We'd only been walking for a couple of minutes when there was a loud rustle in the trees behind us. Oh mouldy candy canes, the guards must have already woken up! I was just in the process of mentally writing some nasty rhyming curses when from the bushes charged the giant turkey for earlier.
"Bloody hell, not again..." Oscar murmured, looking thoroughly fed-up with our little jaunt through the forest of doom. Why did he have to leave his sword behind in the sleigh? "Get behind me, Lila-" He began before I held up my hand in a 'stop right there, buddy!' gesture.
"Zip it, your highness. Let me handle this."
"Are you insane? That thing will peck you to shreds." I shrugged, and walked towards the freakishly-large fowl. As the beast hopped towards us, I looked into its round red eyes and I didn't see anger, but quite the opposite- The bird appeared to be crying? It drew to a halt a couple of inches in front of me and in spite of my observation, I gulped. Usually I had turkey for Christmas dinner- not the other way round. The creature bent its feathered head down, so its eyes were level with mine and it began gobbling loudly. I looked on puzzled- what was it trying to say? Hmm, time for a little spell...
Oh vast turkey with eyes of red
Let me know what's going on in your head
You're bigger than most festive birds
So, by the power of Greyskull, let you speak words!
"-I didn't want to do it, the mouse king's minion worked some kind of charm...oh, wait...what's going on?" The turkey looked down at me and I smiled nervously. "Can you understand me, girl?" I nodded.
"Yeah, sorry, I just had to know if you wanted to eat us or not." The turkey's eyes widened at this and then he threw back his head and gobbled heartily.
"Eat you? Heavens no! Is it the fangs that gave you that idea?"
"Yes, the fangs and the fact you charged us like a bloodthirsty monster last night." Oscar added, looking the turkey up and down suspiciously. The bird's head dropped miserably and again his red eyes filled with tears.
"Oh, I'm terribly sorry for that, I'm not usually so...vicious. I was just taking a little stroll around the forest last night on the hunt for some truffles as I'm supposed to making St Nikolaus dinner for my-er- Regina-"
"Regina?" I enquired politely.
"Oh yes, the most beautiful fowl in all of Florentine, gorgeous plumage, eyes like rubies," He sighed dreamily. "I was hoping the dinner would provide me with the chance to tell her how highly I regard her company."
"Or in other words, how much you'd like a piece?" I sniggered, before Oscar elbowed me in the ribs.
"Please refrain from being discourteous, Lila." He remarked, rolling his eyes haughtily. "Would you even know true love if it came up to you and struck you across the face with a bunch of mistletoe?"
"Oh save your romantic speeches for Princess Pirlipat." I retorted nastily. Ever since my realisation a few minutes previously, romance was the last thing I wanted to think about. Usually I lapped up soppy stories but now I realised in real-life situations, feelings were bloody confusing. Here I was lost in a magical land, and to my horror, potentially crushing on a completely exasperating (betrothed) prince who appeared to dislike me in return and enjoy toying with my feelings. Well sod him! I may be helping him out, but that was just to save my cousin. I was just going to ignore him the best I could until we sorted everything out and I could go home and never have to see his stupid smarmy face ever again. It didn't matter how attractive he was, I was now officially immune to his charms. I couldn't believe I even thought for a second we were starting to get along.
"Lila-"
"Oh shut up, Toy-boy!" I snarled, wishing I could put my finger on just why I was feeling so insulted that he assumed I had no idea about love. "You don't know anything about me and you never will, so just shut your stupid nutcracker gob and let the turkey speak!" I turned to look at the massive bird and he actually shivered; was the fanged fowl afraid of me?
"You've made your feeling quite clear." Oscar replied coldly. "Do carry on...?" He asked the turkey- who appeared utterly baffled by our little spat- graciously.
"Ralph." The bird said, giving us a small bow. "Anyway, to cut a long story short, the mouse king's men captured me and I appeared to have been placed under a charm of sorts. Next thing I knew I woke up in the snow with a blinding headache."
"Oscar." I coughed, causing him to shoot me a dirty look which seemed to say 'Well I didn't know he was really a nice turkey'.
"However, your highness- and Lila, is it?" I nodded, "I wanted to ask you if I could aid you in fighting the mouse king in any way?"
"How did you know he was the prince?" I asked, jabbing my finger at Toy-boy questioning.
"Well I remembered that before the man cast a spell on me he mentioned you...also I bought the commemorative plate they released for you coronation." I was about to burst out laughing harder than I ever had in my life, but Oscar shot me a warning look.
"Not. A. Word." He growled. My stomach actually hurt from holding in the laughter that wanted to come spilling out my mouth. Toy-boy's royal visage was emblazoned on china!
"Well highness, how can I help?" The turkey asked, appearing visibly embarrassed that he had admitted to owning royal memorabilia.
"We need to get to the royal palace rapido?" I suggested, praying he could help us out.
"I could take you to the edge of the forest? Near the Ginger Mountains?" Ralph replied.
"That would be excellent." Oscar said with a faint smile.
"It would be an honour to take you, sire." Ralph exclaimed excitedly, "Hop on." He bent down so we could climb on his back. Hmm, Turkey Taxi- a novel way to travel and still as oddly festive as the sleigh.
When we were both settled and Ralph had instructed us where to hold on, I couldn't resist the urge to wind up Oscar as Ralph started on our way, running through the forest as fast as any car.
"Hey, Toy-boy, do you mind if I sing a song?" I kept my tone innocent and light.
"Do whatever you wish, as you said, it is no concern of mine." I felt momentarily hurt at his icy tone, but I pushed that feeling to the back of my mind; it doesn't matter if he hates you, it's much easier that way .Time for a little David Bowie- His version of Little Drummer Boy would be more festive, but there was one of Bowie's hits I knew was guaranteed to get right up Oscar's regal nose.
"Oh oh oh ohoo, little china boy!" I sang out loudly, feeling a little better as I heard Toy-boy groan wearily from in front of me.
Sad to say the story will have to be cut down to get finished for Christmas due to the huge amount of work I've had to do for uni these past few weeks :( I still hope you enjoy the shorter version though...
Thanks for the reviews/faves! May the festive awesome be with you!
9 DAYS! I'm wayyy too excited! (Haha btw, my ringtone is 'Last Christmas' which is not so cool when it goes off in the middle of your publishing presentation :s)