the closer I get, the farther it seems

by, Cassandra

Drowning myself in your lifeless eyes,
I try, I fail and I write all about
every not-quite story book ending.
I'm sinking on solid ground,
and only way out is to lock myself
inside these mildew infested walls.

I need to find a window out,
because family-vines are wrapping
themselves around my throat.
I'm losing air but gaining ground.
One-upmanship is easy when you're
playing against yourself.

Count-down to the finish line, and
I'm still wondering what my reward is.
Sure, I did it on my own, but I'm still
left stranded and map-less. What now?
Cutting ties and burning bridges?
Leaping without ever looking?

What did I gain from this sojourn?
I've lost what I was supposed to save,
and without it, I'm unable to walk away.
But at what point do I trade my sanity
for my life and just give in?
I really don't want to give in.

I'm not going back.
I'll make the damn call.

a/n: life. I'm jobless and sick and am getting so tired of all this crap. when does it end?