YOU
make me happy.

sometimes the blonde streaks
in your hair stand out like sun,
and they become the only
sunlight in my whole day.

usually your crooked smile
that only comes out on accident
is enough to make me melt
and forget all my worries.

your number on my caller ID
your screen name on messenger
your email address in my inbox
has my heart skipping a beat and
answering
clicking
replying
as fast as my fingers can move.

a single touch from you
can send my heart racing
and my breathing scattered
and my whole body just
shiv-v-v-er.

but through all the times you make me happy,
sometimes,

YOU
make me sad.

sometimes you just pass me by
without so much as a glance,
and it can just completely
shatter my whole day.

usually the small, scared flash of
your eyes when you see me
when you're with your friends
is enough to make me cry.

you not answering my calls
you not replying on messenger
you not reading my e-mails
has my heart faltering as i'm
hanging up
signing off
unsending
as fast as i can between tears.

a single dismissal from you
can make my step catch,
and my breathing choked,
and my whole body just
break-k-k
down.

YOU
make me happier
than any other
and
YOU
make me sadder
than any other too.

i have turned you into something you don't deserve to be
and i wish i hadn't done that now,
but it seems like sacrilege
to stop this…
worship?
now.