almost six months after you had

inexplicably disappeared, i decided you

must've died because it was easer than thinking

you just didn't want to talk to me or worse:

you had forgotten me and so i mourned for you

and kept all your old letters in a box that

i shoved to the back of the closet along with all

fifteen you said you loved me on my fifteenth birthday

and i swear i was thisclose to being over you until

one day your name flashes up on my caller i.d.

and it was no less than a resurrection.

.

but this time i'll smile with a hint of cynicism because

of all the unknowns dragging my lips down:

one: why you left

two: why you came back

three: when you will inevitably vanish again

and i'm just not in the mood to interrogate a ghost

but for all that i hoped for and wished for this exact miracle,

i think i liked you better dead.