The Master and the Bacon
Once upon a time there was a rich master who lived in a large estate. One day he became hungry and called his servant.
"What do you desire?" inquired the servant.
"I grow hungry now," responded the master. "Go to the chef and have him prepare the finest bacon in the land."
"At once my master!" said the loyal servant who at once ran off.
As he ran he came to the waiter.
"Excuse me waiter," called the servant.
"What is it?" asked the waiter.
"The master is hungry. Go tell the chef to prepare the finest bacon in the land."
"At once!" said the waiter resolutely as he ran off to the kitchen.
As soon as the waiter came to the kitchen, he called for the chef.
"The master is hungry. Prepare the finest bacon in the land."
"At once!" said the chef as he called for the pig boy.
"What is it?" asked the pig boy.
"Kill the fattest pig in the stable, young boy, for the master is hungry and requires the finest bacon in the land."
"At once!" bellowed the pig boy before running off to the stable to slay the fattest pig.
He soon returned with the uncooked bacon. "Here you go, chef."
"Good. Now be gone, lest you see my secret cooking ways," said the chef.
The pig boy ran off and left the chef to cook the bacon. The chef selected his cleanest pan and set it on the stove. As the bacon cooked, it made a fine sounding crackle. The chef found this sound so delightful that he lifted the bacon from the pan with his fingers and stuffed it in his ears. The chef instantly screamed out in pain, for the bacon had burnt his ears, and dropped the bacon on the counter.
Hearing the chef's cries of distress, the waiter ran into the kitchen to see what the matter was. He tried to inquire from the chef, but the chef couldn't hear him because the bacon had made him go deaf. The waiter seeing the bacon cooked and ready, set it on a plate and took it up to the master. As he walked the bacon sent out it's tasty scent. Eventually this became too much for the waiter and he stuffed the bacon in his nose. The waiter screamed in pain as the bacon had burnt his nose, and dropped it back on the plate.
The servant hearing the screaming of the waiter, ran over to see what was wrong. The servant tried to inquire of the waiter as to what had happened but the waiter was far too distressed by the burning of his nose. Finally the servant just picked up the plate with the bacon on it and proceeded to take it to the master. As the servant walked, his eyes happened to glance down at the bacon and instantly its delicious beauty overtook his ability to think. He picked up the bacon and stuffed it in his eyes. Instantly the bacon burnt his eyes and he threw it down upon the plate, shouting in agony.
The master heard his servant's shouting and ran to see what the matter was (For he was not a cruel master). The master tried to calm down his servant, but the servant didn't know his master was there because the bacon had made him go blind, and he couldn't hear his master's calls because he was shouting too loud. The master eventually gave up and took up the plate with the bacon on it and brought it to the dinning room where he ate it.
And it was the finest bacon in the land.