a/n

i'm sorry if some of the stuff in here doesn't make complete sense to you, i think some of the jokes are inside jokes that if you didn't know my school you wouldn't understand...but still i hope you like it and find it amusing( : please leave reviews and feel free to ask me about anyhthing you don' understand or if you have some ideas for me to put in the next chapters! 3 Sarai

A School Wrapped in an Enigma Wrapped in a Maze of Dismal Contradictions

I consider myself to have a rather sad existence; it mainly consists of school and what occurs there. Sometimes it's hard for me to get along at school because there are so many things I just can't understand, but they say that's because I'm young and can't think for myself yet. I always thought that being a 17 I was pretty close to becoming an adult but they say differently; when I say "they" I mean my teachers and principals. I guess I should start by describing myself to you because I highly doubt you know me. You see, this is to be my diary for school; this year in English my teacher has decided we will focus on autobiographies and we are supposed to write our own. I wanted to write about sports but my English teacher told me that school was my life now, not sports so I am going to write down everything that happens in school.

I would describe myself as smart and funny but my mommy is always telling me that I'm not funny at all so I guess I'm not. I am about 5' 6'' and average size; I have long black hair and tan skin. I'm quiet most of the time and I am absolutely terrified of being in trouble or yelled at. I'm a senior this year and I like it. That's pretty much all there is to say about me. Oh, and my name is Betsy Ima Beleever and I have a parrot named Tweeters and a hamster named Polly.

So for now I'm just going to introduce you to some people in the school who are my friends or who I see a lot. First there is Ms. Miniese, she's our principal and it about 4' 6''. She scares me a lot, she is always glaring and scolding students around me- she may be tiny but she is fierce! She rules this school with an iron first, a little whim she has everyone rushes to fill. Bobbie is Ms. Miniese's secretary and follows her everywhere, and when I say everywhere I mean everywhere- even the bathroom. Then there is Mrs. Benjamimea, she is the assistant principal or something to that effect. She reminds me of an Amazon woman because so seems so huge, she is a kind of eccentric always wearing strange tribal clothing with sneakers and a strange, mysterious bag containing some sort of bottle.

Jude Rigby, he is virtually the king of the school- well the king of the underground. Nothing happens without Jude knowing about it, you see, everybody knows him. He has been around for as long as the school has been here; he lives nearby on the corner of Penny Lane and the long and winding Abby Road. He never really wanted to work here, he's actually a paper back write and wants to travel with his girlfriend Lucy Diamond but he hasn't hit it big yet so he is stuck here. His daughter is a good friend of mine and her name is Eleanor, her mother is Rita the meter maid.

So now that you have a general idea of who is in the school I'll tell you about the school itself. It's a fairly large school; it has sixteen buildings and a bunch of shacks out front. Sometimes I still manage to get lost, I guess I'm just stupid but I always get the different building mixed up. I think the room numbers are what really confuse me, for building one there is a "b" after the number, for building eleven there is a "b" before the number, for building six there is a "B" after the number, and in building fifteen there is a "b" in the middle of the number. Other than those buildings it's pretty simple, you just have to memorize the random letters assigned to the buildings. At the moment our school is undergoing renovations and additions because of all the people coming in. You see, the government thought that since this part of the country is sort of countrified it would be helpful if thousands of city dwellers were sent here to live so that we became more modernized; the government was so clever to think of this!

So because of this plan, our schools are bursting with new students so right now we have to build more buildings. Since the school doesn't have enough money to buy more land they have decided to build up. Our main building is now ten stories high and we have no elevators, well not for the students, so every day I have to climbing up those ten flights of stairs but my Mrs. Barby, my home economics teacher, says that the stairs are helping fight obesity. I just am thankful that the school had the forethought to do this because if they hadn't I might be four hundred pounds by now!

Anyway, I think that is enough descriptions for now. So today was a Wednesday, first block was pretty long- literally and figuratively! Our school is on what they call block scheduling which is an acronym for Bodacious Long Overly Crazy Kids, I never could really grasp the meaning of it but my teacher says that it's another way to say extended classes. Each block is 5 hours long and we have three blocks a day. So as I was saying, first block was eternally long; I had an adult issues class and the teacher was discussing the various habits beast-fed babies…

"You see it's very healthy for the baby, beast feeding stimulates the mind," The boys in the class stated giggling and making wrongful comments, I glared at them. How dare they interrupt the teacher! This was very important stuff!

"…the babies only get milk for about five minutes, the rest of the time they are just exercising-" That's when the bell rang, I quickly picked up my things- I couldn't be late to my next class!

As I walked through the maze that they call hall ways I was suddenly pounced on my an over zealous security guard, I turned and was staring into the cold eyes of Ms. Ilean Over. I gasped, she was the worst of the security guards. Ever since she had been brutally injured in a fight she had become bipolar and violent.

"You're goin' da wrong wey!" She hissed. I gulped.

"The wrong way?"

"Yes! Weren't ya payin attention? There's a sign ova there, it says up only. Ya 'appen ta be goin down!"

"Umm, where do I go then?" I ask timidly, I was so frightened. I was going to be late!

"Da otha stairs o' course!"

"But they're at least fifteen minutes away from here! Can't I just go down here, my class is just one floor down and-"

"NO! Ya hav' ta go ta da otha side of da buildin' then go alllllll da way ta da first floor an' then go tad a up stairs and come up!" I just gapped at her, that would take a least an hour! I would miss part of my class! But what could I do? Ms Over had said it so there was no arguing; I turned and started sprinting down to the other end of the building. I guess it made sense, less traffic overall but still I would have to run incredibly fast just to me within a half hour of the bell.

On the way there I almost crashed into Ms Miniese and Bobbi, luckily I was able to stop before I ran them over. I slowed down and tried to gather what was left of my decorum as I said good morning to Ms Miniese, but she was busy and didn't hear me. I looked around and saw a couple holding hands, they appeared to be the reason for her wrath.

"No kissing in this school!" She admonished, "If we can't do it," she winked at Bobbi, "Then neither can you!" The offenders just glared at her, I was stunned! How could they take her anger so lightly, I was shaking just thinking of the fear and humiliation they should be feeling. I sighed and hurried off.

Of course I arrived at class extremely late and my teacher was violently angry with me.

"Betsy! I am so ashamed of you! I thought you were a good person but it seems that you are just like the rest of them!"

"Miss Battlin, I am sooooo very sorry! I didn't mean it, the stairs-"

"I don't want to here it! I am writing you up!" I put down my backpack and rubbed my temples, she definitely didn't say I was written up, did she? I looked up and saw she was still glaring at me. She was serious! I started to hyperventilate and get light headed, then I started seeing stars and pretty colors, then it all went black. The next thing I remember was some one screaming at me,

"Betsy Ima Beleever! Get up this very instant, you can't fool me! Stop pretending!" I slowly opened my eyes just in time to see Ms. Battlin pour the contents of her water bottle on me. I gasped and sat up quickly, I was drenched!

"Get up! Go to the solitary confinement room now!" Ms. Battlin commanded in her steely tone. I nodded and grabbed my stuff, shuffling out of the room. I was still a little dizzy and managed to almost fall in the garbage and hit the doorway before I managed to stagger out into the hallway.

"Hey Betsy!"

"Hey Jude!" I said happily as I saw Jude Rigby in the hall.

"What happened to you?"

"You don't want to know!" I sighed.

"Here," he handed my two of his special cough drops, "these should brighten your day a little."

"Thanks! I gotta run, but I'll see you tomorrow! Oh, how's the story of Bungalow Bill goin?"

"Great! See you tomorrow! Good luck!"

"Thanks!" I said as I waved good bye and popped a cough drop in my mouth. I quickened my pace and headed towards the solitary confinement room with dread. I walked quicker and quicker but fate seemed to be pitted against me, every which way I turned there was something blocking my path. I finally decided to turn around when I heard the squeak of wheels. I froze and listened.

"Howdy!" I was greeted by a rough, dirty looking man pushing a shopping cart, I stared at him trying to figure out why he was here. Since when did we have homeless people roaming the school?

"Hi!" I answered and slowly backed away from him.

"I'm selling the remains for students that the construction workers found in the bomb shelter, would you like-" I was gone before he could finish, I had never been so scared in my life!

I was still working my way back to the more populated part of the school when the half way bell rang and suddenly the hallways were filled with children no higher than my chest- Freshman. I sighed angrily as short, skinny boys skipped by and tiny girls wearing even tinier skirts sauntered passed winking at anything that slightly resembled a male. I shook my head; this was the future of America.

"Hey Honey, what are ya doin in the freshman wing?" I looked up and say Smiley, another one of the security guards.

"I'm looking for solitary confinement…" I answered and hung my head in shame.

"Aww, don't look so blue honey! You'll be fine, it's right down this hallway and to the left, then the right, then the next right, and then another left and it's the twenty-third door to the right."

"Oh thanks," I headed down the hallway trying to remember the directions he had just given me. I was surprised when in a few minutes I saw a huge metal door with the words "solitary confinement" stamped on the front. I took a deep breath and knocked. A slit in the door opened and I saw a pair of red eyes, I squeaked and jumped back. The person behind the door snickered and opened it up, he was short for a guy, around my height with dark hair.

"Well are ya comin in or not?" He asked irritably. I tried to calm myself and stepped through the doorway. As soon as I had entered the red-eyed guys slammed the door shut and locked it with at least a dozen locks. I was getting more and more nervous, I was stuck here with him.

"Follow me." He commanded and I followed obediently.

"I'm here like everyday and get really bored and hit people so they decided to let me open the door so I don't get bored." He confided in me as we walked along. I tried to put more space between us but it was a small hall way.

We finally reached the holding room where a doughy man sat munching on an oversized sandwich.

"You can sit over there." He said when he had finished chewing. I nodded as I watched him take another enormous bite. I walked over to the seat he had pointed out and stared at all the profanities written all over the walls around me.

I don't know how long I sat there but at some time I put my head down and the next thing I knew it was time to go home.

Let me know what you think so far, sry if theres grammar and spelling mistakes- i haven't had time to proof read this chap. yet...