i am my own worst enemy.

i am destroying myself.

(your kind words mean nothing when all i can do is wrap myself up in my own misery and wait to drown in it the blackness here is a comfort much deeper than your eyes/heart/soul I CAN'T HEAR YOU YOU'RE NOT THERE YOU CAN'T HELP ME I AM ALONE THIS TIME NOTHING NO NOTHING NO NOTHING AT ALL CAN CHANGE THAT NOW)

don't get me wrong,
i want your help

(but how do you help the helplessly broken when they only think they want to be helped and are much more content to just suffer in their misery because MAYBE I JUST HAVE SO MANY FUKCING PROBLEMS THAT BEING SICK IS HOME FOR ME AND ALL I REALLY WANT NOW IS TO BE HOME BECAUSE I'M SICK OF THIS PLACE AND I'M SICK OF YOU AND I'M SICK OF WHATS HAPPENING TO ME)

i can say it now.

i'm sick.