Scene opens with Karl lying facedown on his bed that is just a mattress and box spring with no bed frame. His room is very messy with clothes and garbage littering the floor. He is asleep and snoring. Beth enters through the door and looks disgusted as she sees the state of the room.

Picking her way through the room as to not step in anything disgusting, she makes her way to the bed and gives a sharp kick to Karl's ribs.

Karl: (Groggy and angry) W-What the fuck!? (He looks up to see Beth standing there and gets angrier) What the fuck are you doing here?

Beth: (sweetly) Why don't you like me, Karl?

Karl: (sits up) What gives you the idea that I don't like you?

Beth: I don't know. Maybe it was the note you left on my door that said 'Die, Satansquatch, Die'.

Karl: You don't know that I sent that.

Beth: (insta-rage) You signed it you little fuck-ass!

Karl: Ha, oh ya, I forgot about that.

Beth: Well…

Karl: Well what?

Beth: Why the fuck don't you like me?

Karl: Um… Well…I guess I would have to say that it's because you're slowly stealing the soul of my best friend.

Beth: You have got to be completely retarded.

Karl just shrugs

Beth: Ugh! I don't know how my Mitch can stand having you as a friend and roommate.

Karl: Wait. You're Mitch?

Beth: That's right, my Mitch. And frankly, I don't like those ideas you've been putting in his head.

Karl: You mean the ones about free will and shit like that?

Beth: Yes, those ones. I've worked to hard to finally break him of all those useless habits he had while spending time with you. Since he's been with me, he's eating better, dressing nicer, and he's doing better in class because he's not wasting his time playing those stupid video games.

Karl: But you're stealing his soul! Did you ever stop to think that it was that stuff that made him happy?

Beth: He has all he needs to be happy right here.

Karl: Do you really think that not fucking makes him happy?

Beth: How dare you. What Mitch and I do or don't do in out private time is none of your goddamn business.

Karl: It becomes my business when you're hurting him.

Beth: How am I hurting him?

Karl: You've obviously never had blue balls before. That shit stings.

Beth: Oh Please! Karl, You have got to be the crudest and most disgusting person I have ever had the displeasure to meet.

Karl: Ya, well at least I'm not a bitch.

Beth: Fuck you, Karl. You know, I was going to let Mitch tell you this, but now I want to see your face when I tell you that Mitch is going to leaving this dump and moving in with me in a couple weeks.

Karl: What!? You can't do that! You two barely know each other! You know I can't let you do that.

Beth grabs Karl and slams him against a wall showing strength that she doesn't appear to possess.

Beth: (growling) I WILL have Mitch be mine. And if you so much as try and stop me, I will make sure they'll have a closed casket at your funeral.

Karl: HOLY SHIT!! You fucking ARE Satansquatch!

Beth throws Karl against another wall making him crumple to the floor and she leaves.

Beth: (still growling) Remember what I said. (back to sweet) Take care Karl.

Karl: whimpers.