A/N - i take foreverrr to update a million apologies.. but really have no need at this point b/c no one is really reading this story yet but thats okay. if you do you get a big hug from a polar bear with green eyes.

Jared was slumped in the backseat of Beckett's mom's mahogany mini van. His face was still pale, but it looked even more ghostly next to the rain sodden window. Beckett tried to act cheery to counteract the depressing mood but he gave up quickly. Jared had remained mute ever since Beckett saw him in the hospital. Beckett knew that out of everyone, Jared would take it the hardest. Jared and Rocko were sweethearts since forever and a day. Beckett never really understood it. He was only friends with Rocko for Jared's sake. She was definitely an odd duck. Jared never truly seemed happy when he was with her. She was always so moody.

They pulled up at Jared's off white town house. Beckett led Jared in so he wouldn't wander off somewhere else. He was definitely not currently residing on this earth. Jared's mom was already waiting at the yellow door, still in her work clothes. She visited Jared only once when he was in the hospital.

"Hello, Beckett."

"Hey, Mrs. Olivers. How is everything?"

"Oh, peachy. You should really come over for dinner sometime soon. I miss those nights." She added absentmindedly. "Well, I don't want to keep you waiting sweetie. We'll call." Mrs. Olivers patted Beckett on his brown head. She always liked Beckett in an awkward sort of way. More than Jared it seemed.

"Jared, I am so sorry I couldn't visit you more often. There was so much drama at work, I couldn't escape it." Jared nodded his air filled head. "I hope the detectives can gather more information about this crazy event. None of it makes sense to me."

Tell me about it. Jared thought in his head. Really, he was completely conscience. It was just that feigning lackadaisical saved him from dealing with everyone's stupid questions and ideas about his Rocko. What was there to find out about, "this crazy event"? Rocko blew her brains out after she promised Jared she wouldn't. That was the plain and simple, black and white, frightening truth.

His mother tossed her keys on the table with an annoying resounding clatter. Every noise, every movement, every object seemed far from Jared's mind. It was as if he was watching everything through a snow globe.

"Are you hungry? I'm sure you are after all that bland hospital food. Yes, I am sure you are. I will make you something. What would you like? Well I am craving a caesar salad, so I'll make some for you too." Jared's mom chattered away like a squirrel. Rocko didn't like squirrels. She liked possums. She had a pet possum named Esquire. Jared had to get away from his squirrely mother.

Jared went up to his room with trepidation. It would be the same as when he left it a week earlier. He opened the door firmly to an unwelcome sight. Just as he suspected it was exactly the same. Pictures of him and Rocko and drawings she made for him lined every wall causing him to feel dizzy. Then his eyes plastered to his favorite, and least favorite, drawing Rocko gave him. It was a self portrait of her with her head cut off in her hands and her neck spouted blood like a volcano. It was immensely burlesque and arduous at the same time. Jared threw himself into the carpet and tried to bury himself in it because he wanted to destroy every section of that painting but he couldn't. He wouldn't let himself tear it. Even though it was an exact representation of how Rocko betrayed him and broke him from the inside out, it portrayed her personality perfectly. That portrait was was the closest he could get to his real Rocko.

He crawled under his bed to escape the poison entering his soul. Rocko will not rub off on him like this. He will not even consider joining her in the morbid way she portrayed. That's what he tried to tell himself. Images of blood, guns, and his own head were constantly penetrating into his thoughts. She was, indeed, his whole life, his entire being and soul. Jared spread his arms around him and found a long forgotten blanket hunkered by the wall. He brought it in close to himself and cuddled into it until he fell into a disturbed sleep.

"Rocko you promised!" Jared was foaming at the mouth with rage and disbelief.

"I did not break my promise." Rocko's disconnected head spoke from the shelf her hand made.

"How do you explain it then, huh?" Jared attempted to get closer to Rocko but a force field guarded his path. "Let me touch you." he whimpered.

"This is not my doing." Her voice was escalating.

"Why?" Jared persisted.

Rocko's eyes flared and her hands did their bidding. She threw up her arm and slammed her head into the ground. It splattered like a watermelon. Jared flicked the chunks off his shirt with alarm.

A gleeful giggle chased Jared's ears. He looked around him and discovered he was in Cherry Park. It was his and Rocko's prime picnic location.

"Sorry, I spit my seeds all over you." Rocko's soft white hand brushed them away into the springy grass. Jared clenched her hand. "Wow, calm down Jared. You're kind of hurting me." She giggled some more.

Jared had so many things he wanted to ask her. He wanted to grill her. He wanted to hold the blinding lamp in her pale face and get answers to so many of his unspoken questions. He dismissed his thoughts and hid them under the odd weeping willow tree standing out among the cherry trees. He was just going to enjoy this moment with Rocko. Time was so limited.

If you read this I seriously love you to death! Criticism is welcomed and so is praise. Pleeeeease review. I just want to know what you think. It doesn't take as long as reading this, so c'mon! Well, anyways I hope you enjoyed it! Even if you didn't I certainly enjoyed writing it! I should update sooner than later cuz I am not so busy anymore. Though, that may not be the case. Ill stop rambling now. You review you get a marshmallow friend! tata