A/N: This could be seen as a follow on from Beautiful Perfection or it could just be on its own. I don't really know, I am so confused right now.
I just had to write. I'm sorry if it is rubbish.
This is dedicated to a good friend of mine. You know who you are :)
I curse this heart. I curse the way it beats, I curse the way it feels and I curse the way it loves.
Why does it have to be like this?!
I long to return to the time when youthful innocence stopped my heart from beating to its own tune. I wish to go back in time and tell myself to be more careful, to not fall in love so easily. Though I know I probably would anyway...
After every encounter with Cupids arrow I tell myself that the next one won't hit me or that Aphrodite's spell won't work, not this time. Yet I always find myself falling. I feel that this time is different but I know it will end the same. It'll end with pain, the same way it began.
Every time I speak to you I come so close to telling you the truth but I know it will ruin everything. I would rather have you as simply a good friend than not have you at all.
The answers to my heart, the cryptic code that should unlock the true feelings of my being are so close to the surface they are about to burst out from beneath my skin but the fear of rejection is preventing them from doing so. Dismissal is inevitable as this love is not reciprocated...
And I cry, proving once again the emotional wreck I am.
Love is supposed to make you stronger. The heart is supposed to give you life, yet to me it is a death sentence.
I have hope though. Just as I dream, I hope that I see a change on the horizon, that my life will improve, with or without you by my side. I know I have the strongest love I could ever have, the Father's love, walking with me to protect my mortal body, yet my heart is not so well guarded.
Everything is going to be alright, it will work out in the way it was meant to. I have to believe that...