Caomhe's Worst Fear:

What If?

I tell people a bunch of lies when we're talking about what we're afraid of. Most of the time I crack a joke: "The thought of Leah and Evander locked in a room together for an hour." But sometimes when I just don't feel like joking, I lie through my teeth.

"Spiders."

"Tornadoes."

"Bees and hornets."

I'm not afraid of any of that crap- well, I'll give you tornadoes, but that isn't my worst fear. The funny part is I don't even remember doing this… Garrett and Charlie said I did, and why would they lie to me about something that horrible?

-

Later she would say that she blanked out after seeing all that… red. But the boys would never forget what she said or what she did.

She was right there with them, crying with Charlie, and clinging onto Keiran and yelling desperately, "Keiran, wake up! Wake up! If someone's gonna kill you, then doggone it, it's gonna be me! Just… just wake up, will ya!" Then she just collapsed between his arm and his chest, shaking from crying so hard.

-

I never wanted to admit it… but I was terrified. That boy used to be my best friend ever since he gave me a push on the swings. Oh sure, I always said I hated him, but everybody could tell he was slowly getting back into my good graces. Now…

Oh God, I'm crying over something that didn't even happen. See- even today, almost three years later, the thought STILL scares me to pieces! What if…

There I go again. All about the ifs as usual. That's what gets me in trouble.

When he and Charlie moved… that first night all I could think were if questions: "What if I hadn't yelled at him? What if I hadn't freaked out when he kissed me? Would it have been different if he wasn't moving? What if I killed the last bit of affection he had for me? What if he thinks I hate him, too? What if when he comes back and he still hates me? What if I actually gave us a chance?"

D'you see it yet? My worst fear?

-

Caomhe found her voice. "H-Holmes?" she said, her voice shaking.

Beep…

He didn't respond at first, but then he blinked slowly. "Sorry… Angel…" he whispered, closing his eyes and falling back into unconsciousness.

-

Losing.

Him.

Him, of all people! That arrogant little diphead who trademarked his HAIR! The kid who wanted to build a laser cannon for a science project, who named himself Rubber Ducky, who got himself plowed over by a car… saving a friend.


I've been toying with the idea in my head for a little while and I finally decided to do it.

Do what, you ask?

Just check out the next chapter and you'll see what I mean.