Do you want to sleep with me again?
Max murmurs this in my ear and I take it inside
just as easily as last time—and I take another shot.
By the time that dew's on the grass, we're drunk
and somehow make it inside to a bathroom
in a substance
free hall.
Stripping off my September clothes, the shower's on,
he has a tattoo tearing across his back and my skin is pure water—
he is such an angry boy. I know because of the force with which
he shoves
his hand up inside me; I'm arching, lips parted, hardly feeling;
I'm bending over, hands pressing against the door for support.
I see nothing but red tiles and my skin swimming in water.
He finishes
and I am filled with disgust as we stare at each other, stumbling to
get dressed.
Later, I will remember drowning flashes of breath
and his skin bruising against mine. He'll murmur in my ear
and even though we're in love with different people,
it'll happen like this again—
torn, twisted, tangled. Once a month, I bleed,
and he still fucks the breath out of me. My body is covered in burns,
electricity, water and courageously, I believe that he is what I want.
I give him shelter from a raging storm,
water coats the house in ice. The first time,
he left me with condoms and a flask. His tattoo strained against his skin,
birds flying from a breaking box. I do not,
just sit and watch his eyes telling me—I know I hurt, but protect yourself.
I know you drink to excess but
you look
so good
doing it.