Tell Elizabeth I'm sorry. I think it's bitterly ironic that Fira killed herself because she loved me and thought she could never make me love her that she died, and yet, I regret that I never let her know how much she had captured my heart. Fira's pretty face, the way she was either laughing at everything or else dark and brooding, the way she couldn't stay mad at anyone becauseshe would start to giggle. My beautiful Fira.
Elizabeth. She's so beautiful as she sleeps there. Her light brown hair looks like a halo as I write. She looks like a porcelain doll. She'll make a wonderful wife for someone else. I can't love the woman I married.
I only dated Lizzie because I figured that Fira could never fall in love with me, so I had to figure out some way to be un in love with her. I didn't even really ask her to marry me. Liz drew that conclusion on her own. I asked her some trivial question about the liturgies and the marriage ceremonies, and she flipped out. She flung her arms around me and I didn't get a word in edgewise until a few months after we were married. I think that this will hurt her. I'm sorry, but my wife is not the woman I love. ELizabeth is too perfect, too gorgeous, to gentle, too sweet, too delicate, too fragile, too doll-like... I loved Fira!
Fira was small, but so strong. If she was upset, she didn't laugh, but she didn't sulk like Elizabeth. She would walk around with absolutely no expression on her face. I loved her silence, and I loved the way she chattered on when she was happy. I loved the way her strong sense of tradition contrasted from my wild streak. I loved the way her long, dark curls looked when she forgot to tie them up. I loved her forgetfulness. I knew she had a crush on me, but I oculdn't take advantage of that. I had no idea she truly loved me. I loved her fiery temper, and the way that if she truly thought something was wrong, she would scream at you. It broke my heart to see her cry. Fira was Fira. If had had the courage to, I would have told her I loved her.
So, Mom, I'm addressing this to you because you'll be able to best give Lizzy a word of comfort when she finds me. Good bye. I love you. Lizzie was a good friend to me.