All We Need Is Love

Growing up I always thought I had the greatest family in the whole world. Dad was a sports agent and mom was a housewife. Well, when I was about ten she started getting involved in this charity organization that required her to travel a lot. So for the most part of my life she was kind of missing in action. She was always gone half the time which left me and my dad alone. Don't get me wrong I never complained but I did miss my mom most of the time. I missed how she always tucked me in bed every night and how she cooks me those smiley pancakes every Saturday morning while I watched cartoons in the living room, which was probably the only time I ever got to eat there. Most especially I missed how she always was just there, every time I came home after school and every time I needed her. Nevertheless, dad was a lot of fun, too. Every time mom was gone he'd wake up super early and prepare my lunch, like mom used to do when she was around. One time I had burned eggs in my sandwich and once he forgot he was cooking bacon for breakfast and they came out all black and burnt and small. It was hilarious. So after a while he stopped and gave me lunch money instead. I loved how dad would take long lunch breaks just to go to my school and see if I was okay. Or how he'd make the effort of picking me up from school. Most nights he'd order pizza for dinner or Chinese take out and we'd eat in the living room and watch TV until I'd fall asleep and the next thing I know I'd be on my bed.

One time when I was fourteen, mom was gone for about six months and dad told me she had to work on this huge charity event thing. That was the longest time mom was ever gone. Dad and I did so many things. Since it was summer vacation, he'd bring me to sports games like basketball and baseball. But our favorite was soccer. We'd never miss a game! Too bad he didn't manage any soccer players. He said they were too much to handle and he'd rather leave them to other agents. I remember one time dad got mad at me for getting into a fight with Hilary Masters. It really wasn't my fault. Really! She made this really snide comment about how my mom already had another family because she was always gone and that she already forgot about me. I got so angry so I punched her on the face. Dad was so angry with me he didn't even talk to me for a week. One night about after eight days of silence he went in my room tucked me in bed just like mom used to do and apologized for not talking to me. I cried when he said that. He said he overreacted and that he should have just talked to me about it instead of ignoring me for a week. I mean my dad saying sorry for something that was totally my fault. So we cleared the air that night but there was still one thing that bugged me so much but I didn't have the heart to ask dad about it.

I guess it's safe to say mom missed the "firsts" in my life, like when dad taught me how to drive and I finally got my license or when Ryan Howell kissed me and we became steady. Dad was kind of furious I could tell, but he liked Ryan. According to him they could just talk about sports. We broke up though. Mom missed my first dance and prom. She even missed my graduation! Would you believe that?! I guess I never had it in me to complain or even ask why mom was always gone since I was so used to it, it was like she ever even existed to me. I know, I know that's not a really nice thing to say but it was true she was always gone. So finally on my eighteenth birthday (which mom missed since she had to go to Florida for work) before I left for college, I finally had the guts to ask dad why mom always left and by this time I was so sure it wasn't all about the charity organization she worked for.

I could see the sadness that fell on my dad's face. His eyes became quiet and he sighed. And this meant he was going to say something big since he always took a sigh before he said something big— good or bad. Then he placed his hand on my shoulder and looked at me like he really wanted me to understand every bit of detail of what he was going to say. I reassured him that whatever it was I was sure I was going to understand (but don't trust me on this). Than in that moment what I didn't realize was that my so called perfect family wasn't so perfect at all.

Dad told me that night the one thing that changed my life forever. The reason why mom left so much was because she had another family in Texas. Before she came to New York, she was already married and had three kids. But she didn't like a small town life so she left her family and moved here hoping to get a chance to live her dream. Instead she met my dad and they got married and had me. According to dad she was divorced by then. After ten years of not seeing her first family, she got a call that her ex-husband had a heart attack and died. Leaving her three daughters all alone. She had to go back and take care of them and that's why she would be gone months at a time. That was my dad's story.

I was devastated!

I had so many questions in my head. Like how she just couldn't bring her kids to New York so we could all live together? I mean I always wanted siblings. Or why couldn't she just tell me the truth then maybe I would be sleeping at night thinking if my mom was okay or if she'd ever come back. Or why she ever even decided to go back. I know it's selfish of me to say that but what about me? what about the things she missed in my life and the times she couldn't be there when I needed her because she was with her other family? what about her other daughter who needed her? Then I think about it again and I realized that if I was sad and angry and devastated with her, it must have been so much harder for my dad to accept the fact that my mom had two families.

In that instant I realized that I was really lucky to still have my dad with me and that I wasn't on the other side of the table and that I still had at least one parent that loved me and cared for me and was there for me. Now that I think about it I realized my mom had to sacrifice so much just so she would be a good parent to both her families. And she probably also missed me and my dad when she was gone and whenever she was home, she probably missed her girls too. So, instead of rebelling and being angry with my mom for kind of leaving me and my dad, I was kinda of relieved and proud of my mom. For sacrificing so much for her kids and for still trying to make an effort to come back home and stay with me and my dad when she still had three kids to take care of in Texas.

When mom came back I finally asked her all these questions and things that was in my head. If anything I consider my mom as a martyr. She'd do anything and everything for the people she loved. I asked my dad one time why he still stayed with mom despite everything she did and he's answer was simple. Love makes you do crazy things. I guess now that I think about it, it's true! My dad loved my mom so much he didn't have the heart to leave her just like how mom loved her three girls so much she just couldn't leave them in orphanages. I love my parents so much for everything they did for me that I didn't have the heart to get mad at them for the secrets they kept from me.

In the end, what I realized from all this is that it's really not about the secrets people keep from you or who was there for the special occasions in your life, rather it's about being there for the people you love, and sticking around just in case they might need you. In reality, that's all we really need, someone to love us and have our backs at any time. If everyone in the world had that one person they could count on wouldn't the world be a better place to live in? No more abandoned children, old people left in nursing homes so someone else could take care of them until they died, no more long lost relatives because really by the end of the day, all we need is LOVE.

So my family wasn't the perfect family I envisioned it would be and there were a few bumps in the road but isn't that what life is all about? Challenges and obstacles that help us grow to be stronger and better people. Besides when was perfect ever "in" anyway?