A.N.: A little aghast for a change, not really typical for me.
And also fantasy028 deserves a lot of thanks and love and cookies and shines and hugs for helping me turn this in the form that is before you. It wasn't easy, but her gentle, but firm hand guided me through the obstacles of English grammar and verbs and nouns and dots and… (you get the idea), and I really appreciate it (and all the remaining mistakes are solely mine).
So... don't forget to review please.
WARNING: This is GBLT/LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender) themed fiction.
Boots stomped the ground in quick successions, and small clouds of fine sand lifted with each blow the rubber soles inflicted against the gravel path.
Air rushed in and out of his lungs, faster and faster. Droplets of sweat trickled down from the edge of short, messy, black hair, over the high cheekbones, over the fine jaw line, over the tanned skin of the neck, and disappeared under the edge of a normal black with white-collar polo shirt. Why couldn't he move faster?
He was so beautiful. Always looking so perfect with those big green eyes, with his long, silken brown hair that always shimmered under the sun. And he'd loved him for so long, never touching him, never talking to him. Just watching from afar. The perfection. Beautiful, warm like the sun. Matt was the sun.
He crossed a deserted street, never stopping, the rhythmic thuds his boots were making not slowing down. It wasn't long before he reached a green oasis in an asphalted jungle.
People walked slowly on the footpaths, the paths that looked like a grey cracks on a green. However, his brown eyes never saw them. He kept looking forward, always looking forward towards his destination, towards the dirty white, narrow block of bricks. Toward the building rose above the others like a king looking down on his subjects.
He needed to be there, high up there. He needed to be there for him.
Dark red oozed through the soft cotton, marking the light blue fabric with thin, straight lines. There was a guilty, fearful look in those green eyes. The face framed by light brown bangs looked so young and innocent.
"It's alright." He wrapped him in a warm hug. "It's alright." He waited for a sorrow never voiced to leave through the silent sobs wrecking Matt's fragile body, and then he led him into a bathroom where he took care of his red, raw marks. He made a promise to himself: he would become Matt's best friend and he would take care of him. He would always be there for him.
With an almost violent kick to the ground, he leapt over a fence that separated the park from the city, and the soles of his boots hit the asphalted ground hard.
He directed his steps towards a long street that was full of cars and pedestrians on both sides.
Please, please, let me keep my promise.
"Why are you watching me like that?"
"How?" he tried to feign ignorance.
"Like I mean something to you." Those green eyes, tinged with a hint of expectation, were boring into his. "Do I?"
"Of course you do." He put down the book he'd been pretending to read on the bed.
The green eyes inched closer, and before long, Matt's body was touching his.
"Do you want to kiss me? You can, you know. If you want to."
His heart beat wildly in his chest and his hand reached out, his fingers diving into that silken brown hair, drawing Matt closer and closer.
Their lips touched and it was haven.
His arm bumped into a passer-by, and he merely deigned the man's cursing with a mumbled apology that did nothing to slow him. He did not stop. He did not turn. He only ran faster.
Matt, be alright. Please. Just be alright.
His heart hammered in his chest like it was trying to escape. His throat was dry, but he didn't have the energy to swallow anything.
Almost there. Almost there.
He took Matt's hand, his fingers drawing small circles on the other's palm.
"Stop it, Ren." The green eyes laughed and the hand was withdrawn. "I'm trying to study."
"I'm not doing anything." Ren settled down on the floor beside Matt and wrapped his arms around him, around his green-eyed perfection. And it was all his, only his, his heart rejoiced. His perfect sunshine. Ren pulled him into his lap and his hands snuck under his shirt to stroke the velvet skin.
Ren stormed though the double glass doors of the skyscraper like the devil himself was on his heels, his gaze focused at the metal doors in the lobby. One was half-opened and about to close. With a burst of speed, he lunged over, his hand slipping in to hit the closing doors. It opened again.
Ignoring the inquisitional gazes from the other passengers, he punched the button for the last floor. His lungs were burning for air, but he was still too slow. He'd stopped too many times, and there was no time left. When the elevator finally got to his destination, he immediately shoved everyone out of his way and got out.
I'm almost there, Matt. Almost there.
There were tears running down his sunshine's cheeks. They were marred with bruises.
Ren reached out and pulled him into a tender embrace. He should have been there. he should have been there, should have know that Matt needed him. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Ren cradled him close to his heart. He was going to kill those bastards who'd hurt Matt.
"It's not your fault." His sunshine tried to smile through his tears and failed miserably. "You weren't the one who did this."
No, it was them, the same ones who'd almost extinguished his sunshine's light. Bullying him, threatening him, and beating him, just because he was beautiful, vulnerable and gay. They'd pushed him towards the edge, shoved him, jostled him, until his sunshine took a razor and sliced deep into his wrists.
Ren hated those bullies; he knew their kind. They were those who hid their insecurity and worthlessness behind violence and chose to act like cowards, taking on those who were different and vulnerable. He swore to himself: those bullies were going to taste his fists.
A hallway, a left turn… there was a stairway. He dashed up, taking two steps with every jump. Up. Up. Up. His lungs burned, but up, up, up, he went. He was going to be there for Matt , damn it. He was going to be there for his Matt.
Almost there. Just one more storey.
C'mon. You can do it. You can do it. Just thirty steps more.
"Ren, where are you?" a hushed whisper travelled through the phone.
"In a store." He trapped his phone between his shoulder and ear; his hands were too busy throwing things into his basket. "What's up?"
"They're here. They're looking for me. I haven't done anything to them. Why are they picking on me?" Matt cried into the phone. "They're going to do something horrible to me, I can feel it. Can you come? Please, I need you. I'm so scared."
The half-filled basket fell onto the floor as Ren's eyes searched for the nearest exit. There was no point in asking who was looking for Matt or who wanted to hurt him, because Ren already knew. Ren knew that they were the same homophobic bastards who had been bullying Matt for quite some time. "Where are you?"
Ten. He could hardly breathe now, and his heart felt as though it was going to explode in his chest.
Ren burst out of the door with a loud slam. "Matt!" Please don't let me be too late. "Matt!" Looking all around him, Ren's gaze travelled over the roof. "Where are you? Damn it! Where are you?"
He couldn't see him. As his shoulders slouched and he leaned heavily against his knees with his sweaty palms, his abused lungs still fighting for air, his mind could see Matt lying on the floor in a pool of his blood. He whispered, "Where are you?"
"In here." It was a soft whisper, so soft it was it could hardly be heard.
Ren ran towards the source, and there was Matt, he was hidden behind a row of chimneys at the end of the rooftop.
He'd found him, his sunshine. His beautiful sunshine. Bruises covered his exposed skin, and there were small scratches on his arms and even his face. Ren wrapped his arms around him in an almost painfully tight embrace. He hadn't been there for him, again. He felt tears trickling down his face.
"Ren, it's ok."
"No, it's not." Ren's fingers slid over Matt's face. There was a big bruise forming on Matt's left cheek, his left eye was bloody and there was a cut on a corner of his mouth. How could they?
"I escaped before they could do any more damage."
Ren pulled Matt up. Like this wasn't enough. He was going to kill them. He swore that when he found them, he was going to snap their knuckles one by one, then break their legs and arms and slowly strangle them. Ren knew, deep down, that he wasn't capable of killing a man, but hurting them really badly wasn't impossible. He held Matt close to his heart,
Fifteen minutes, twenty minutes, he didn't know how long had passed when a loud thud of the door opening and closing made them snap to attention, heads instinctively turning to the source of the noise.
Three punks stood there, two of them holding steel rods in their hands, and all three wore nasty grins on their faces.
"Stay back." Ren pushed Matt behind him, a corner of his lips turning upwards in a predatory smirk. He was in the right mood for them; he was going to show them how much his anger could hurt. It seemed that they'd never gotten that memo, that one that stated that Matt's new boyfriend was a regional champion of Karate. But they would learn, soon, and in a painful way.
Ren positioned himself into a stance before attacking, his foot cutting the air. The heel of his foot crashed into the soft skin of one of the punk's belly, disabling him, and the punk's steel rod flew through the air.
A turn and a punch and the second one quickly followed. The thud of the steel against the cement. A stroke of Ren's hand on the punk's neck and two were down. There was only one more to go, but that was when Matt called out.
Ren whirled around.
The remaining punk had Matt on his knees, his fingers clutching Matt's hair. "If you don't want anything to happen to your sweetheart, step away."
"Nothing's going to happen to him." Ren's hands were on him in a split-second. They shot out in a flash of lightning; they crippled; they caused pain. His eyes saw red. "But to you…"
"Ren. Stop it. Stop it." Matt tugged on Ren's sleeve. "You're going to kill him."
Ren's eyes cleared at that voice, and he lifted the trembling, crying mass of flesh up by the collar. "If you or your buddies lay your hands on Matt again, I'm going to find you and you can imagine what will happened to you." Then he pushed him away like he was a lowly insect, which in Ren's opinion was exactly what he was.
They scrambled away with their tail between their legs, but before the last one disappeared through the door, he grabbed his steel rod yelled, "I'm not scared of you!" He threw it at Ren before turning to run down the stairs.
The rod hit Ren, whose attention was on Matt, in his chest and he stumbled backwards, his legs bumping against a low fence and he fell backwards. His hands sought desperately for something to hold on to.
"Ren! Ren!" Matt's hands flew out towards him, and with a bit of luck, he managed to grab hold of Ren's ankle. However, he lost his footing and fell down after Ren.
No, no, it should be like this, Ren felt the need to cry out in injustice. A moment of carelessness, just one moment of carelessness and he squander not only his life, but also Matt's. The feeling of helplessness overwhelmed him and he screamed out his frustration.
"Ren!" Matt squeezed his fingers tighter around his leg and reached out, he tried to get hold of Ren's hand.
Matt shouldn't tried to save him. Ren closed his eyes for a moment. Always trying to be Matt saviour, so that in the end he was his destruction. So injust, so fucking injust. "You shouldn't do that." Ren's fingers got hold of Matt's wrist, he pulled him close and wrapped his arms around him.
Ren tucked Matt's head under his chin. The air swished around them. "I want you to live. To be ok."
"I can't live without you. Without you, I don't have anything." Matt held onto Ren tightly, hiding his head in the nook of Ren's neck.
Ren sighed and pressed a kiss to the top of Matt's head. The wind was loud in his ears. The rows after rows of windows a blur. He buried his face in Matt's hair, blocked out the images and the sounds that were rushing by. He doubted he could live without Matt too.
So it was alright. In some weird, twisted way it was alright, because he was selfish, because he wanted Matt for himself, to hold him in his arms for eternity and now he could.
They loved each other. They'd die together.
Joined in death. Wasn't there a song with a title like that? Maybe it was talking about them, about their lives, about their love, how it was stronger that anything, stronger even than the fear of death.
And they were falling. Their arms wrapped tightly around each other, until they were falling no more, but were floating, two souls glittering in the air.
While down on the ground two broken bodies lay on the grey pavement. The redness spilling underneath them and broken, shattered limbs reaching out toward each other, the fingers of their hands almost touching like their bodies needed the connection even long after their souls were set free of the bonds of the living.