exp.: Casi moved.
She visited me today, but it wasn t just her, it was all of her friends from here, too. People that I m not really friends with, people that I just know and like and would spend time with because they are an enjoyable crowd. But it was really after she left that I realized how much I needed to tell her, how much I wanted to tell her, everything that s wrong and why I hate it here more than ever just because she s somewhere else, how much I can t stand anyone else here just because she s gone and I can t talk to her. She switched schools maybe three weeks ago probably more like two but I don t remember. In those weeks, we have talked maybe twice, three times at most, not counting today. I haven t said a word of how mad I am. I haven t uttered a single thing about how much I hate volleyball. I haven t told her about crying in front of my locker, all alone, Tuesday and Wednesday night working on banners. I can t tell her that I think Lia s actually okay and that this summer might be survivable, and I might give into not wearing the dress that I wanted so badly. I haven t even told her that I can barely eat lunch, or that sometimes I wish I was dying of something horrible so people were obligated to feel sorry for me, instead of look at me the way they do because I m so frustrated with everything and because I have life so much. I love Casi; she s my best friend. I just want her back. Too much to ask? Maybe. But I really need her back.
(sorry there's all that extra crap in there right now--from saving .txt instead of in word, I was in a hurry--but I'll fix it later when I have time, sorry, really I am)