A/N: On a roll today, felt like typing up two chapters. Reviews, as always, are appreciated :)
Chapter 13- On love, on life
Day Two: Salt Lake City 2 pm
I flung my jacket over my shoulder as I stormed out of the club, and wasn't greeted by photographers- but by a strong gust of wind. I kept walking in the opposite direction of the club down the street, pissed at myself yet again. I had just done what I had done my whole life in the situation of being forced to confront my feelings.
My cell ringing in my jacket tore me out of my thoughts. I was surprised because I thought I'd left it back at the club. I looked at the caller ID and didn't recognize the number, but still picked it up. "Hello?" I breathed, searching for my cigarette pack.
"Hayley?" a voice on the other end questioned. "It's Mike." I smiled as I found a bench on the street to sit on.
"Hey!" I answered brightly. "What happened to your number?"
"I'm calling from Sky's phone. I lost mine already." I could hear the embarrassment in his voice. I laughed.
"Already? It's been like three days on tour and you've already lost your phone. You're officially an idiot," I teased.
"Hey, I didn't call you to listen to you berate me for being forgetful in a bar and losing my damn phone," he shot back. I heard other muffled voices in the background. They must be having a blast- I almost wished I were there instead of where I was. "Hold on, someone wants to say hi." I heard the phone being passed around and more muffled voices.
"I didn't pour those drinks down your throat, you jackass. Hales?" I heard Emily yell before coming on the phone with me. My smile widened. I missed her dearly.
"Em! Hey, I'm here. What sort of trouble are you guys getting into?" She barked a laugh.
"You seriously don't even want to know. It's such a pain in the ass keeping these two in line. Sky here is accusing me of getting Mike drunk on purpose so he could lose his phone in the bar the other night. How's Utah?" she rambled. I sighed.
"Complicated ," I muttered. She immediately became concerned.
"Is it cause of the photos?" I groaned, slapping my hand to my forehead.
"Does everybody know? Jeez!" I complained. "Stupid fucking photographers."
"What did Allison say?" Em asked. Before I could answer, I vaguely heard my name being called down the street. I turned around and saw Liv slowly coming into view. Great, I thought. It's a goddamn search party. I turned my attention back to Emily.
"She said as long as whatever I did with Jayme out here didn't make it into the press, then whatever." There was silence for a moment on the other end.
"I know what you're doing Hales. You're running again, aren't you?" Stupid friends. Especially knowing Em for as long as I had, she knew my tendencies by now. I turned around again. Liv was standing a few feet away from me, waiting. "You can't run from your feelings forever, sweetie. Sooner or later you'll have to face that fact and face Jayme." I sighed.
"I'm doing what I gotta do," I muttered to her. There was silence again on the other end. I knew she didn't believe me. Em knew better than to push me though. I'd just burrow deeper in my hole and cut everyone off eventually.
"I hope you know what you're doing Hales. I gotta go. Sky's pissy about getting his phone back." I said my goodbyes and hung up. I stood up to face Liv.
"What the fuck was that hissy fit back there?" She asked as I approached her. I crossed my arms over my chest and leaned on my hip.
"Nothing, Liv. It was nothing." I left it at that. She narrowed her eyes, obviously not believing me.
"Bullshit," she snapped. "Look, you're here to do a job and so are we. Don't turn this into a repeat of four years ago and destroy everything we built up. And don't you fucking dare take us down with you in a blaze of glory." I stared her down. She may have intimidated me back at my condo in Seattle, but that was before.
"Trust me," I said with gritted teeth . "That's not going to happen." We both started walking back to the club, neither one of us speaking another word. "What about you?" I asked suddenly. She turned to look at me confused.
"What about me?" I figured now was a good time to start talking about her issues with drinking, now that we were alone for the time being.
"Liv, I know what's going on with you. You come to me and preach about not taking you all down in a blaze of glory. What about what you've been doing? Don't tell me your drinking hasn't affected anything. If anything, it's gonna be you taking everyone down in a blaze of glory." She stopped walking and whirled around to face me, pure fury written all over her face.
"It's none of your fucking business what I do with my life now is it? I don't tell you how to run your stupid life, don't you dare tell me how to run mine," she snapped. I wasn't about to let the situation drop.
"If you keep going the rate you're at, the media's going to pick up on it and you could lose everything-" I pressed, but she cut me off.
"Hayley, I don't need your therapist bullshit, okay? You want to stick with us and get your story with Selene, go ahead. Don't fuck it up for us and if you hurt Jayme again, I swear I will fly back to Seattle and hunt your sorry ass down." I was used to this rant of hers by now, so I tried another approach.
"Liv, I'm not out to attack you. I just want to know what you're going through," I said. She rolled her eyes.
"This coming from the girl that runs from her feelings and problems in life," Liv snorted a sarcastic laugh.
"I'm just trying to help you!" I yelled as she sped up her pace.
"Try figuring out your own damn problems before you go around trying to fix everyone else's!" she yelled back and took off ahead of me. I stopped jogging trying to catch up with her and just stood on the sidewalk. I kicked a rock with my shoe and growled in frustration. I now had two people mad at me that I had to work with for the next month.
"I hate life," I muttered to myself. After a moment, my cell rang once again. "Stupid phone, leave me alone!" I hollered as I yanked it back out from my back pocket. "What?" I snapped, not even looking at the caller ID.
"What did you do to Liv?" Selene asked on the other end. I sighed.
"Nothing. I tried to reason with her about her issues with drinking but she wasn't having any of it." I heard a low whistle on the other end. "Why?"
"She stormed in here and got her shit and left. Ranting about how you came back here just to ruin everything the band had done," she answered. "I think your approach had the opposite effect you wanted." I chuckled a bit.
"You think? Where did she go?"
"I dunno. Hopefully somewhere to cool off before they go on tonight," Selene said. The thought hit me like lightning as soon as she said it. Fear was in my voice when I spoke.
"She's going to go to a bar. Dammit! Selene, I need you to grab Holden and Tim. Bring them back to the bus or wherever they'll be staying for the time being. Tell Jayme to stay at Deseret Lounge. We have to find her before she does something stupid." I snapped my phone shut and broke out into a run towards the club. All the while I prayed that Jayme had listened to Selene and stayed. If anyone could get through to Liv once we found her it would be him. Holden may have been her best friend, but Jayme was her confidant. I finally reached the door and yanked it back open.
He was there and I breathed a sigh of relief. His back was turned to me, hunched over the stage. It looked like he was writing something down, but I thought nothing of it.
"I always hated your damn temper," he said suddenly- making me jump. He turned around to face me as I looked down at the ground.
"I always hated your over protectiveness of me. Now we're even. We have to find her, that's more important," I countered back. Jayme raised an eyebrow at me.
"We?" I rolled my eyes at this.
"You know where she is right now. She's at some bar. You promised me you'd help me get her help!" I yelled, marching over to him and trying to hit him. Of course he was quicker than me and held my tiny fist in his grip.
"Calm down Hales. I'm gonna help you find her. I'm just as worried about her as you are. She seemed really pissed when she came back here." My mind was in overdrive thinking about what Liv was getting herself into.
"I confronted her outside about it. I tried to get her to talk about it. She said some pretty hurtful things to me," I explained- trying to sneak a peak at the paper behind his back on the ledge of the stage. He caught me looking at it and folded it up so I couldn't see it. "What are you writing?"
"Some lyrics, and don't change the subject," Jayme answered. "What did she say?"
"She said that I came back to ruin everything and take everyone down in a blaze of glory. And that I'd hurt you again," I said softly. He kept his mouth a tight line and nodded.
"Well, that's already happened. But this is bigger than that right now. Our problems are on hold until we find Liv." He then pulled out his cell and made a phone call to Holden about possible places where we could start looking. As soon as Jayme left where he was standing, I saw the paper sitting on the stage that he folded up. I snuck it into my jacket pocket, but not before scanning what was written down so far. They looked like unfinished song lyrics.
Shock and dismay, they affect what we say
We should bite our tongues, we should bite our tongues
'Cause after all, it's only our lives anyway...
And I can't let it bother me
If fact and fate just can't agree on love, on life
Can't we stop taking ourselves too seriously?
I immediately hated myself for putting the only person I cared about through four years of heartache.
Two updates in one day :) I think that's a record. Lyrics are not mine, they are forever Bayside's and they are freaking amazing. Reviews make my day :D