maybe we're too young
october lies (august 30, 2008, 4:56am)

"i blame this town, this job, these friends."

it just won't get out of my head, how,
instead of smiling - instead of heart-stopping, breath-
catching, dizzying, oh-so-lovesick smiles -
there's only silence and frowns and darting eyes -

( i can't help but hear the sound,
the cracking of a breaking heart;
the air being stolen from my lungs ) -

helpless, searching for escape,
for release, for an excuse to just get
it over with

( i can't breathe, i can't see, i can't hear,
i can't live, no, not without you,
but, oh god, please just don't let it end this way ) -

excuses used to be put to use
for phone calls, for kisses, for smiles,
for us, but no, not anymore -

( i tried to smile for you, for me, for the
both of us
and i tried to stave off the pain for you and me
but - but - ) -

but still we're sitting in the silence
and holding each others dead, frozen hands,
a closed circuit no more -

( but - but it won't work if only one of us
is trying, and i know that if only one of us is trying,
then only one us will have to "make it through" and not even -
no, not even


can get rid of that kind of
pain )

poems aren't my forte...
and this isn't very good anyway.