Every time you touch me
Every time you break me
You've got something to say.
"Shhh . . . it's alright" or "Don't be scared"
Do you think I'm going to fall for that?
Get your filthy hands away from me.
Let me go.
I don't WANT to be sitting here on your lap.
Don't want to be used
Like some toy or doll made
Only for your disgusting fantasies
Why can't I say anything?
Why am I not allowed to talk?
Every "Stop" and "No" and "Let me go"
Results in a hand clamped over my mouth.
You tell me to shut up.
When I finally rip myself out of your grasp
I scream "STOP IT!"
Then you laugh
Chuckles of humor or disbelief
Or maybe it's just a sick joy
They spill forth while you slap your knee in mirth.
What's so funny?
You've lost it
I turn to run
But you grab me again
With dirty fingers that have been
Where they should not.
You open your mouth and speak
Saying "Don't ever do that again" and "Stay here" and "Be a good girl, now"
Then you go back to stealing my childhood
With more reassurances and soothing words
I hate it.
And all I can say before you stop me is