Chapter 13: It's Black America

442) Laura: You sound like you're pooing and giving birth at the same time.

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443) Me: Christ on a pony!
Laura: What?
Me: I like ponies! They're cute and go NIIIIIIII!

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444) Laura: Watch those middle-aged men work it!

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445) Hanna: I just thought of an iambic pentameter! But it's really inappropriate.
Me: What?
Hanna: I can't believe that she would fuck my mom.

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446) Mrs. Goertz: So don't be nice.

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447) Marcie: You should get a pill to, like, expand your bladder.

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448) Jory: They do have rather awesome man capris, but that's about it.

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449) Señora Gaston: How many minutes should you study a night?
Steffan: 700!

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450) Me: The pilet choked on the taco.
Marcie: Because the taco had worms in it?

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451) Marcie: Pwn n00bs.

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452) Justine: Naughty words!
Me: FUCK!

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453) Me: Veni, vidi, volo in dormim redive!
(I came, I saw, I want to go home.)

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454) Me: Me eucantan tus pantalones.
(I love your pants.)

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455) Me eucantan tus madre.
(I love your mom.)

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456) Hanna: It's black America!

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457) Me: Sorry, my pants were falling down and I don't think you need to see what's under my pants… so… yeah…

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458) Ryan: Life would be very nice if there weren't people involved.

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459) Melanie: I am a very Quote-able person!

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460) Lucy: Some people have ear fetishes.

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461) Laura: El pokeh!

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462) Joanne: It's the same backwards and forwards!
Me: Kind of like the word "mom."

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463) Me: Technically, we've only had one year of Spanish.
Tim: Nu-uh!
Me: Then how much?
Tim: We've had half a year plus half a year.

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464) Brian: It's not like I have a short atten- ooh, bunny!
(I'm not kidding. He actually said this.)

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465) Laura: Huggles! (hugs me)
Me, Laura: Eeeeeeeeeee!

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466) Me: How do we describe ourselves?
Laura: That is a very good question.

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467) Laura: My fricking boobs will not shut up!

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468) Laura: Guys are so fucking sensitive. They get an A on a test and it makes them happy, so they're like, "Eee, sex!"

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469) Me: I'm going to throw this at you and hit you in the boob and it'll like explode.

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470) Lucy: What's her name? I think it starts with an "L".
Lucy: Oh, that's right! It's "Celia"!

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-Quotes from my beta and BFF, StarryKnight46-

471) Mr. Kasprowicz: The whole objective of teaching is to fail people.

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472) Mr. Kasprowicz: Well, that was anticlimactic.
Andrew: That's what she said!
Mr. Kasprowicz: (laughs)
(He's like 60-something and makes better "that's what she said" jokes than I do.)

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473) Andy: Someone poked me in the side and it made me let out a very high-pitched and elongated squeal. It made me question whether I was a man or not.

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474) Kelly: Pills don't shed.

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475) Kelly: J'aime mon petit garçon.
Laura: It sounds like you're talking about your little kid, not your boyfriend.

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476) Laura: Je ne vais pas porter le pantalon demain. (I'm not going to wear pants tomorrow.)

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477) Kelly: Joanne's trying to get me and Jonathan to go on an actual date.
Laura: You've been dating for almost a year and you haven't gone on a real date? I'll help her, then. I shall need your schedule for the next month or so.
Kelly: Oh, dear God.
Laura: I shall make reservations at a five-star restaurant. Like Don Pablos or something.

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478) Mr. Kasprowicz: Write a number 1, skip three lines, write number 2, skip three lines, write number 3, skip three lines, write number 4, skip forty thousand lines.

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479) Mr. Kasprowicz: If I can't read your paper, I will give it to my cocker spaniel, Lucky, and he'll chew it up. You could attach a piece of licorice for him, too, if you'd like.

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480) Corey: I like you. You're very squishie-able.

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481) Mr. Kasprowicz: This is special Jupiter gas. You have to open this bad facing away from you so you don't sniff and be seized by a sudden desire to sing.

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482) Guy: Wait, so this is actual gas from Jupiter?
Mr. Kasprowicz: Yes. It's also sometimes called oxygen.
Guy: There is no oxygen on Jupiter.
Mr. Kasprowicz: Exactly.

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A/N: Thank you, wonderful Starry, for typing up all these chapters and adding your Quotes! I owe you big! LOVE YOU!!! :D