you

Love is still love, even when it turns to hate

And fear, fear overpowers all

I'm sorry for all of the things I didn't do

I'm sorry for all the things I never said to you

But I'm not sorry for being who I am

I not sorry for leaving you now

I'm not sorry, not sorry

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Chorus:

I wasn't responsible for all of your troubles

But I was too young to know all of that

So I waited and waited and I prayed to God

I waited for you to really love me

But nothing changed, no nothing at all

I waited for you…

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I'm still here, alone but still here

I'm waiting, waiting, still waiting

Waiting for your love