Scene opens with Mitch and Karl, both young male college-age people, sitting in an apartment. Karl is sitting on a couch in front of TV playing a video game very intently. Mitch is sitting at the kitchen table writing something.
Karl jumps out of his seat.
Karl: That's right, mothafucka, you just got your bitch ass owned!
Mitch: Dude, keep it down. What the fuck are you yelling about anyway?
Karl: (still yelling) I finally beat Zombie Invasion 4. That final boss was a pain in my ass!
Mitch: Well, I am happy for you, but like I said, keep it down. Do you want to wake the whole complex?
Karl: (confused) What time is it?
Mitch: It's three in the morning dude.
Karl: On Tuesday?
Mitch: Its Thursday. You've been playing that game for three days strait. I stopped trying to get you to go to bed, eat, shower, or blink after you bit my hand when I reached for the controller.
Karl: (thinking back and mostly to himself) Damn, I missed my test yesterday… Oh well, fuck it. That game was totally worth it.
Mitch rolls his eyes and gets back to his writing.
Karl stretches and pops his neck then goes over to the kitchen to get something to drink. On the way he looks over Mitch's shoulder at what he is working on.
Karl: Hey, what the fuck is that?
Mitch: Nothing, just a love letter to Beth.
Karl: Oh my fucking god, dude. You are such a pussy-whipped bitch.
Mitch: (defensively) I am not!
Karl: Ok, you're right… You actually have to be having sex to be pussy-whipped.
Mitch: (as-a-matter-of-factly) And how to you know I'm not?
Karl: We've been friends since the 5th grade. We're practically brothers. I'm pretty sure I can tell when you've used your penis. And I'm guessing it's been a while.
Mitch: (Shamefully) You're right.
Karl: I know I am. Anyways, I don't know why you put up with that shit. Beth is a Satansquatch.
Mitch: (confused) Satansquatch? What the fuck is that?
Karl: It's like the devil only more bigfootish.
Mitch: (angrily) Hey, that's not cool, dude. Beth is a great girl. She's been best thing that's ever happened to me.
Karl: Please! She's manipulative. She's controlling. She really cuts into our fun time. Fuck, she's got you wearing a goddamn pink shirt!
Mitch: Beth says I look good in pink.
Karl: Oh for fuck's sake, Mitch! If it weren't for the fact that I know you've wanted to bone my mom since the day you met her, I'd be pretty sure you just went gay.
Mitch looks embarrassed.
Karl: Shit, dude. Do you even remember the last time we played a game together?
Mitch: It was…uh…no.
Karl: My point exactly. So what are you going to do?
Mitch: I'm gonna have a talk with her.
Karl: Ya, and what you gonna say?
Mitch: (confidently) I'm gonna tell her what's up. That I'm my own man and I can do whatever I want!
Karl: That's right! Up top. (They high-five) K, well I haven't slept in three days so I'm gonna crash now. Wake me up on Saturday. (Exits down the hall)
Mitch: K, night. (As soon as Karl is gone, picks back up his pen and continues to write)