Not one of my greatest moments... but it's pretty funny. :)


Emergency Room Adventures

It started with a moment of stubbornness meeting idiocy.

"How long has this been going on?"

"...Since this morning..."

"What are you doing here?!"

"I thought they would go away!"

Yes, dear readers, it started with typical morning seizures induced by a severe lack of sleep. Being stubborn about attendance, I chose to ignore them and go to class anyways. I can see your reactions now:

"WHAT?!"

"Seizures?!"

"Why didn't she stay home?!"

Because, haha, I am an idiotic spork. That is to say, a spazzy dork, which here means an epileptic whose life is on the computer and other related dorknicities. I know the stereotype for "seizure" tends to be flailing around like a fish out of water, and that is a type of seizure, but I don't have those. I have spasms. Like limbs twitching on their own volition. Being oddly accustomed to spazzing on occasion, having morning seizures is nothing new, especially since I have a bad habit of staying up too late...

But that's beside the point.

I expected to stop having seizures by the time I got out of English. I did not (I fell out of the chair, and it HURT!). Still I did nothing- it was still pretty early in the morning. So I went to the cafeteria to do my math homework. I could not properly write because my hand kept twitching. Now I was starting to worry (yes, starting to). Then Kassy saw me sitting there, staring at my math homework, and one thing led to another and...

"How long has this been going on?"

"...Since this morning..."

"What are you doing here?!"

"I thought they would go away!"

And that, dear readers, is how I ended up going to the emergency room.

Kassy's cousin Danielle was now speeding down the highway with Kassy sitting with me in the back to watch my seizures, which were now occuring every couple seconds. In hindsight, I think she was a lot more freaked out than I was, but they were handling it well; they kept telling jokes and that sort of thing.

Now I have to explain something to you. The emergency room is downtown. Downtown consists entirely of one-way streets. So here's Danielle, speeding around the streets trying to find the emergency room, but can't seem to get there. They were joking about how a police would pull us over and then we'd get a police escort to the emergency room.

After a few minutes or so, we finally made it to the emergency room. The lady at the desk looked over at me, and she didn't get to say a thing because I just automatically said, "I keep having seizures."

They put me in a wheelchair. Do you know how much I wanted to find someone else in a wheelchair and have a race? It would've been AWESOME, and you know it! That's the one thing I want to do before I die...

...But I digress.

So I'm in a wheelchair and after another few minutes, a guy comes and wheels me down to the room, and I- you'll love this- fell out of the wheelchair, tripped on the foot rests, and only stopped myself from falling by grabbing the bed. That was fun...

They had me change into an uncomfortable hospital gown. Those things are tricky. There is no indication on which side is the front and you have to tie it shut. Why can't they just make one that you just slip over your head! Then again, hospitals do exist to give you as much trouble as possible. Which leads me to my next adventure:

The Shot.

By that time, my parents were there looking all worried and Kassy and Danielle had gone to get food, and the nurse decided to give me a shot of Adavan (the ULTIMATE in anticonvulsants). They said it was also a pill. "Why can't I have the pill?!" I protested (shots are EVIL, as you all should know). But nooo, "The pill doesn't work as fast." They just wanted to torture me...

It was a huge honkin' needle. And it HURT a LOT. It was worse than math. Heck, it was worse than being forced to watch all the Disney poster children sing those ridiculous High School Musical songs! Or worse... Hannah Montana and Jonas Brothers songs. (I just made a few enemies, didn't I?)

After another couple hours, they decided to release me from that Chamber of Death and Torture they call the emergency room. I had missed both of my afternoon classes- again, did not mind at all- so I was sent back home, where I crashed. After all, I'd been having seizures all day and then they shot me with Adavan.

I learned a very valuable lesson that day: Don't stay up until one in the morning if you have class at eight.

End.


Yeah, the end was kinda anticlimatic. :D

Hope you thought that was funny, although I have a feeling you're just staring at the screen in horror, wondering why on earth having seizures is funny.

...Well, have a donut. :)