CHAPTER 1:

OUR ARRIVAL

I arrived at the airport half an hour early I didn't have anyone to say goodbye to here in California, so I didn't mind leaving without a single hug. My plane to Michigan was almost going to start boarding, I turned off my cell phone knowing that when I arrived at Aunt Clara's I would have no one to call everyone would be there waiting for me.

As I got on the plane I looked out the window it was a beautiful sunset, but I didn't mind leaving it behind, I didn't mind leaving anything behind, not my parents, not my suitcase that I had pretended to pack so my parents wouldn't be concerned, I didn't care about this place just like it didn't care about me. I'd been staying with Aunt Clara for a while now every past summer I had gone to her house and hanged around with some friends until the summer was over and I had to ship myself back to my parents. It was the only place I could be happy in, the only place that felt like home. I didn't know why, I had friends in California not friends that cared about me just friends who cared how I looked and if I was popular, which I was.

When I got in my seat I felt relieved I liked to travel first class, not because of accommodations, but because it was mostly business people in the first class so that meant that it would be pretty quiet. It would be the last time before I arrived in Michigan that I would hear the quietness. I went to sleep as soon as I got one the plane I didn't want to be tired when I arrived at Aunt Clara's I wanted to be energetic. I thought of all the faces I would see: Lucy, Eric, Bruce, Jared, Lana, Steph, Aunt Clara of course and a few other friends, the group my group of friends. I can't wait to see Lucy I thought, I was so happy that I finally got to see her the summer before I didn't have the chance to.

"Hi, would you like anything to eat?" a small lady asked me.

"No thanks, but I would like a pillow," I replied.

"I will be right back," she assured me.

I leaned back in my seat and thought about how extravagant and crazy this summer would be I was sixteen going on seventeen this summer. I knew Lucy would throw the biggest party for me, she always did. Who wouldn't do that for their best friend? I did the same for her; we never surprised each other with any kind of party we both knew the one another too well. The lady came back and handed me a warm pillow, it was plain with no designs. I lay down and thought about my coming months, smiled and closed my eyes until I was unconscious.

When I woke up I saw a cart of food and grabbed the fruit bowl, didn't care who it belonged to I just wanted to eat. I knew aunt Clara would be waiting for me when I got to my real home. As the plane landed I searched for the familiar face that would be waiting for me in the airport it would be Aunt Clara, like always. I couldn't see her yet, but I knew that when I got of the plane she would be there.

"Excuse me," I heard a voice "it's time to get off the plane."

I got my bag, the only one I had brought and started to walk down the isle to the exit. As I walked to the building I saw Aunt Clara at the window staring at me and as I got closer I could see her eyes sparkling in the light from the sun. She was crying Aunt Clara had been sad last summer that I hadn't come to her house she had been hurt. When I got closer to her I ran and she met me half way, we hugged for a while and then headed for the biggest exit.

"How was the plane ride?" she asked smiling at me.

"It was plain I guess, I fell asleep through most of it."

"You always say that," she responded with an even bigger smile "I am glad you're here."

"Yeah me too, I had to get away from home I can't stand my parents anymore," I said trying to sound casual.

Aunt Clara knew how I felt about staying with my parents, I could almost wait to turn eighteen to get out of that place, it was like a rumble between the two of them.

When we arrived at the house I looked at the little kids that were now growing, they looked even bigger than two summers ago the last time I'd seen them.

"Don't be hitting that ball too hard now, you may brake a window," Aunt Clara scowled them.

The kids always played baseball in the streets when there weren't many cars around. The town of Harbor Springs was small, not many people lived there which meant that everyone knew each other. I used to play with the kids all the time and I couldn't wait to do it again. When we went inside everything was the same pictures of me, from every school year I had attended school in Harbor Springs, were hanged on the wall. Pictures of me and my aunt were on the side tables near the lamps, this room was probably filled with more pictures than ever. As I looked around I found pictures I hadn't seen, they still had my face on them but they were from two years ago, the last summer I had spent here.

"I missed you and it was the only way to see you," Aunt Clara answered my thoughts.

"Oh I am sorry I didn't mean to hurt you last summer," I responded walking to my room.

As I walked in my room I saw how it still looked the same I would have thought that maybe she would have changed some stuff, but my room looked untouched. It still had the hot pink walls with light pink designs; the long window seat that was built in the wall still had the white cushions and pink pillows. I thought Aunt Clara would have cleaned my mirror but even the smallest part that wasn't covered with pictures of my friends from every summer had dust on it. My white dresser was dusty, I looked inside the bathroom and the huge mirror also had a lot of dust with everything in its place where I had left it two years ago. I turned to my white laptop and unsurprisingly it also had dust on it.

I put my bag on top of my bed it was small for my room, I had the master, Aunt Clara didn't want it so I had taken it its too big for me she always said when I tried making her move back in it. My long window was halfway covered with the black curtain I always hung over it and the other half was covered with the window seat. Everything was untouched, I wondered what my aunt had done last summer maybe she didn't even open my room at all, she could if she wanted to my door was never locked. Why would it if no one but Aunt Clara and I were the only ones that lived there her kids had already gone off to college. I looked at the spacious room, I like that my bed was a twin size I always had sleepovers they usually got loud, so aunt Clara had taken a room on the opposite hall way. Lucy and I could be loud when we were together and that was a fact. I settled in I hadn't brought any clothes with me so I only had to put my purse in my closet and my personal belongings in my dresser. I was still surprise to look at the huge mirror that was above my dresser and not be able to see half of my reflection, I tried really hard not to have anything in my room in which I could see my face in. there were few pictures of my in the mirror and in those pictures I was always with someone either Lucy, Eric, Bruce, or Steph, the rest were just my friends.

I went back in the living room and sat to watch T.V with my aunt. I loved her and still couldn't imagine my life without her, she meant more than my parents ever did, or ever will. It was still early and I was surprised Lucy wasn't here yet, she was always here when I arrived.

"Hey you guys," Lucy said opening the door slowly.

I smiled and jumped on her.

"Wow, I am so glad to see you I missed you," I shrieked trying not to cry.

"I know me too, I can't believe you didn't come last year I was really mad at you, and you know that."

"Yeah I know I owe you big time sis," I said holding her tight.

That's what Lucy and I were sisters not by blood but still we were sisters. We hugged for a while and after crying for a while she started talking.

"So Aunt Clara we are having a party for Yohanna, can she come I really missed her I am sorry to take her from you at this instant," she started but aunt Clara was already waving me off she knew they were important to me. Aunt Clara and I had the whole summer to ourselves. I had forgotten how Lucy too called my aunt, Aunt Clara and it didn't hurt me because Lucy was with me the whole summer and she was my sister by heart after all.

"So where are we going?" I asked curious Lucy always threw the biggest party for my arrival and since the town was small everyone knew about it.

"Your favorite place," she said smiling with a twinkle in her eyes.

"Oh, I love you, for making it happen," I said honestly "let me go change I need to put on a bathing suit."

When I came back I was ready to feel free I wanted the water to touch my skin it would be great. I heard a car pull over and looked out the window, aunt Clara had gone to her room so I went to check who it was.

"Hello I am home!" a voiced yelled before I got to the door.

At first I was like "What the hell? Who are you?"

"Um I think I got the wrong house my aunt looks way older than you, sexy" I was already mad he was holding me back from going to the beach, I wanted to get out, to leave, to feel free, and he was holding me back without any physical contact.

"If you have nothing to do here get out of my way," i said.

When he didn't i went back inside and asked my aunt if she had told anybody else to come for the summer, she smiled and replied with the biggest grin I had ever seen on her, even when I arrived she didn't look that happy.

"Oh is Alex here already?"

I looked at her in confusion, I asked if she knew him and of course she said 'yes honey he's staying with us this summer'. He came in and looked around asking for his room. Conceded I thought to myself, as I saw him look and wink at him self in the mirror my aunt hung in her right wall of the room. Lucy looked at him with a smile and I gave her a warning smile, she didn't know this stranger to be smiling at him. Lucy left after a while and told me she would cancel, why would she cancel if I was still going I asked her. My aunt looked at me with disapproving eyes and I looked at Lucy she knew my aunt wouldn't let me go.

I had to stay at home that day no beach for me; I had to stay with our new guest. I was furious at this, and of course I had realized my aunt was waiting for me to make dinner like always I had arrived that same day, but it was a tradition that she and I came up with ever since I was nine and started coming up to Harbor Springs from California. She would teach me how to make anything she was making and when I turned thirteen I started making our meal. It was the least I could do for her, when she was letting me escape my torture back at home, I only had to cook when I was around and right now I really wished I wasn't. Cooking for my aunt and I was something I had realized I had to do but while serving I realized he too was sitting at the table and I had only made enough for my aunt and I. I quickly served and went straight for my room, my aunt stopped me half way though.

"Yohanna where are you going aren't you going to eat you haven't eaten all day, you just go here?" she asked.

"I am not really hungry, I think I'm going to lie down for a while," I replied.

"Honey you got here this morning and you haven't even eaten breakfast or lunch you cannot possibly tell me you are not hungry"

"I ate in the plane" I explained "and I think I want to sleep a little bit more if that is okay with you" I said more like a statement rather than asking for her permission.

"Okay but we'll be here in case you get hungry" she looked at me worried and I just walked away.

I couldn't stand it at night I knew he was there some where in the house who new where, but he couldn't let me sleep not that he was making any noise. The next day Lucy called my early she was my best friend, I could tell her about everything.

"How you doing Yohanna?" she asked as if worried.

"Fine, I guess" she was there at my house yesterday when he arrived, she had given him a warning look and left quickly she knew my aunt wasn't going to let me go.

"What are you going to do today?" she asked.

"Don't know, maybe runaway" I replied. She was silent for a moment, "I am playing" I said as soon as I heard nothing of her.

"Are you mad?" she asked me

"Well not at you guys it wasn't your fault"

"Oh in that case I should tell you that Eric asked for you today, and yesterday."

She said matter-of-factly.

"What?" I asked astonished

I had a crush on Eric ever since this I was like nine and saw him for the first time in my class. Even though it was summer I had to go to school, school wasn't over in Michigan when it was over in California, so every time I came to my aunts place I had to enroll again just for the last three months, April, May, and June. I knew everyone around, you could say I was friendly with people who didn't make me mad or annoyed, and I had come here every summer since I was nine except for last year. Last year was my though year, so I didn't really want to come to my aunt's house. Lucy kept talking "Oh he was really asking for you yesterday, after we told him that Alex had arrived already," she paused.

"What, you know him? Why didn't you tell me yesterday? How do you know him? Don't tell me you don't know him because I hadn't mentioned his name and yet you said it clearly!" I asked madly.

"Well he came last year Yohanna, I thought you knew," she lied in the last part. I stayed silent to hear more so she kept going "he was here last year and well I knew you would get mad if we spoke to him," she said with a guilty voice, I then realized what she meant when she first asked me if I was mad.

"So why did you?" I asked impatient but calm.

"Lana wanted to talk to him, and since you weren't here he kind of took you place in school," she said even guiltier than before.

"What? I can't believe what I am hearing you guys acted as if he was me. We are nothing alike," I replied sadly "He is conceded and you know I am not like that!" I could hear myself screaming now.

"Yeah well we kind of noticed he was a guy" she said jokingly but I didn't laugh I would have if I wasn't so angry.

"He is kind of nice you know, he actually helped with our school parties, just like you did –" I cut her of short

"Yeah but he is not me, I can't believe that you would give in, this is my second worst day and I've only been here for two days," I said my voice braking again.

"I never said I gave in did I? you know I would never do that to you, so my point was that Eric was sort of jealous because you stayed with him instead of going along so," she paused for a while, I didn't respond she had changed the subject too quickly, so she went on "he thought that you might know him, and …that you may like to be with him," she said quietly.

"Is he crazy, I wouldn't aunt Clara made me, why would I want to stay when it was my party, and plus Eric knows how I feel for him he could of came over," I said.

It was long for a while then Lucy spoke again "so" she said "I was wondering if you wanted one today. Its Saturday and your back in school Monday right?" she asked excited. I was silent for a while mad, sad, and happy to be back home. I felt more at home here than back in California. I was frustrated but still heard another voice in the phone, for a moment I thought it was someone from school, but I could recognize that voice anywhere now.

"Can I come too?" a guy's voice asked.

"What the h- ?" I was cut of by his voice again.

"Oops I'm sorry I didn't mean to… I was just going to call Jared, and well I heard you guys talking and then I heard my name," I didn't even want to hear him anymore I was mad, no not mad, furious.

"Shut Up!" I yelled "and get of the phone please" I was surprised I even used the last word on him.

"Well I think we need to talk we started of on the wrong foot," he said apologetically.

"I don't care what foot we used I don't like you at all!" I yelled kind of laughing at what he was saying "I don't even know why I am telling you this through the phone when I could say it to your face," I yelled even louder so that anyone in the house could hear.

I was surprised when he was behind me, in my room. I was also surprised i was mad. why was i mad? He hadn't done anything to me...yet.

"Yeah I know right, kind of dumb isn't it?" he said, he actually thought it was funny. I looked at him and yelled "do you mind knocking before you come in my room like that!"

"Sorry again" he said "I am not use to it" I stayed quiet waiting for him to leave.

"Last year was my first year here and I well got in any where in this house without knocking," he smiled and looked away too quickly he noticed.

"Except for this room though," he said looking around.

"Aunt Clara wouldn't let me, said it belonged to someone and that it was rude to just walk in without permission" he said, sighing at the last word.

"And yet you are still in here," I said with sarcasm.
"Yep," he said "I'm not scared of you. I'm actually curious, why don't you like me?" he asked innocently and before I had a chance to stop I told him the truth.

"Because you're taking the only thing I have in my life," I said helplessly. I had no idea why I had said that to him.

"Guys I have to go," I heard a small voice coming from the phone.

"Oh sorry," I murmured "I forgot you where still here, where are we doing the partying tonight?"

"Uh how about your favorite place" she said trying to hide the location from Alex. As surprising as it was he still had the phone to his ear.

"Why don't you butt out of my conversation?" I asked annoyed.

Lucy quickly laughed and said "Well got to go, it will take time to tell the others, but everything is ready," she said promising.

"What?" I found myself asking that often.

"Well I knew you liked your welcome home 'celebration' and made arrangements to get the place ready earlier, you wouldn't turn me down, and even if you did I would drag you there,"

"Oh you know me too much," I said more to myself than to her, more worried than I expected. Why was I worried? There was nothing to be worried about, was there?

"Well we will be there around five thirty or at six ok?" she asked "Um is he coming," she asked loud enough for him to hear. He looked at me with pleading eyes. I shrugged and said, "If he wants to I guess, but I am not babysitting," I said not very jokingly.

"I am older than you," even though I had heard his voice many times now it surprised me how close it was.

"That doesn't mean you don't need a babysitter, you act immaturely," I said challenging him.

"Well you're not that mature yourself," he said looking at me up and down. It felt strange for him to do that, I was aware of my body. I was not concede I hated having the body I did, I couldn't be sure when someone was been nice because they wanted to or just because they wanted something from me especially guys. My skin was i little dark from the sun, my waist was thin but not too thin. My butt and breast were a perfect size to be a model. I laughed at the thought and he stared at me more curious than ever. I looked at him for a while giving him the same curious look he was giving me, I always knew what other people thought of me with one look, but he was different his look was of curiosity and wonder. I felt silent and stared at his built shoulders, he was built as if he worked out sometimes a day, and he looked pretty strong to me. His eyes were gray and he was a bit lighter than me and taller too.

"Bye Yohanna, see you later," and Lucy hang up I guess she got tired of hearing us argue.

"Well you come here, which means you do need a babysitter, at least for the summer you do," I said accusingly turning away from Alex.

He stared for less than a second and said "my parents are divorcing, I don't like to be between any kind of arguments," he looked down and away as if searching for something in my room. I felt awkward for a while and then said "sorry" I knew exactly the way he felt. It was why I was running away from California every time I could. The reason I didn't come the year before.

"Its okay I guess you won't know how it feels," he said.

Wrong. I thought, but who cared I wasn't about to tell him about me, he already knew too much.

"So" he said "want breakfast?" he asked trying to change the subject.

"No actually I am not hungry," I said lying to him and myself, it was hard when my stomach grumbled and gave me away.

"Well then what do you want to do before the party?" he asked smiling; as soon as he did I knew he was trying to start again with the other foot.

"I am going to fix my room and take a bath," I replied politely.

"Need help?" he paused smiled and I could tell what he was thinking, "I didn't mean it that way," he said at last.

"Yeah. Sure. Whatever. Can you get out and leave me alone," I said calm but mad at the same time.

"I really didn't mean it that way," he said.

"Yeah and I really meant for you to leave me alone," I replied.

"Stubborn,' he said, almost a whisper.

"Not as much as you," I replied louder.

"Yeah" he said "I deserve that" he said not walking away.

I walked to my door and opened it loudly enough that he would hear, "are you going to get out or do I have to kick you out?" I asked with a serious face. He was frustrating me and I dint know why. He walked out and took one last glance at my room.

"Bye," I said slamming the door in his face "and stay out!"

I went back to bed for a while and then turned on the T.V there wasn't much for me to do when my friends weren't around, I knew Lucy wouldn't want me sneaking a peek at my party.

It was three when I decided that I needed some stuff for my room, something to keep my door shut. I was already searching for a hard to open doorknob with a lock. Mine didn't have one I never felt the need to have to lock my room, aunt Clara always knocked so there was no need, until now.

As soon as I got home I threw the bags in the floor knelt by the door and grabbed the screwdriver. I had left everything ready to just get home and change the doorknob to the one that locked. I unscrewed the screws and started to screw the new pair with the new doorknob, when I first realized I was shaking; there was a shadow over me. I turned around and looked at the figure, it was him.

"Need help?" he asked with a big smile.

"No leave," I said and it was silent "please" I begged.

"Ok, what time are we leaving then?" he looked at me. I thought he was playing but he wasn't.

"Um, I'm leaving in two hours or so, and you I don't know," I said sarcastically.

"Well I was wondering," he started "would you mind giving me a ride or something?" he asked in a childish voice.

"Isn't that your car out there?" I asked surprised.

"Yeah," he said.

"So why do you want a ride, you know your getting on my last nerves," I said meaning every word.

"Oh well, I told Aunt Clara that she could use it tonight," he said.

"Well you got plenty of friends' right? Jared for example," it was more of a statement than what I meant to make it.

"Well they are not only my friends," he said "look I am sorry last year was a tough year for me" I wanted to choke when I heard these same lines I once thought, but he went on "I wanted to get away and aunt Clara offered a room, so I took it. I didn't mean to take your place," he said apologetically, I was mad by what he had said. I had heard and been through every word that came out of his mouth, I thought what a coincidence.

"Yeah well whatever, I drive, you take the backseat," I said he looked at me but didn't complain.

I went in my room happy knowing there was no way he could come in once I locked my door. I went to my closet to look for clothes, I knew the kind of parties Lucy threw especially for me, so I chose a light pink strapless shirt small of course almost up halfway up my stomach. Everyone who was anyone in school was going to be there, I wasn't popular as many people thought I just talked to everyone without singling anyone out, I had mingled in with Lucy and some of her fiends like Jared, Eric, Lana, Steph, and some other people that were close in our group they were nice to me ever since I started in the fourth grade. Lucy had told me that she became my friend then because she saw that I was pretty and so was she so she thought that we were supposed to be best friends, it wasn't exactly what we thought now but nothing could separate us. Eric was my thing I started talking to him like I would talk to anyone and I started to like him and now we are like friends, but I flirt too much with him for him not to notice that I wanted to be more than just that. Lana and Steph had grown close to me because when we were little they would always ask for my answers in any test, and I being smart couldn't deny them that. I was in school all the time, when I came out of school for the summer from California I came to Michigan and since school wasn't out aunt Clara enrolled me in here too, and when it was time for me to leave, in August, I was put back in school over in California a week after my arrival I would be heading of to my first day of school again, so you can say I was really smart. Jared was just Eric's friend who I grew close to. My other special friend who was just like Lucy or even closer was Bruce always there for me even when I didn't need him he was always so nice to me, I came to think that he liked me but he assured me that he didn't. I slipped on my hills, I wasn't short, but I wasn't tall either at least not taller than the average. My hills weren't that high either way. I put on makeup and did my hair; I glanced at the clock wow I could take forever to get ready.

It was five thirty and nearly ready, but whatever, these people had seen me in the worst times, well nearly all of the people that were going to be there. I took one last glance, without wanting to it was all knee-jerk reaction, at the mirror and headed for the door.

As soon as I walked out I saw him he looked hot, well he looked good. I stopped for a while but didn't let him see my face. I was glad I had forgotten my purse.

"Shit," I said.

"What?" he asked worried with my reaction. I turned around and headed back to my room grabbed my purse and locked my door on the way out, it felt strange to be locking my door as if someone would get in to take my stuff.

He was still staring as if he was confused, I held up my purse and he looked relieved for a while. He opened the door to the driver's seat for me and took his seat behind me. It was a long ride to get one of the best beaches in Michigan that were still near the city. The beach was the best place I could think of, I loved the beach it made me feel free.

"So," Alex said "are you going to be nice?" he asked

"What?" I asked back.

"Don't do that, you know exactly what I am talking about," he said kind of mad.

"No I don't," I replied.

"Well are going to say things about me" he asked

"You know more about me than I know about you," I almost yelled at him "I only know your name is Alex and that your parents are getting a divorce."

I hadn't realized that I knew so little compared to how much he found out about me eavesdropping. He knew Eric was jealous of him, that I hated him, my friends, he knew my room, how I felt, I was jealous I never thought someone could know me so much other than Lucy or Bruce. Now he was going to find out what my favorite place in the world was. He stayed quiet while I parked the car, I glanced over to the rearview mirror and Alex stared out the passenger's window in the back seat. He didn't look much older than me maybe a few months but not more than a year, and now in the back seat he looked like a child. I laughed at this and he just stared out the window.