That's the question of the year, ain't it?

Where did I dissapear to? Well, obviously I'm only human so the easy answer is to say that life happened. But, as my small and loyal fanbase, I guess I should give the long answer, right?

Some of you do know, but if you don't, I've been dealing with right knee and right hip issue for years now( patella tracking disorder, and sciatic nerve damage in the right hip due to the inbalance in my right side) . Last summer (May-August 2012) it took a turn for the worse. The pain was nearly unbearable and at that point it looked like I was heading for my second knee surgery. This time around though, it was looking like a partial patella replacement. Which would've meant months to years of recovery, limited mobility, and a whole other slew of issues I just wasn't ready to deal with. I mean, I wasn't even 30 years old and doctors were telling me that my knee had been deteriorated to the condition of someone twice my age.

Needless to say, I wasn't happy.

After my orthopedic surgeon sent me back to physical therapy in preperation for potential surgery (that, and my condition had to deteriorate MORE for them to actually perform surgery). As I sat in the therapist office, all I had was boiling fustration rolling in my gut. When it came time to be seen, the therapist asked me what I wanted my end goal of the next six weeks after doing therapy.

Mind you, that wasn't my first time in physical therapy for my knee-at that point, didn't think it would be my last either-so I heard that line before. This time though I was ten-shades of pissed. So as soon as that question came out of his mouth, I started tearing up in fustration and cried: "I want my strength back! I've gone years with dealing with my damn knee, and not being able to be active like I used to. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of the weight I've gained. I'm sick of feeling useless. Help me get my strength back, and if you can't then I might as well get ready for surgery."

The therapist took one good look at me, smiled and said: "I think I can do that."

Me: "Really?"

Therapist: "Yes ma'am. It won't be easy, but you have to follow exactly what I say."

Me: "At this point, anything. Just no more dumb stretches."

At this point the therapist was still smiling and directed me to follow him after he took a look at my knee and performed a flexibility test. He lead me into the suite of the physical therapist office, right to a roll around stool. "Get on this chair, and with your bad leg, pull yourself around the room at least once, twice if you can manage it."

I gave him a W-T-F look but did as he said. Lemme tell ya readers-one lap was just about 15 meters, and that shit HURT like a mother fucker and I was sweating bullets! No sooner after I did that, he took me over to the leg press machine they had there and started me at a light weight, like 50-60lbs. He then directed me to do 3 sets of 12, concentrating on the contraction of my quads.

Yet again, I was thinking W-T-F, but I went through with it.

So for the following six weeks, three times a week I had physical therapy with this guy, and it was all weight training. Mind you, he had me do some "stretches" but it wasn't the static stretching that I was used to. All my warm ups were dynamic, painful, and exhausting. And no sooner was I done with the warm ups, it was working my legs with heavy weight: leg press, leg curls and extentions, step ups, squats, the whole gambit. Some were with weight, others were only body weight.

Speeding up a bit: after the end of the six weeks, I noticed that walking was easier. Pain was becoming a bit more manageable to the point where I didn't have to take my heavy painkillers too often, just an anti-inflamatory once or twice a week. By the time our last session ended, he instructed me to keep doing this, and increasing weight as I saw fit and comfortable with. All this time, something amazing was happening-my strength to do things was slowly coming back. I had more energy...

And I think I started pushing my limits with the weight training. So, I started weight training regularly...and REALLY got into it. My weight was dropping, I was feeling better, and being pain free was NIIICE.

That, and having a fit body is pretty nice as well too :)

Speed up to present time. So far I've lost all the weight I had put on and more, gained muscle and haven't had a need to take a painkiller in nearly a year. Still the occasional anti-inflamatory, but usually because I went and killed it at the gym. And as of today, I'm two-weeks out from my first bodybuildng competition: it's my way of proving to myself that I can still do anything and a testament to my accomplishment.

So, that's what I've been doing for the past year folks. I've been getting my health in check and putting my life back together that isn't controlled by pain management. Oh, and making my next rank in the Air Force (Tech Seargent baby!) and taking on a few more responsibilites. But finally after such a long time, shit is back in order.

In the meantime, stay tuned for some udates, excerpts, and just shennanigans from me in the coming weeks! And for those who are reading this-thanks for sticking by an waiting for me :)