If You Were Gay (That Would Be OK)

ARG! You will never believe what I just did! I had this chapter about a third finished, so I put it online, and then I started working on it from there, and I got about half way through, but I forgot to save it! Then, I go back there, and see that it's not where I left it, so I delete it, thinking it's on my computer! But it's not! Now I have to start from scratch. Man, sometimes I wonder at my own stupidity. Oh well, I'll be optimistic and say that this one will be better. Ya, that's a good idea.

Alright, I need an excuse to get into Nathan's bed tonight. I'm cold... I had a nightmare... the zombies were trying to eat my brain... I... miss you...

I think the nightmare one would work the best. That or the cold one, but considering it was about a hundred degrees in here, I'm not sure if he would believe me. The real reason I want to sleep in his bed is that I miss him. So, if I told him that excuse, I would actually be telling him the truth, and we can't have that, can we? Besides, he would probably run from the house screaming his head off if I told him that.

I have a very good reason to miss him. I mean, I haven't seen him for two, three hours. Or... maybe only a half an hour. Oh no, I don't know how long it's been since I've last seen him! What will I do?! How will I be able to live without this vital piece of information?! Why didn't I make markings on the cave wall to keep track of time?! Or, since I'm not trapped on a deserted island, I could just look at the clock. So, according to that, I have been away from him for exactly... Oh no! I don't know when I went to bed! How will I be able to live?!

It would be really nice if someone could explain to me why I suddenly went off on a rant about the time, because I don't have a clue. Whatever. So, my plan for getting into Nathan's bed tonight is to go on the top of a very tall mountain, find a tribe of ninjas, get them to train me in the art of sneaking and lying, and then I will be perfectly equipped with the knowledge of how to sleep in Nathan's bed. It is a perfectly planned plan, and I see no reason for it to be foiled, excluding, of course, the parts about me climbing a mountain, finding a group of ninjas, getting trained, and sneaking into Nathan's bed.

Obviously, planning things isn't my strong point. Maybe I should just wing it, because otherwise I think I might pop a blood vessel.

As I was sneaking through the house, it grew apparent to me why I had wanted to climb to the top of a mountain and train as a ninja. Because it would be really cool! Just think about it, you could pretty much do anything! Not to mention you would be like Jackie Chan!

Finally I got to Nathan's room. I opened the door carefully and crept inside. Just as stealthily, I climbed into his bed. I was so stealthy, I wouldn't have woken up a bat!

He woke up.

Soooo, maybe I'm not as stealthy as I thought.

'Nightmare?' He asked, all cool, even though he just woke up. Man, Nathan is, like, the best! No matter what, he is always really cool. That should be his middle name. Cool. Who knows, maybe it is his middle name.

Oh crap, I forgot he asked me a question. 'Ya.' I replied, equally as coolly. So, that was me winging it. Pretty wingy, if you ask me.

So, he put his arm around my waist, like he always does. It was awesome, just sleeping there like we were. We were almost like a couple! But, you know, without the part about being a couple.

Life is great.


Life is not great!

Ok, so me and Nathan go to school, because we are students, and students go to school, and it was time to go to school, so we went to school. And we met up with Bret, because Bret is our friend, and we hang out with friends, so we were hanging out with Bret. We were talking with Bret, because we are people and people generally talk. Anyway, this is what happened.

'Man, that was a pretty interesting finale to our play, eh? I wonder how the curtain fell down.' Nathan was saying all casually. He's so casual. Awesomely casual.

Bret gave a little laugh. 'Ya, that might have been me fault. I may have pulled the wrong string. So, did anything... scandalous... happen under that curtain?' He asked with an evil twinkle in his eye.

I was about to answer, but Nathan got to it first. 'What?! You have got to be kidding! Me and Jason? For one, he's straight, and for another, I would never do that in a million years. You should know that. We would have to really desperate before we did anything with each other. Right, Jason?'

Ok, that hurt a little. I mean, I was kinda pissed at Bret for bringing up the subject, but Nathan didn't have to go break my heart! Still, it's not like I could say that with him right there. 'Ya, of course we would never do anything together. Besides, that would be breaking a promise.' I said to remind Bret of his promise to not tell Nathan.

The smile was off of Bret's face. To tell you the truth, he looked down right pissed. More pissed than I had been just a minute ago. 'You know, you two are really starting to piss me off! You're a pair of idiots! I'm not talking to either of you till the truth gets out!' and then he left, just like that.

Me and Nathan just sat staring at the empty space before us. Bret actually wanted me to tell Nathan that I liked him? How could he expect me to do that?

I gave a nervous laugh. 'You don't think he...'

'I'm sure he wasn't serious.'

'Ya, of course.'

I was surprised that Nathan didn't ask me what Bret had meant by 'the truth', but it was better that he didn't, for obvious reasons. But, maybe Bret was right. Maybe it was about time that I told Nathan about my crush. And maybe I should just grow up and take his rejection like a man.

Then again, I hardly even do anything like a man, so why start now? Bret will probably start talking to us soon enough. He wouldn't actually totally ignore us for a prolonged period of time... right?


Oh how cruel fate is. Or perhaps it has nothing to do with fate at all, it's just that Bret was serious when he said he would totally ignore me and Nathan. Why must I pick such cruel friends?

So, after three days of Bret not talking to us, me and Nathan cracked. It wasn't just that he was ignoring us, but the way he was doing it was so horrible. It wasn't like normal people, who actually ignore your whole existence and are all like 'Was that the wind?'. No, he was much more devious than that. He just pretended like he didn't know us! Somehow, that made it all the more horrible. So, after being ignored for the hundredth time, me and Nathan looked at each other. We spoke at the same time. 'Fine, I'll tell you!'

It was a couple seconds after we got over the shock of us speaking at the same time and saying the same things. I almost said Jinx, but thought that wouldn't be appropriate.

We went through a polite few minutes of 'No, you can go first. It's alright, I don't mind.' until he pinned me down on the ground and yelled 'I'm trying to be polite here! Say what you were going to say already!'

I didn't know what was worse; him killing me because I wouldn't tell him, or him killing me because I told him I like him. But, I figured that each would be about the same, so I would go out like a man and let him know, even if only to have the satisfaction of knowing that, after he kills me, it will forever haunt him. He will know that he killed a person who liked him! It will be the ultimate revenge!

Ok, so he didn't kill me. But, with him, you never know.

'Alright, I'll tell you. I... like...' I almost aborted the mission and said I like cheese, but I remained strong. 'Ilikeyou.' Ya! Go me! I found a way to say it that he will probably never understand!

'You like me?!' Well, so much for the not understanding part. I waited for the killing to start, but instead he just let me go. I stood up, trying to regain some of my shattered dignity.

'Ya, so what if I do? I also like cheese, but I don't think that's what Bret was talking about, so...' but I realized two things at that moment. The first one was that it was very hard to talk when someone was kissing you. The second was that there was a small chance that Nathan liked me, too, because he was the reason for me realizing realization number one.

Yup, Totally-Gorgeous-Awesome-Gay-Nathan was kissing me! Incase you're just tuning into this program, this is the guy that I have had a crush on for... well I don't actually know when it started. I guess I liked him before I realized it, but I'm not sure when it first officially started. But, back to the kiss.

All I can say is... wow. Nathan was a better kisser than all the girls I had kissed, combined. Of course, that's only three, but still! His hand was at the small of my back, and the other one was tipping my head back slightly (shut up! I'm short, ok?) and it was great! So, I got into it and put my one hand through his hair and... wow.

He pulled away and smiled at me. 'That was my secret, too.'

I could have died from happiness! So, I guess he did kinda kill me, but if he always tries to kill me like this, then I don't mind! He can kill me as much as he wants!

Nathan kissed me again. This was turning out to be the best day ever! Oooo, tongue! Wait, shouldn't we be doing something? Something important, having to do with the reason I told him I liked him, the main reason we were making out right now... Mmmm, making out...

He pulled away, still smiling. 'Should we tell Bret now so he starts talking to us again?' Oh right! That's what we were supposed to be doing! But... I LIKE KISSING MORE!

So we went off to find Bret. But guess what! We were holding hands! It quickly flew through my mind that maybe we should be hiding the fact that we were dating, but then I decided that I wanted everyone to know!

'Well, I guess you guys told each other.' came a voice from behind us. I turned around, and it was Bret! Yay!

'Yup, so you can stop ignoring us now.' Nathan said, still all smiles. I wonder where his smirks went. Maybe he is actually smirking, but I just think it's a smile, because I like him and we're dating. Gasp! Are we actually dating? We made out and stuff, but that could just be friends with benefits. I don't wanna be just friends with benefits! I wanna be boyfriends!

So I pulled on Nathan's sleeve. 'Hey, are we dating?'

He looked down (I hate being short!) and said, 'I thought that would be obvious.' And he bent and kissed me again! Man, I really like dating. It's all like kissy kissy, hand holdy.

Bret laughed. 'Well, you seem to be out of the closet, Jason.'