Sorry, this is horrible.

Broken Thoughts

I wish I was better at the things I do;
A prayer of blowing your mind with a simple sentence.
These things never seem to happen.
And I can't take adequacy with deliverance.

I find myself to be important, but only in the mirror.
Vodka just lingers in the back of my throat.
My anguish is overrated,
But I love the sound that it gloats.

Maybe I just need someone to love me.
But dating feels rusty.

The sun can't shine in my bleakness.
And the wind won't move these sails.
I just mark the path with bread crumbs.
My life is bad; the comparisons pale.

Crossroads scare the man in me.
I've never been good at reading maps.
Red or green or blue and the colors blend.
My personal audience still claps.

Mental bombs have physical fuses.
The one in control is the one who abuses.

I'll never give up on telling lies.
The truth can taste so bitter.
Thus life moves on.
Can't we reconsider?

Murmurs talk of choices.
I turn my car on.
My sorrows drown inside a CD track.
Bad songs die with the skip button.

All these threats just make me feel neutral.
Where's the lust of being useful?

Tools are always inside a shed.
My head strikes against the Earth.
Paralysis still means having legs.
An abortion is still a birth.

The psychiatrist tells me I'm crazy.
His notepad agrees.
Medication for another antidote.
Something to set me free.

Pills become my acupuncture needles.
Diseases are cast into something more trivial.

Stances are the only things that change anymore.
People die, but I see it coming all the time.
Funerals keep the fear intact.
Why do I end up surprised?

Eulogies are the things you forgot to remember,
And the casket is much more comfortable than a bed.
The dirt keeps the demons at bay,
But I'll remember what you said.

Judgment is an everyday routine.
A filing system of things unseen.

My heart and mind become conjoined.
I've found something to believe.
My ghosts never die.
The cuts always bleed.

Scars are the permanent reminder,
That life still exists.
Sanity is electric blanket,
The warmth keeps you in.

Power falls to those who need it.
I feel so weak, but masterfully completed.

The oceans will still be here long after I'm gone.
The forests can have their remnants
The sun still affects closed eyes.
A true healthy relationship.

I close my eyes tightly toward my conceptions.
My tears become close friends.
The purpose is to feel alive.
Ascension to transcend.

Everything can feel exactly the same.
Let the water circle the drain.

Know that you're a product that no one wants to buy.
The pitch can still attract.
Take what comes and goes.
Manage to react.

Silence deafens an untrained ear.
Eclipse the following shadow.
Emotion is all that remains.
Of your only winning battle.

Words are meaningless in a token context.
Ignore the fact you're completely starving.

My mind rumbles for a sign of food.
The kind that puts me to asleep.
A tasteful farewell to tonight's accusations.
Thoughts of something else to reap.

The ceiling fan rotates a cooling air.
My heated argument fails to sustain.
Ghosts just visit and leave.
A gift only I have to blame.

Maturity requires a planned escape.
The only way out is to sate.

D.E.-2008