Youth

Abused:
that's something I can say
I have never been.
Never hit
out of love
or fucked
out of hate,
taken advantage of
and left damaged on a
bedroom floor, waiting
on a time bomb
that may or
may not
ever go off.
But I am
young and forgetful,
fun and aroused
and I allow myself
some space:

I drink red, red wine and
I hate abortion,
looking at the
sky waiting for aliens.
Murder isn't solved with murder
but, I'd
kill six billion of you
to save our earth.

Falling has gotten
so much easier than standing,
you people are a
disease caught with ease
but incurable,
pleased with the mundane
and serendipity,
viruses reproducing
but having no brain.

I've called myself stupid
(life is so simple,
everybody's doing it)
and I am a nihilistic pacifist:
live and let live,
killing to stay alive,
the lack of sense
is irrelevant,
I'm certain
you wouldn't understand.

My breath is heavy;
the air has lost
its comfort.
I'm drinking seltzer water
and food coloring.
Now, I am old and
have a good memory,
dissatisfied and
I have a history of hurting myself but,
I have never been abused.
Hey, all you people,
why am I so confused?
If life isn't so unfortunate,
then why the fuck am I so sad?